What’s love got to do, got to do with it? With that, welcome to another Thursday edition of Thunder Dome with your host Tina Turner a.k.a Ellis. Yeah, I don’t get it either, too deep for me. Speaking of too deep, Tully apparently got a little too deep this morning while digging in his ass, just after taking a nice shit mind you, and on his finger was some liquidy substance. Unfortunately it wasn’t shit like we all had hoped, but blood is pretty fucking Red Dragons I’d say and that’s what was on Tully’s finger when he pulled back. After a thorough review, he determined the blood was in fact not from his deuce in the commode, but rather from his ass cheek. And thus begins today’s show, what is bleeding on Tully’s ass, call 855-355-4741 now and give us your thoughts. But please spare me the immediate need to rush to the hospital as it is both necessary and obvi! Let’s just focus on the potential para-rectal cyst lying deep in his ass tissue. Did you know this same scenario happened to Rawdog recently, but turned out he just ate some Doritos, DING! Thankfully Rude Jude stopped by to help us get off Tully’s ass, and focus on the real matter at hand….washing your hands. As Jude puts it, wash your hands so you don’t pass second hand dick – Good shit Jude! Jude taught us all about black hair care and what a weave cap is. He also said Lord Sears is working hard on staying awake, making it most of the show yesterday which also included Adam Carolla. “A Tree doesn’t get mad if you call it a bush. It knows its a tree!” – Rude Jude. Not sure how to transition from that to chics leaving snail trails and being proud of it, but it happens and I’m sure it somewhere on Vine. Of course, thats not to be confused with your Happy Trail, or Treasure Trail, or finally Hairway to Heaven!
Remember yesterday’s World’s Greatest Wednesday, well today’s just as good to finish it up. It was to find out who or what is, the World’s Greatest Way to humiliate a snail down in Flo-Rida. Yeah so we just went through all the nominees:
Rawdog betray the snails for a bagel and crucify them
Make snails have gay sex and make fun of them
Cook snails in beer and feed them to other snails
Make them listen to Accidental Racist (Don’t click it)
Beat the snails with Ellis’s PETA award
Put Offspring and Jeff Hardy stickers on their shells
Send them into space on balloons with Death!Death!Die! stickers for promotional purposes
Cum on a snail
Make them drunk driving monster trucks
Use a potato gun to shoot snails at other snails
Have Rawdog posterize dunk on a snail
Make the snails preform parkour
Make the snails preform the Mega Ramp
Surround them with a ring of salt, and a ring of beer outside of that
Spray them with Axe body spray, when their about the get laid, set them on fire
Drag them behind trucks
Dress them as the Statue of Liberty and make them spin signs on the street corner
Give the snails all white boy cornrows
(And some late additions to yesterday’s list, which by the way has a few removed that Ellis ditched prior to voting)…….
Put snails on Jiffy Pop and put them in the microwave
Tie Snails to both ends of a battery and make them touch to get zapped
Pull the snail’s dick out and pour salt on it, the “Salt Peter”
So that’s the list, can’t really do shit about it now but so you knew who or what was even available. Oh, and Rawdog only smoked like 3 or 4 times in college.
Hollywood News bitches, and what other bitch but Kim Kardashian to start us off with her divorce of Kris Humphries and how it may be finally happening. Remember the dude Finch from American Pie, the one that banged Stifler’s mom, yeah well some one night stand didn’t want to leave last night, and well check this shit out! Serena Williams was strutting that ass in Miami and DAMN! Adele turned down a million bucks cause she still got more life to live, for real for real. Did you know Jennifer Aniston has been cupping, or better yet do you even know what the fuck that means? If oyu answered No, fuck yeah homie! Well Gwyneth Paltrow used to do it, and Tully hates that bitch, so you should too – remember that’s fuck Gwyneth Paltrow kids! Jaden Smith says that Obama told him Aliens were true. And thus concludes today’s Hollywood News, so now just back to how German dudes thought black dudes coudln’t beat them in sports until Jessie Owens and Joe Lewis kinda fucked all that up for them. From there it was Jackie Robinson and white dudes figured out that when the monies on the line, always listen to Wesley Snipes. Did you know that Michael Jackson stole the moonwalk from some dude who was a Solid Gold Dancer? Did you give a shit that Fergie is trying to vogue or some shit? No you didn’t, but I bet you do give a shit about this two on two MMA fighting over in Russia! Dom, fuck my bad, Lil’ Bane was out and about the streets of Hollywood yesterday allegedly saying Justin Bieber had been killed by Nazi’s for his Anne Frank comments the other day. Since Lil’ Bane produces The Jason Ellis Show, he had a tape record on him, and we all got to listen to people’s reactions. People such as some old lady who swallowed the microphone and some dude who already knew about it before Lil’ Bane told him. Batman actually spoke and gave his regards to Beiber’s mom. Finally some Australian dude was propsitioned mon, “Fuck the Cunt, I shoulda killed him”. He’s getting better folks, hell of a job Dom!
News from a Dolphin, my favorite shit might I add, about some lady who cut off her husband’s dick cause he was fucking an old girlfriend or some shit. But enough of that, lets get down to some real business. All show Ellis n Tully sprinkled in some shots at Rawdog about basketball and getting a game together. Well it will be sometime tomorrow morning, with Rawdog trying to make 3 out of 10 layups, and also a two on two game between Ellis N Tully verse Will and Dom. Unfortunately tickets aren’t for sale, but how fucking sweet would it be to see this. Just make sure to listen tomorrow for what happens. Kinda like yesterday, when you had to tune in tomorrow which is today, to find out who or what is the World’s Greatest way to humiliate a snail. Well folks, here’s your top ten:
10 – Put Offspring and Ed Hardy stickers on the snail’s shells
9 – Beat snails with Ellis’s PETA award
8 – Send snails into space with balloons to promote Death! Death! Die!
7 – Make snail parkour videos
6 – Dress the snails as The Statue Of Liberty and make them spin signs on a street corner
5 – Pull the snail’s dick out and our salt on it
4 – Put them inside a circle of salt, surrounded by a circle of beer
3 – Spray them with Axe body spray, and as they’re about the get fucked, set them on fire
2 – Have Rawdog betray the snail’s for some bagels, and crucify them
1 – Have Rawdog posterize them
Hey don’t look at me, you fuckers voted on this shit. Seems pretty accurate to me though, cause having The Illusionist dunk over you and see it on your bedroom wall is some fucked up shit. But no where as fucked up as the last episode of Suck My Dick with Will and Lil’ Bane, where Thunderballs and I took turns cupping your grandma’s ass while we moon walked all over her pussay, OH!