Who’s ready for a kickass recap filled with hilarious jokes and witty insights about TJES Friday show that was live in Vegas from the Hard Rock Hotel? Well, fuck you because AZ_RedDragon was in Mexico all last week getting his Tequila and donkey show on, and I’m covering his ass. With both hands. And a tongue.
Jason opened up the show talking about the alcoholic degenerates who came to the Hard Rock (Our people) and started drinking well before noon when the show started. He remarked on how some people were already double fisting. But fuck it man, it’s Vegas, ain’t nobody care. Tully found out he can fly in his dreams now. He’s got training wheels in the form of an invisible ski lift, but Ellis says he’ll train him to not be such a pussy about it. Speaking of pussy, Ellis had an elevator room and left an open invitation to anyone who wanted to let him and Katie bang their girlfriends. If rabbits ever contracted a deadly STD’s the rabbit population would be fucked, because the rabbits wouldn’t be able to stop fucking. Also, you can’t date rabbits with big tits and STD’s because people would look at you funny.
Now, brace yourselves people because the show got super Motocrossy from here on out. WAIT! don’t leave just yet, because it didn’t suck, I promise! First up, Mike Mason which is a name I had never heard because I don’t follow moto came on and he was a really cool kid. He admitted right away that he was nervous as shit being on the radio in front of 50 drunk masturbators and @EmilyinSD. Shout out to Emily who was presumably there to get herself knocked up from Will Pendarvis again. Hail Satan. Anyway, Mike and the boys talked about past injuries and Tully showed everyone his shoulder scar from when he was a wee little Quarterback once upon a time.
Will “Patches” Pendarvis is apparently a bit of a high roller in the Hard Rock. Apparently he got a free room, gets a $70 food credit every day he is there and gets the cleanest of hookers sent to his room, mostly alive. He even won $700 Thursday night and presumably wired it directly to his ex-wife.
Jeremy “Twitch” Stenberg popped onto the broadcast briefly to tell Ellis how he would fist him properly, and get all up in them guts.
The reason all of these moto guys were in town was for some race on Saturday and some events going on with the Fuck Cancer Foundation . Go check out those guys they do some good work. With that, Carey Hart came on the show to chill and talk a bit about being old, and running hhttps://noyouare.lixlink.com/is Team RCH Racing. Jason and Carey reflected on being young and throwing themselves off of ramps and smashing bones and shitting themselves (Carey actually did shit himself on a crash once. Broke his ass, too). Tully then asked the two action sports guys what they would do when their kids wanted to start doing crazy shit, and they both said they’d rather they stay away entirely. But, as we all know, kids are gonna do what the fuck they want. It was a pretty lively conversation made all the better when Big B came in with some Cold Cock whiskey and made everybody do shots. Now. this may be where some people say “BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE SOBER ELLIS? WHY ARE YOU DRINKING DUURRRRRRRRRR?”
Look, shut the fuck up. Ellis isn’t sober, hasn’t been for a while, and that is his fucking business. His life rules, and he is in fucking Vegas, let him bang your wife. Anyway, so the dudes all pounded shots, and Ellis had been drinking a Hot Toddy (sp?) and had himself a little buzz going so naturally it was time to toss a small lady off of a stage into a group of drunk dudes. He’s pretty sure he was grabbing her pussy, directly in front of her husband which was awesome. Old man Pendarvis was bitching that it wasn’t a good idea but that guy’s life fucking sucks and he needs to sack the fuck up.
Some weird thing happened with some French lady, and a liquor girl. They were having some kind of contest for something and nothing really happened. Turns out the French chick wasn’t the model chick they thought, but a tattooist from Hart and Huntington named Lea that barely spoke English or understood what the guys were having her do. It was all very awkward. Moving on.
And that was pretty much that. Drinks were had, people presumably got penises and other things put into them and small people were hurled. They did final calls from the audience and man, those people fucking partied hard. You couldn’t understand anything they said until this lady got up and explained she was crazy angry and abused the shit out of her boyfriend. Cool story?
Anyway, we all know that these remote shows in front of crowds often suck massive donkey balls because either there are too many chicks for Ellis to get distracted by, too much background noise going on (X-games) and you can only hear half of the conversations with the crowd so the people with the mics have to repeat shit that was yelled at them. This was not the case this last Friday. After a while, I barely even noticed the show was being held in a live setting. The interviews with the moto dudes were all pretty solid, the jokes were all there and Ellis got creepy when he got a couple shots in him. So overall, great show and check it out on demand if you want, it was definitely worth it. Also, next week the show is going to New York, and no, Ellis isn’t going to be on Stern so quit fucking asking.