The end of the week is finally here and you know what that means! Have you ever thought about having a metallic skull? Or what it would be like to have a phone implanted in your
jaw? If you did then airports would become a bitch and how could you post titty pictures onto Twitter? Ellis is getting his knee fixed and went to Dr. Stabby who injected some unicorn blood into his knee after asking Jason if he was freeballin. Then Ellis talked about getting a nose job, mostly to fix his deviated septum and then maybe get shit straightened out. Speaking of nose jobs, here’s a video of an eagle throwing a goat off a cliff. Farting in public is frowned upon unless your Asian, old, and old Asian or its just funny. But remember, farting in a kids face at Disneyland is an offense that is punishable by death. That’s what the internet said anyway and that means it’s true.
North Korea found a unicorn burial site. And they are also all full of shit. But you know who’s not full of shit? Godwar, and he made another appearance today. He brought us Godwar Metallica Edition and as cool as that sounds it was hard as fuck! However, there might be an appearance of Godwar on the next Death Death Die album because Godwar’s singing is metal as fuck! A model in Bejing got arrested for dressing up as a cop, a sexy sexy lady cop. The government knows that geneticly modified corn causes cancer but they don’t give a shit cause it’s all about the dolla dolla bills ya’ll. Wonder what you can do to help the enviroment? Try painting yourself green or working for the Sierra Club, or not farting, and a school in Phoenix punished two kids for fighting by making them hold hands in public for an hour. This is a great punishment, especially now that the boys are gay because of the contact with each other.
The Dogfather came into the studio today to sell his latest product, the Super Accurate Fortune Cookie. These cookies have an accuracy increase of 77% from other fortune cookies. They also come in different flavors like strawberry, mint, coconut, and bwoobewy. He was awso on Gwood Day LA to get even more pubwicity fow his cwookies. You can order these at smartestcookie.com and use the promo coke “fuckyou” to get a discount. Oh and they played Ellis Jeopardy but I missed it so if you can listen to it and tell me about it, thanks.
Some dude somewhere was on some kind of medication that turned him into a gambling gay sexaholic. That kind of reporting is only available here folks! In Hollywood News some singer guy kicked a chick out of his concert because she tweeted something about the show sucking, and it probably did. Gerard Depardieu got a DUI after falling off his
scooter,Dr. Phil is a womanizing prick, in case you didn’t already know, and what would Hollywood news be without Lindsay Lohan. Apparently she drinks 2 liters of vodka a day. Some caller brought up some of Ellis’ bad interviews over the years and LL Cool J and Johnny Rotten were the two discussed. I thought these were hilarious interviews because if they were just a little better it would have sucked. Final calls also sucked. And speaking of sucking, yer mum also sucks, she sucks so much that Dyson modeled their vacuums after her throat, OH!