It’s Wednesday today for just a few more hours and Wednesday is an ok day to die. Or something. Ellis was rambling about some shit and I couldn’t follow too closely because DAMN this beer has a high alcohol percentage. WOO! And I am writing this all kinds of out of order because the show came on demand late AGAIN (CULLEN!) and I heard the show out of order. Katie is in studio today, so we go to hear her little giggle and off color comments all day. And it was pretty awesome. I’d vote her in for the open chair. Her or Jude. They should fight to the death. A real cat woman that’s 50/50 cat and woman would be totally hot to bone all the time, but the relationship would be based on sex and spooning. Dog woman would be disgusting, as demonstrated below. There was a whole long conversation on what the best sexualized animal would be. Tully argued there was no way to sexually improve on Dolphins and I sort of agree which makes me feel weird.
Tully made it known to Ellis that he had been holding onto his balls for some time during the show now. At first I thought Tully was finally making his move and presenting his balls to Ellis, sexually. But after a brief blackout, I pulled my car back onto the road and Cumtard was in studio, and everyone had their hands on their junk, and in Will’s case, up his butt. I thought for a moment I had been transported to radio heaven, but alas, itom was for a new level of disgusting radio. Each of the gentleman holding their balls would offer a blindfolded Cumtarded their smelly fingers under his nose, and Cumtard had to guess who’s was who’s. Some smelled clean (Ellis), some smelled like butthole(Jetta), someone touched Cumtard’s lip (Tully) and one was an actual butthole (Kano, the hairless cat). After Cumtard’s olfactory senses were effectively molested, a conversation about smelly balls and vaginas ensued complete with calls about dudes blowing man juices into their chick’s meat pocket. Katie has found that ethnic dudes have a more pungent nut odor from her research. That made Ellis very uncomfortable and I liked it. Cumtard said the worst smell he could think of was the condom/cum/lady juice/sweat combo after a gross night of banging. Ellis then tried for 5 minutes to try and make Kevin explain this cocktail of sex fluids like he was explaining it to a child, so he couldn’t make it dirty, but he had to have adults understand it too. So it was basically Kevin stumble over gross new words for jism like “Bing Bing” for five minutes while everyone told him how gross he was. Later in the show, a couple of callers said that there is such a thing called “kamikaze sperm” that will stay in the vaginal cavity and attack any other sperm from someone else when they enter. Red. Dragons.
After the break, Shannon Gunnz came into the studio to get berated by Ellis for her taste in music. She had some new band’s debut album and they played a bit of it. The problem with it was that it was that same kind of generic butt rock you hear all day on any generic rock station. Think Breaking Benjamin, Creed, Five Finger Death Punch. Ellis pounded on just how lame the riff was, while Tully came at it saying that that kind of song had already been written and played so many times that at this point, it just shines like a bright light of unoriginality that is void of creativity. After making fun of her music, they had Gunnz do pushups and grunt and moan, and my penis started to flinch until they started asking her questions like “How do you play with your dog?” and she replied “I love my dog” and then it got weird. As far as hot chicks breathing into a mic, it wasn’t much of a go for me. Apparently when she left, Tully thought Gunnz seemed a little down. So after the break, they brought her back in and asked her If they bummed her out by making her do pushups or for ragging on her band. She said she was fine, but it definitely seemed like she was bummed. So they fake apologized, and she fake accepted and I fake orgasmed.
The Duck Dynasty dude is in trouble because he said that being gay was illogical according to the bible. So of course now a bunch of people are saying they should be kicked off the air because he disagrees. Look, yes I think his belief is misguided and ultimately incorrect, but, everyone is entitled to their opinion. Tully read the quote, and it wasn’t an outlandishly aggressive thing to say, he was just answering the question he was asked. Ellis is backing him, if that means anything. Even if what he says is a complete polar opposite to what Ellis thinks, he still feels he has the right to have it. Also, I am getting really sick of people losing their jobs for voicing their opinions just because it offends another group of people. And what did you think you were going to hear from a southern redneck type? It’s basically a 50/50 shot. You could have just looked at the dude and knew he didn’t like homosexuals. Either way, fuck off I don’t want to type this anymore.
Shia Labeouf plagiarized a comic book in a short film he made and then he had to apologize. Well, turns out he also plagiarized his apology from a Yahoo! answers page from 4 years ago. Props to Tully for calling this guy a dick bag for years, you totally called it dude.
Rob Dyrdek has a new show coming out on Xbox One because Xbox wants to be your everything. The show is a comedy about retired skateboarders annnnnnnndddd….Jason isn’t going to be in it. Probably won’t be any skateboarders in it, just actors playing skateboarders so look for that.
Anyway, that’s all I got folks. After the next two days, the show will be off for two weeks for the holiday. So merry Christmas and all that shit.