Put down the hammer, take off the hardhat off, kick off those stripper heels and sit down and enjoy the recap I wrote just for you. Today is a super duper specialtacular day! Ellis learned how to do a new kicky ass kicking kick today and can’t wait to rain the pain upon Mike Jasper. But he’s mostly stoked that he’s still learning new stuff. Also the San Diego book signing is Saturday (ummm, yesterday. If you’re not used to this shit by now then you’re not paying attention.) then a visit with PLG and then moto but not in that order. Scientists are trying to build a star but they haven’t yet but if they do then that shit will be so awesome because your mom can’t yell at you for leaving lights on and cooking the whole neighborhood when you leave the front door open. Don’t forget to be home when the street lights come on. The discussion turned to pimps and how if Ellis turned to a life of crime he would be a pimp, he also might have known a pimp back in the land down under. Tully
would be a burglar and burgle people. He’d wait till they were on vacation and then bugle their home, or go suck dicks. Speaking of sucking dicks Guy Fieri had his Lamborghini stolen and the spectacular secret argent type break in was caught on video. After laughing at Guy and virtually high fiving the mission impossible dude they talked about the lifestyles of the Will and famous. We learned that will lives in a one bedroom apartment with Mountain Dew in the fridge and a bed with two blankets and three pillows so he can rock some lucky ladies world. Will got a little down on himself for being kinda a fat slob but Jason gave him the fitness, determination, and growing up poor and eating like that talk that he gives everyone to motivate them and educate them that they can change. Or some bullshit like that.
Justine Joli came in studio today and Ellis declared that she is one of the top ten hottest girls that’s ever been in the studio and the number one hottest butthole ever! They talked about how the North Carolina Walmart toe sucker got caught and how a New Mexico shoe salesman bit off the tip of his girlfriends toe. I thought I started to see a pattern here but then they brought out the Shake Weight and kettle bell so they could get more clips for the shitty intro that Jason seems to like so much. But before Justine left she told everyone how to jack off a pussy by using the king fu death grip and then moving your hand in and out like a dude in Jersey fist pumping with his bros in tank tops.
Who is your daddy and what does he do? Oh you don’t know, then it’s probably this dude in the Netherlands that is offering anonomous sperm donation the old fashioned way. According to him he’s up to his 98th child. That’s a lot of bump n grind. After that story they did more button bar stuff then Jason Mamoa joined them. I have never watched Game Of Thrones or heard of Jason Mamoa but this is what I learned about him. He threw out his back and fucked up his cyatic nerve playing hockey, he’s an actor and director, grew up surfing and skateboarding in Iowa, he likes to throw axes, he has a movie called Road To Paloma, he’s a Gemini, he likes long walked on the beach, wine, poetry, and talking about his feelings.
Kenny Watson of team RCH finally came in to talk about Ellis’s new Suzuki 450. It’s not
just any bike you can pick up off the show room floor. It has carbon fiber brakes with speed tech nitro turbo wheels with inappropriate nipples and spokes, a titty box wine clutch adjuster with a slick 50 astro glide tail pipe exhaust. Not to mention the sponsorships that come along like the something something Casino featuring the Butthole Buffet and roulette tables. Not to mention the gentleman’s club, The Crab Shack, featuring yer mum on center stage every night, OH!