If we had feathers what would we be like? Would we fly like eagles or just realize that nobody can escape from the dreaded curse of male pattern baldness? Also how many people would kill themselves trying to fly off cliffs? Crazy how nature tends to weed out the stupid. The guys talked a bunch about how Hollywood is turning actors into pussies and that’s why Mickey Roark is all mangled up from plastic surgery and has to box so his face can get beat back into recognition. I wasn’t paying much attention because that’s usually what happens when people start talking about Hollywood and actors. But on to something way more exciting, MMA! Everything was pretty much the standard punch kick wrestle talk except for a little Japanese bruiser named Rin Nakai who is fighting Miesha Tate. A Canadian guy who knows a stripping hypnotist named Hypnotizerca called in and asked if Jason knows him too. I believe he thinks that because all the Canadians know each other and they assume all of us Americans know all the other Americans too. Well Canada you’re wrong, there are way more of us and we don’t all have to huddle underground together for half the year. After such a good belly laugh at the expense of others they talked a little about that wife beating cock knocker that is plastered all over ESPN. But more importantly than that, science has developed dude birth control! Now you never have to worry about dropping internal loads in that crazy bitches carnival and having her ass lie about being on the pill when she isn’t and then you getting stuck with a baby because she refuses to sit on the business end of a hanger. Score one for the guys!
Horse Force tickets are on sale now for their debut performance, Saturday October 25th at the Gramercy Theatre in New York City!
The Palin family is back in the news but not for being incredible retarded or for fucking moose. This time they were in a Palin family brawl at a friends birthday party because on of the patrons was telling one sister how he’s like to put his hockey stick into her sisters goal. I think she got jealous because nobody wants to sink their puck in her net. This was a fantastic into for What’s The Dumbest Thing You’ve Ever Done? Here are some of the ones I bothered to write down, a dude broke ankle to cover lie about breaking his ankle, a guy shot himself, another guy on mushrooms wiped his ass so much it started to bleed, Cumtards tried to make a fist print in hot asphalt and got burned like your sister at prom, and another proud member of the man club for men drove His car into a lake while getting road head. At least she didn’t bite.
Shave a shark at sharksavers.org. Welcome back to a brand new segment that I am officially calling Christians Live Music Moments. Here he has taken live clips from concerts and television performances and isolated the vocals just to show how good or horrible some singers really are. Which are good and which are bad? Hell if I know, you should’ve listened for that kind of detailed reporting but here’s a list of the acts mentioned. Hole, Rush, Nirvana, Kesha, Iron Maiden, Brittany Spears, The Who, Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Nikki Minaj, Metallica, and for the finale, ladies and gentlemen, The King, Elvis Presley!
Arnold Schwarzenegger used to be the governor and like many governors do they get a portrait of themselves made so everyone can see it in the Museum Of Portraits Of Govenors. The only thing about this though is that his portrait is six feet tall and there’s a smudge on it where there used to be a little picture of his then wife. But because he’s getting random trim on the daily he just colored over it with a sharpie. After this my app crapped out and I missed a bunch. With a bit of investigating I found out that they did some Wolfknife names, the only two I know of are Bitey McRabies and Bloated Sasquatch. We salute you! I bounced back in during the final calls, lucky me, and sat through the last 20 minutes of people not knowing if they were on the show or not. It was exciting but not as exciting as watching yer mum get ready for football season, OH!