Welcome to Thursday’s recap, it’s a “special” recap today, AZ_RedDragon & bitPimps here filling in for jennimazky. We decided to do a bullet point recap, because why the fuck not? So hopefully you like it and hopefully we get to turn your mom out until 2015 – she’s a high earner.

• Ellis is not fat for a not in shape guy but he can’t settle for that.
• More hair on your back means you’re dying. Or maybe more fat than fit means your dying. At least to Ellis it does. If his face falls off, great. Just as long as he can do push-ups and shit.
• Tully’s kid kind of learned how to swing. So Tully decided to join him on the swing set and his less juicy head felt gross. Tully’s brain isn’t as juicy as it used to be. He got all head sicky from swinging. Welcome to getting older. He has reconciled with his aging, and drier brain.
• Ellis remembered the time he was in rehab dealing with his dad blowing him, and Ellis wanted to do shit, he thought about running away and flipping tables, but the rehab lady talked him out of that shit.
• Ellis is not done yet. Trampoline World & consecutive kickflips are still in the cards.
• “You only have one death to spend and I’d like to spend mine awesomely” – Orville Reddinbacher (Not the popcorn guy, the author guy.)
• Everyone has 1 death to spend, so you could spend that death however you see fit. Feel lucky for spending the time you have. All parties end. Don’t be a bitch and cry at the end because that’s on you. Also Joan Rivers is dead, goodbye funny lady. Thank you for the laughs.
• When you die you don’t have to see Tully’s grandma if you don’t want to but she’ll probably have pie. Tully doesn’t want to see his grandparents in Heaven, but he thinks his grandma has been baking lemon meringue pies, patiently waiting for him to die and show up.
• Will says when Tully dies, his heart will be so full of love, he’ll want to see his grandparents.
• Betty White is still alive and kicking.
• Wolfknives photoshoot and live show at the Roosevelt tomorrow. Lots of girls, lots of drinking, and Hotdog is a virgin. He practiced by honking Cumtard’s boobs.
• Nick Cannon announced on Twitter that he never has nor will he ever be eaten by Mariah Carey.
• Dying is metal, unless you’re being smothered by cotton candy.
• Ellis will be racing over the weekend in Minnesota, eh. And it will be broadcasted live on CBS Sports, check your local listings and flux capacitor for details
• Persians are the New Jersey Guidos of Los Angeles. Persians aren’t as uptight as the Orientals about their rugs.
• Armenian’s are scary, Tully buys his Falafels from some tough mother fuckers.
• Some Nick dude who gave a wrong number, challenged Ellis to play 1 on 1 hockey, 1 on 1 rugby, and also fight him. Challenge accepted.
• Texas dude bought a million dollar car, got two million worth of insurance, drove it into a lake, got busted for insurance fraud, now Bruce from cell block 4 has a new butt bitch.
• Hotdog went to the candy store to buy some cotton candy and Ellis is trying to kill Cumtard with it. It didn’t work, so Tully ate some cotton candy.
• Tully has a theory that every man with a normal sex drive has masturbated at work at least once. I’m jerking off right now.
• I came.
• Fuck Manners.
• Only 24 hours left to bid on the wolf art. Have you got that flux capacitor working yet?
• Worlds largest dinosaur has been found called the Hugefuckingdinosaurus.
• Texas man got stabbed by his roommate because his 35th birthday threesome was too noisy. And because his roommate is a jealous cunt.
• Don’t get Tully started on the water pressure at his house.
• Ellis & Tully watched “Over The Top” and gave a complete break down of the movie. The only thing better than watching Over The Top is watching Over The Top twice!
• There’s a Chinese Batman running around being all mysterious and shit as he delivers egg foo young and poo poo platters.
• Wolfknife names.
• What The Fuck song lyrics, Holy Diver, Give It Away Now, aww fuck it, you guys don’t need a list. Moving along.
• MMA chicks. Biceps and vaginas and punching oh my!