Welcome to the Vodka Re-cap of the Jason Ellis Show brought to you by vodka drink vodka for vodka vodka and you will all be vodka in all of your vodka. Jason opened the show talking about how you can look into a person’s eyes and totally get what they are feeling and what they are all about. And you need to take a look into your Bro’s eyes every now and then and not be afraid that it’s gay or anything. GAZE INTO YOUR BUDDY’S EYES! @BitPimps! I wanna gaze in your motherfucking eyes! Vodka.
Rawdog mentioned that while Jason can look into people’s souls through their eyes, he (Jason) wears sunglasses inside so that nobody can see him. I never got that whole thing that Jason and Stern do with the sunglasses in studio but there must be something to hiding behind the glasses makes you feel cool enough to run the show.
Today is Day 2 in the new studio which it turns out isn’t in Beverly Hills, but it is Beverly Hills Adjacent. Meaning they can look out the window and see Beverly Hills, but they aren’t quite high brow enough to be in actual Beverly Hills because…ya know….the Jew. Jude stopped by the show today for a bit. Today was his first day in the new studio and he is sort of warming up to it but he is jealous of all of the sweet sunshine coming in through the Jason Ellis Headquarters.
OH YEAH! there are new interns, most notably, two girls. Which Tully thinks is a perfect opportunity to pit them against each other because they don’t work at the same time. So they can tell one chick one thing, and the other another and make them fight to the death over who is the best intern. The one we got to hear today is named Vanessa, and she is Messican/Cooban so she has a fiery psycho streak in her for sure. She popped off some ‘Papi’s’ for Ellis and he seemed a bit flustered so this one could be trouble. They can’t traumatize these ones as much as the other ones because they are girls and you have to be nice to girls ladies and gentleman because….well… they sue.
Jason’s son (I’m not typing out his name because he may google his name and find this shit) should be a dating consultant. Reason being, because kids are honest as hell, and if you get a group of single people together and tell the kid to pick out who is nice and who is an asshole. I could just see little T**** leg kicking people to see who is cool or not. Speaking of little T****, Jason met Katie’s dad yesterday and T**** warmed up to him right quick and was leg kicking the crap out of him. Jason said her dad was super cool playing with the kids and that is awesome. I’m pretty happy (because of the vodka) for Jason getting a little more serious. Katie is an awesome chick who fits Jason perfectly, so he needs to get as deep as possible into family and stuff because Katie needs to stay. Vodka.
@KevinKraftSucks stopped by the show to talk about what’s going on with him lately. He is still doing his Mad Scientist Party Hour (He’s down on the bottom left) podcast and doing wacky shit. Jason karate chopped his face, and they played a game sort of like Godwar where he sang the songs or something. I missed this bit while I was in a store making paper, but twitter tells me it was pretty damn funny. Check it out on OnDemand. He also has a new app coming out which is a video/picture filter app with a horror type theme to it. It actually sounded fucking sweet as hell, but he didn’t give out the name of it so I can’t plug it here. I’m happy for the dude, seems like he is doing a sweet job of staying off the streets smoking crack for dick.
Sinead O’Connor got BQ tattooed on her face. Some say it’s the initials of her boyfriend, but Tully put the pieces of the puzzle together and realized it actually means Burger Queef. Some guy named Daniel doesn’t know how to party (or does he?) he started out going out with his friends one night when his wife let him have his balls for the night. At the end of the night he proceeded to piss in the streets, walk into a kabob place and hump the counter and floor with his pants down, and then proceed to walking out into traffic and make sweet love to a land rover. Land Rovers are basically the start of all the shit box cars like scions and Honda Elements and shit so fuck Land Rovers, as Daniel did. I salute you, Daniel. Butter Bean and Kimbo Slice are going to fight. Sounds almost like an Ellismania fight that could be called the “Out of Shape Fat Knockout Guy” fight.
Tera Patrick came on the show today. She’s super cool as far as porn chicks go. Not a total porn whore talking about how much she likes to suck dick and such. I like that in a porn star guest. Although she isn’t a porn star anymore. Moving on. Vodka. She is going to be fighting Sam “I’m a fat windbag” Reuben Sandwich at Ellismania and once she hit the punch pad, it seems she may be in trouble. scoring a 26. Pathetic. Right next to Josh “DudeLikeBro” Hansen. Anyway, she stuck around and talked about feet, and Tully whipped out his foot and it….is….GLORIOUS. Apparently Tully has a super hot foot. So he got super amped on that and him and Tera sort of had a moment there and Jason got jealous. Anyway, she was there for a while and nothing exciting happened so I’m gonna move on, fuck you. Vodka.
Jelly Fish kill more people than sharks per year. Local media sucks ass, feeding off of the sad stories of normal people going through tragic shit like they were celebrities going out for coffee and they should all fuck off. A guy called in spoiling the ending to Sons of Anarchy’s season premier which I’m going to spoil again right now: The episode ends with an 8th grade kid shoots up his school. The caller wanted to know what Ellis’ opinion was about TV shows showing that with all of the school shooting that have happened lately. Usually, this is the part where I start shouting at my radio, but Ellis surprised me and said that the show shouldn’t be painted as evil, because after all it is just a TV show. And freedom of expression through art should never be scrutinized for depicting things that actually happen in life. My vodka opinion on this is that you have a world brimming with parents who fail to do their jobs. If your kid shoots up his school, you fucked up. It is not the fault of someone who wrote an episode if a TV show, who is depicting events that have happened in real life because someone else was a shitty parent. People are very quick to blame media when a tragedy happens because it is an easy target. And you can draw similarities from almost any show to a real life event because those shows are almost always inspired by some real experience the writer had personally or heard of. I defy you to find a writer who wrote a horrific scene such as a school shooting with the intention of making someone copy it in real life and kill real human beings. It’s just not logical, and if you believe that, you are an un-evolved, illogical person with hysterical tendencies. Fuck Off.
Also, if you want to be in an Ellismania fight, tape yourself punching something (Heavy Bag, mattress, your wife(do not punch your wife because I just said that)) and send the video to fightclub@ellismania.com other than that, take it easy everyone, I’ll see you next week. Also, sorry there weren’t more pictures, but I had vodka, and then I had sex, so I was kind of rushing it.