Sup fuckers, it’s yet another Thursday with your Uncle Ghostload, and the ADHD is heavy today. Ellis’s jaw hurts cause he’s been sleeping crooked and shit’s breaking on him. Why do crab’s sleep sideways? But like Tully points out, if there was a roided up smurf, beating the shit out of all the other smurfs, and your 6 foot ass rolled into town, blue roided up smurf would bring it to you despite your towering appearance cause that’s all he knows how to do! Which really just means Ellis wants to get back on his board and shred, but not with a bunch of 14 year old kooks. And Linsanity would be more likely to be Ellis skate board buddy, not to dare be confused with his DP buddy, since Tully is too old a dog to learn that new trick. Did you know that Will practically gave birth to Silverchair? I mean this dude was the first to play them state side, and he was the dude that picked them up at the air port in Hotlanta, I mean practically raised those little warlords. Some crazy dude wants to be Ellis’s fight date buddy, again not his DP buddy, but this dude has never trained, just lifted some weights……well, get it up ya mate! Speaking of crazy dudes, Rawdog is all set to go to Mars. He even has it planned to coincide with the his last TJES show in roughly 6 years…….and then I lost transmission……..
…..yeah so I finally got back into The Jason Ellis Show, and just in time to hear them tell some dude to go write a haiku on Silverchair, followed by some other dudes best attempt at “Baby, Baby” or some shit. So what the hell is going on? Its the Little Miss Jason Ellis contest! Yeah I probably should have just switched over to Jude, but I stayed in and here’s what I deciphered. We had 3 lovely contestants, John, Perry and Jason. They each went through a well thought our test consisting of the aforementioned Silverchair haiku and a sexy karaoke, as well as eating a banana, a few questions, their overall looks, and of course a turn on the punch machine! Fuck dude, that’s a lot of shit, this mutherfucker must be important huh. Perry, who turned out to be the creepy dude, is the ocean and the least fuckable dude, had a haiku more about himself than Silverchair. Perry did win the punch machine with a solid 66 (Which he used his palm to strike the pad, hmmmm), but came in last in the final voting so fuck off. John, has huge areolas, which swayed Rawdog’s vote quite a bit, killed “My Humps”, and dominated the banana eating competition. John had a horrible and uncalled for haiku and more horrible and more-er uncalled for ass or lack thereof, so clearly he isn’t Little Miss Jason Ellis. Folks, meet Jason, not Ellis just a random dude with the same first name. Jason knows why bitches be trippin’, haikud the shit out of Silverchair, was easily the sexiest by default, and despite him not knowing how to properly eat a banana, he is the winner of the 2013 Little Miss Jason Ellis Pageant, so enjoy your free shit and don’t ever tell anyone about any of this, ever!!!
Kevin Farley is just a casual laid back dude! He stopped by the show to shoot the breeze with the fellas, cause you know he don’t give a flying mutherfucking fuck! Plus, he can do a spot on impression of a cop, so he’s got that going for him. You ever notice how sometimes in interviews we tend to find out more about Ellis than the guest? Well, this was kinda like that, but we did find out Ellis and Kevin share a serious bond having brothers who passed and both having to deal, with that and drugs and life and whatever dude let’s talk about Dancing With The Stars. Kevin’s hosts the road version of the show, which is still mega. He’s friends with Andy Dick as well, and subtly calls BS on Andy’s new female love thang. But its not just Ellis that bonded with Kevin today, Tully too shares a bond, University of Wisconsin-Madison bitches! Turns out that school is like a mini Australia, partying and burnouts. Kevin also was part of 2gether, a mock boy band, so he knows AJ and all the other boy band stars. He hangs at Rocking Riley’s, the only Irish Pub in Hollywood as it turns out, and sticks to vodka cause of the calories, but lets just keep that hush hush, its a little touchy. Lets also keep this hush hush, Tullyvich allegedly has some of Trader Joe’s finest in his home made Red Bull, all alleged of course, yeah come to think of it that didn’t happen, #fucktully. Back to Kevin, and his new movies! First off is Project Bigfoot, and this just pissed Rawdog off cause its a spoof on Bigfoot. After a 5minute exchange of Rawdog justifying Bigfoot being real, and The Loch Ness Monster dodging sonar, Kevin got back to his new movie, Project Bigfoot, which is due out in a few months and should be hilarious. But lets just say you don’t wanna wait a few months, and want your fix now, BOOM! No its not called boom ya dumbass, check out Paranormal Movie out on DVD now. Also, not sure how long you gotta wait for this, but Kevin and Ellis wanna start Titty Fucking Magazine so fuck yeah! Oh, and finally, for the ladies, if your in the Hollywood area and wanna get titty fucked by a Hollywood Star, thats @ImKevinFarley on twitter – Enjoy!
Well turns out the ADHD meds are wearing off on yet another tremendous edition of Your Mom’s House, so enjoy Hollywood News kids. Demi Moore is banging a younger Jason Ellis, good on ya mate! The Crickets are still alive. Nicole Richie was awesome in her dress she wore at this years Met Gala. Rawdog ain’t down for eating any crickets, maybe Dom is. What the fuck is a Met Gala anyways? Tom Hanks tops the list of Most Trusted individuals. Julia Roberts is Hindu. Some dude was swallowed by a hippo. “Meth Heads Die”, “Tully Beating Potheads”, “Will Suggesting Coke” what do all these have in common? They’re just random notes I jotted down, again the ADHD is thick today. Mayhem just figured out he ain’t listening to the show for a few days…….
…..but I’m sure he would feel better knowing that this dude Min existed back in the day, and could drop a load in the Nile River to ensure to crops would grow, duh! That reminds me of the time I tricked your grandmother into believing that if I dropped a load in her throat, her teeth would grow back, OH!