We started the show off on a rather odd foot. Ellis seemed a bit down and not in the right frame of mind. But Jude was with him. Why you ask? Well because he was being all professional and shit by preparing questions for a new game that he’s hosting. What game? Why it’s the Whitest Guy On The Show game! After listening to Ellis talk about the surf movie party where he talked to three guys from way back the entire time, the game finally started. After answering a series of questions like “Have you ever gone to camp?” “Do you use a washcloth?” “How were you disciplined as a child?” and “Do you own a tent?” We found out that the whitest guy in the studio is Kevin after telling a story about fondling another boys willy at summer camp. The others followed with Jetta, Ellis, Tully, and Will and Hotdog tied for the least whitest.
There’s a Berlin hotel that has windows in the bathroom because windows are fancy in Berlin I guess. But they “accidentally” installed them where people can see guests making doodie. This really isn’t helping the whole Germany shit fetish stereotypes. Ellis and Tully talked about weekend plans. Ellis has the kids for a little bit but then they’re bouncing to Catalinawith their mom, Mike Super Dad Tully is rolling solo with Linsanity with a weekend full of cars, playgrounds, snacks, and other shit little kids find awesome. Tully heard that they chum the waters off Catalina Island to keep sharks from the main beaches and this got Ellis talking about sharks. He talked about if sharks do or don’t like the taste of people, and a whole bunch of other false information that just irritates me. I would tell him to go read a few books before spouting off about shit he knows nothing about but let’s not forget who we’re allying about here. And for the record, no sharks do not prefer the taste of people, unfortunately the only way to find out is to taste us, and that hurts. At this point Ellis was getting his panties in a bunch and didn’t want to be on the show so they kinda played the Guess The Lyrics game, but shortly into it he decided to put on an old moto race from March. After the incredibly riveting radio they played more of the lyrics game.
After the break they watched more moto, talked about short attention spans or some shit, and a listener named Michael sent an email of why you shouldn’t be a Highlander. Basically when the earth blows up you will be radiated to death over and over for eternity. What’s will doing this weekend, he will be moisturizing. And maybe killing people. After interrogating Will, Jetta acted like a lady on the voice alteacation machine while Hotdog seduced her. They pretty much just talked about horse cocks and shit play. I’d write more about this segment but with the current state of enthusiasm in the studio I could give a shit on this end too. But wait there’s more!
The final hour of the show was a fucking masterpiece! Jetta doesn’t know shit about classic rock so what would be better than classic rock karaoke featuring rock superstar Jetta! For the first few songs he got a lyric sheet and just had to manage to sing the song right but after nailing a few he had to make up own lyrics, and this is where the magic began. My personal favorite was his rendition of Kick Start My Heart. Thankfully the Tupac Cobra of NYA, bitPimps, recorded them all for your listening pleasure. Trust me, listen to them all and I guarantee yer mum won’t be the only one throwing her skid marked undies at the radio, OH!
Here comes somethin comin down the street with a lightnin boldt over my shoulder
Drivin my car drivin real fast and I’m gonn break the law
Tryin to buy coke on the street but I can’t find a person to sell it to me
Do I look shady do I look like a cop don’t mind the moust-ah-asche
I’m lookin for drugs can anyone help me oh yeah
Lookin for drugs
someone help me out I’m lookin for drugs
I want to get high right now someone please help me
I’m really low and I’m really depressed so
Maybe get drugs and high as somethin
Sittin back home still not high-igh
My old lady don’t want to give me the pie-eye
you know what I mean by that she wouldn’t let me in crack
All I want to do is get (????????) but I’m sleepin on the couch
the couch, the couch, yeah