Welcome to the Friday edition of The Jason Ellis Show recap where we don’t give a fuck. The show started wonderfully because we didn’t hear anybody named Sam, only a sick cunt named Dingo! Tully has recently learned the irreplaceable value and convenience of double zippers. CJH was also in studio and got the honor of being the first guest to sit on the new Grant Cobb Super Couch Deluxe. They got on the topic of Vegas and how the casinos pump oxygen in but it’s a myth because Tully said so and he’s smarter than you. There defiantly is cocaine on the room cards though. There was a shooting at LAX today. It sucks and we hope for the best for everyone involved except the gunman, he can eat shit and die. Speaking of eating shit, the guys worked their way to the development of a new contest where they judge celebrity shits. Kit Cope has already got a head start by sending in a couple pictures from his feces file. After talking about Kit’s cables they somehow got onto the topic of Snooki’s future boyfriend and how difficult it will be for Ellis to keep his fist out of the inside of their skull.
Siriacha hot sauce is being taken to court because the smell and constant eye burns are making people get their panties in a bunch. Dingos friend, Josh Wood, came in and told the story of how he exploded his neck when he crashed. The doctors told him that he would never walk again but being an extreme sports guy he had the drive to not accept that. Long story short, he was too stupid to stay hurt and four months later he walked out of rehab. If you want to read more check out his new book, Relentless, available at www.joshwood.com.au. Worlds largest chicken nugget is also kosher and also gives gosh a massive boner followed by premature ejaculation. The guys then played Wilson’s most favoritest game in the world, no not The Rape Game, the Google Auto-Complete Game. Some of the entries were, “I’m bleeding from my…”, “Is it normal to have…”, “My vagina doesn’t…”, and many other gut wrenching entries from the mass of idiots on the internet.
A St. Louis Fire Chief blames the triggering of methane detectors on farts in the stadium. An incredibly gross man has infected armpits. And if guys weren’t gross enough, welcome to Women, Am I Right! According to researchers women expend 30% less energy than men during sex. A woman in a battered wife costume beat up her boyfriend who was wearing a battered husband costume. A woman asked police officers, full uniformed police officers, to help her murder her husband. Woman robbed bank police checked google history and found shit like, how to rob a bank, what is the penalty for robbing a bank, am I the stuoidest person in the world. There is a growing craigslist trend of women selling other women positive pregnancy tests, so be careful dudes and remember if your gonna go deep, wrap your meat! Woman in Dublin got arrested for streaking through a golf course. A woman somewhere is terrified by The Muppets, ahhhh hahahahahahaha. And a New Zeland woman is partially paralyzed from a hickey.
[This is where I was gonna put the picture of Sam Rubin being a suck ass but I couldn’t find one symbolizing the immensity of ass that this man has his lips around.]
To end the show the guys started to get Reverse award nominees, Best Man/Woman, Smallest Butthole (Sam Ruben), Most Deserving Celebrity, etc. They also filled in nominees for all the other categories and instead of boring you with them all I will remind you the the Least Beat Up Sausage Box has been cancelled again, nobody will ever be able to take that title from yer mum, OH!