e not Hey boys and girls, it’s another day and another day (during the week, at least) means another meeting of the great radio minds Jason Ellis and Michael Tully for what is sure to be a great installment (sounds so much better than episode, don’t you think?) of The Jason Ellis Show!! Woooooooooooooooboooooooo!!! Do you remember my wooboo from last Tuesday? If you don’t, fuck you- go back and read it #wooboo is a thing now…and if you do…I’m sorry that I’m brining it back, but it makes me smile on the inside :) and in punctuation.
The studio has a lot of people in it, the aforementioned masters of TJES Universe- Ellis and Tully, as well as my forever Man Crush Monday on Tuesday Rude Jude, and out in the wings sits Master P, and UFC fighters Phil Davis and Alexander Gustavson. Dang…that’s a lot of people all trying to get into one studio. I guess that’s why they aren’t all actually in there together at the same time. Ellis is pretty pumped on the UFC Fighters and Master P being in the studio today, and talks about how he met Master P back in his X-Games days and how he wasn’t sure if he would get bitch slapped or shot if he asked for a picture and an autograph, because Master P was and is the kind of guy who looks like he would kill you if he didn’t appreciate the tone of your voice, even if it was just the result of nerves. But, on the other hand, Master P is pretty famous for being a daddy and being there for his kids, pushing them to be the best they can be. I mean look at Li’l Romeo. Oh, wait, no, that’s just Romeo now because he’s not all that Lil anymore. And then somehow (I was driving, so, no notes) this all led to a discussion about The Kennedy’s (that whole big presidential family) and how all their money came from Joseph Kennedy being a bootlegger during the prohibition, and that’s not the kind of thing that gets done without pistols. I remember Jude saying that and Tully confirming it for Ellis, because he was like, “wow, really?!” and how allegedly The Godfather is an Italianized version of The Kennedy family and all of their trials and tribulations and penchant for winding up rather dead before they shoulda been dead.
Ellis and Tully are also getting ready to head to Vegas for the AVNs and they’re looking for a tattooist out there who is willing to tattoo an imprint of Katie’s vagina into the armpit of a tranny who doesn’t have her own. Which is really kind of beautiful when you think about it. Apparently the Hard Rock wants nothing at all to do with all of that so they need another tattooist in the area at wants to get in on the party. Ellis doesn’t even want it for free…he just wants it done! So hit him up in the tweets cause that’s where he hangs.
They also got into a conversation about that show, MTV Cribs and whether or not it is still a thing, but how it was a borderline awesome/sad/funny show that they all watched at one point (along with the rest of the world) and wondering about the cribs that all of the people who were on the show previously are in now. Tully at first said he was sure that MTV Cribs will, sometime in the future, be a thing again because MTV is really good at recycling their ideas, but then he sort of changes his mind and thinks it would be better if they did VH1 cribs and did a then and now side by side comparison of where people are now that they aren’t exactly in their prime anymore, maybe see if all the rappers who took turns using that mansion on the original run of cribs have all pooled their money and actually live in it together now or something. I mean…if they each sold one of their 12 cars that cost 250 grand then they could totally afford it. Right? Is the fridge still packed with nothing but Cristal? Or is there a new super expensive, gross champagne that everyone and their brother needs to get the party started and show girls to the bedroom which is where the magic happens? Do you fucking remember that? It’s like it was in the Cribs contract that at some point you had to reference your bed and say that it’s where the magic happened. Unless you were jailbait…I’m pretty sure Ryan Sheckler didn’t say that about his bed when he was like 12 and on that show.
And then, for some reason, speaking of jailbait, they got into a discussion about mistreating girls (in like, a stringing along kind of way) and Tully managed to reveal that he was dating a girl that he wasn’t aware he was dating- because h thought he was just fucking her (come on, at 16 if a girl is having sex with you it means that she is so totally in love with you) and he used to take her with him to meet other girls that he was planning in sleeping with and holy fuck even I can’t imagine the level of shade this girl must have been throwing at those other prospective girls. But Jude is right when he says that there are girls who you make cry and it gets you stuck in their head, always wondering what they did wrong, analyzing every little thing that was said, every glance, every touch…it’s fucking brutal to be a girl sometimes, man. But then the subject of rape comes up and the whole ‘define rape’ question gets thrown out and, being honest, if I wasn’t a regular listener I would have been turned off by the conversation that ensued because hearing the words ‘define tape’ come out of a dude’s mouth is just terrible tasting. But…I am a listener and able to separate them from the more chauvinistic men that exist in the world and appreciate that there were many valid points made by the guys regarding the fact that, somehow, the rape line has gotten a little blurry. They were specifically talking about the ads/PSA’s that are going around stating that a drunk female is not a consenting female and while I can see in theory what they mean…putting it in to practice is just…blurry. I mean, there’s ‘I’m drunk and having a good time, so let’s have sex drunk’ and then there’s ‘I’m so drunk that I can’t remember my name or locate my face OH MY GOD HAVE YOU SEEN MY FACE I SEEM TO HAVE MISPLACED IT’ drunk that leaves you peeing on couches cause you think you’re in the bathroom…and they’re very different when it comes to ability to consent in my opinion. But the law never seems to really ask my opinion so we’re left with conundrums and finger pointing and Jude saying he must have been raped more times than he can count. Which bring up that while thing…does this law apply to makes as well? I mean, it should, but if a guy shows up at the police station is he gonna be taken seriously or will the officer assume that he couldn’t have been all that inebriated if he was able to get it up? Ugh. I’m moving on, and so is the show, right into the break!!!!!
remember how not all that long ago John Jones failed his drug test because he was doing bumps during training camp? Well…the man checked into a drug treatment program for some help with his problem and the place was so fucking spectacular that he checked right back out the next day! Miraculous!! Ellis and Tully talk about how it’s kinda bullshit for a while and mention another UFC fighter (Chris Liebman) who went to rehab for being on pain pills and he definitely had to be in there for more than a day. But whatever because An drew the Giant has come into the studio with some music selections off of the top 100 charts in the different music genres annnnnnnnnnd they were mostly terrible, but is anyone really all that surprised? I mean, yeah, at least three of those songs are on my iPod and in the playlist that I currently listen to in the car and I love them, but I’m kinda like Andrew the Giant and I tend to love terrible music. I don’t think it’s terrible overall, since I listen to it, but I do acknowledge that it’s not deep and not challenging and takes little thought and questionable talent…but that’s why I like it. I like shallow music that I can bop around and sing to. I love great music too…but I like awful poppy catchy bubblegum nonsense too.
When the UFC guys were there, I swear that I took notes and paid attention, but I still feel like they didn’t talk about anything really!!!!
annnnnnnnnnd…I just got a call from my mom and I need to do a ‘to be continued’ due to a family emergency…doesn’t sound like anything terrible so I’ll finish this up tomorrow on my break from work!!!!