Show Re-cap for Friday 4/5/2013

Happy BallsMy balls are awesome, they’re beautiful, they’re happy, and my balls are always bouncing
to the left and to the right, it’s my belief that my big balls should be held every night. Will loves the show like a child he hates who shits all over everything. Which pretty much means that given the chance, Will would drive all of us into a lake with the doors and windows locked because he loves us so very much. Rawdogs hair is getting better, Jason and Tully decided that it needs to be messy on purpose but not messy because he’s a fucking slob. If he does that then it will be garunteed that he’ll get laid. That or just do seven minutes on Ridiculousness, bitches love Ridiculousness. Speaking of Rawdog on TV, he wants to be on it but not do TV stuff. This brought up the discussion of TJES having its own television show. It wouldn’t just be  aTV version of the radio show like Howard does because that shits been done to death. It would be more of a skit/radio show/whatever the fuck they want show. Most of this time was being used to think of bits to do. And don’t forget to go to Cuteness.com and vote for Ellis and Burger in their cutest celebrity pet contest. (Click the link, trust me)

In Pot News, for the first time ever the majority of Americans think pot should be legal. Also in related news, umm, wait, what was I talking about. I feel like having some nachos. Tully brought back the Men Am I Right segment and a farmer misspelled his girlfriends name,shark stupid man when he cut a marriage proposal into his crops. A man reported an explosion in his home, he wanted to have a nice relaxing hot have so naturally he heated up his can of shaving cream on the stove. A man shot his girlfriend, kinda. She was preheating his oven and she didn’t know that’s where he stored the clip and bullets to his .45. I still blame the woman for that one, she should know that a dude isn’t going to use the stove for cooking, stupid girl. Then some super gross dude made a bar book where all the recipes includes semen. In the UK a man was driving erratically and then he was pulled over, not for drinking or anything like that, but for rockin the drum and bass. The dude was rocking out so hard that he was in the zone! And the winner of today’s segment is a man who was arrested for the 50th time, but this time he was arrested for stealing booze and giving away shots to people in the park.

Benji+MaddenBestie McBestington, aka Benji Madden came into the Swinghouse today. Apparently his recording session was delayed so he graced us with his presence. They talked about how much they respect and appreciate women, baking, motivation in the workplace, and the satisfaction of a job well done. Benji also talked about being the old guy in music production and how its hard to realize that all this stupid new stuff is kinda the same stupid new stuff that we liked when we were young. Then they talked about being on reality TV but he would only be on for music related stuff like The Voice. Benjis brother Joel is nominated for a loogie in Australia for his work on Australias The Voice TV show. And that’s all I have to say about that.

On to the Blowgies! A super gay competition with some super not gay contenders. The object of this competion is for two guys to give the most seductive, most loving, and most sexy blowjob to the big dicked rollerblader that they can while being judged by Foxxy (@Foxxy702), Eva Lovia (@MissEvaLovia), and Alice March (@alicemarchxxx). Long time listener, Fuck You Dude was the first contender and after slobbing knob like a seasoned veteran he got an impressive score of 20 out of 30. Perry was up next, it was expected that he wouldn’t be able to compete with FYD’s incredible fellatio skills but with some dick to face slapping and remembering to work the balls he came out with an amazing score of 25 out of 30! In the end Perry left with the title of best straight guy blow job on a mannequin dick.

“If she’s not winning watches then she’s not doing it right!” – A porn star

Wesley Snipes is back in society to continue his battle against vampires and space ship hijacking replicants. Something about Halle Berry. The Game ate at some restaurant and tweeted that he tipped the waiter six grand but lied. Busta Rhymes got into a fight over a cheeseburger. Titty. Joel Madden has great new hair cut. It’s rumored that Will and Jayda Pinkett Smith have an open marriage, but she said no and then said Will can do whatever he wants, like a boss. Snoop Lions record is coming out, in case you need something to waste your money on and burning it has become boring. Unsigned bands will be back next week. If you want you band to be shit on just send an MP3 to Ellisparodies@gmail.comIMG_9237

Final Calls were with only Ellis, everybody bailed to go find some hookers and coke for the weekend. Here are some of the things we learned during Final Calls today. When you walk in on your boss jackin his dick, leave and pretend nothing happened. Ellis is going to Nuculear Cowboys on Saturday, but if you see him and his kids don’t say fuck, shit, pussy, ass, cock, damn, piss, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits, or hell yeah in front of Ellis’s kids. If your a pill head that can’t poop try snorting Metamucil, that shit will get your shit flowing fo-sho! A grown ass man should be able to piss all over his room if he wants. Ellismania on hold for now while Ellis gets things reorganized and calmed down. He wants to make sure everything is done right and the only way to do that is to do it himself. And the last thing we learned today is that the best way to get over a girl is to get under a new one. Unless the new girl is yer mum, never ever ever get under yer mum, it’s like the Bermuda Triangle of flesh and tits and hair, OH!

Best of Re-Cap for Friday 3/22/2013

Well hello boys n girls. Its your uncle Ghostload speaking, and if you can read this, dude get a fucking life.  Speaking of getting a life, your mom is and old school tool from before I could drool.  Bitch be so dumb, sticks n stones be insulting her, OH!  Nah but seriously, we here at the No You Are clinic do care a great deal about your mom…’s snatch and ass hole, plus she could suck the rust of an ’83 El Camino that’s been in the back yard since ’84, cause she did!  Well I don’t know about you, but I personally have a strong interest in your mom, I mean besides the fact bitch better have my money, she’s also your mom, and I like you!  I was doing a little research into your mom, no not “In to” your mom, not this time – No I mean real research and I noticed a bit of a downward spiral in her life since we first commented on her back in  January of 2012.  Hell just think that was just over a year ago, and to think where she is now, in fact if you know where she is, hit me on twitter @wiz1010 cause like I said, Bitch Better Have My Money!  Anyways, here’s a month by month breakdown on just how far the bitch, i mean your mom the bitch, has fallen – Enjoy……….

 

Monday, January 23, 2012 As I mentioned above, this is the first time your mom was mentioned, and at her height I might add, hob slob-knobbing with former Passenger 57 mega-super-broke-star what’s his name.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012 If we were charting this in graph format, not only would we be a bunch of fucking nerds, but the curve would be on the upward.  Today may be the greatest day of your mom’s life.  Today is not only Chad Reed day, well really yeah its just Chad Reed day!

Probably Your Mom's Best Feature - Her Lovely Hair

Probably Your Mom’s Best Feature – Her Lovely Hair

Friday, March 16, 2012 Ah yes, your mom is still fresh on the scene, appearing with none other than Die Antwoord cause yes, I fink your mom freaky!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012 Ok, so remember the graph, yeah were on the “downward slope” as they call it, well they also call it that cause when you go in your mom’s vage you immediately fall downward into the pussy, hence the term!  Anyways today was the gruesome story of the day your mom started hooking, shocking but true!

Ain’t she a beauty! Though I admit I like her hair longer.

Wednesday, March 30, 2012 Ok now she’s just a fucking bitch, I mean using the SiriusXM phone app is hard enough with it fucking sucking balls n all, but now we find out the truth about the Sirius phone app and your mom – stupid cunt whore oh and your mom is a moronic jizz cunt!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012 John in Houston, we have lift off!  Your mom and the extinction of big foot?  You’d better start keeping your eyes out and your cocks covered from here on out kids!

Look at those tig ol bitties right there boy! DAMN!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012 Now your mom hates the gays.  Today, sadly enough was the day we had “The bet between evil Chick-fil-a and your even more eviler mom” dun dun dun!!!

Thursday, August 30, 2012 Now look, I’m not a fan of beating up your mom.  Its only cause she’s into the shit really that I do it.  I’d rather drop a deuce on her chest, return serve, and fucking roll the fuck out aids free!  But to be fair, here is a reminder of what she used to be just a few months ago and probably my favorite, this is where Christopher Walken got his style from.

Ok so the gunt can kinda get in the way – I just hit it from the back!

Friday, September 21, 2012 Now I know this one’s kinda confusing, you hear “Bit’s amazing day with your mom” and you think shit’s sweet right.  Dude it’s fucking bit with your mom, shit ain’t that sweet right about now homie.  The good news though, this one’s got some really sweet fucking pics, of batman and the joker crush’n’grooven and your mom (See the last one)

Wednesday, October 31, 2012  Well, well, well.  It’s like I caught you in the cookie jar, pun intended!  By now in the month by month recap of your mom’s past year or so, she’s just flat out of control, I mean all of #EllisFam?

See, much better....well not better, lesser of two evils really.

See, much better….well not better, lesser of two evils really. Oh and thats the self-portrait tattoo AZ_RedDragon gave her with his load and a match, not bad bro!

Monday, November 26, 2012 Well if you fuck all of Ellis Fam, then who’s left?  Yeah we saw it coming just sad it happened during the holidays. Things are really getting bad for your mom when turning tricks ain’t even cutting it no mo’.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012 It’s cold, money’s tight, and we at No You Are don’t fucking care about your mom.  Sure we could buy her dinner, or maybe hold her hand, but nah! Now we just fuck her for sport……as if we ever didn’t.  Some things never change!

This is her vagina.  I remember this guy, we found him in there one day after shoving bottles of 151 in there after hearing the Slash interview....this guy was fucking drunk of his balls!

This is her vagina. I remember this guy, we found him in there one day after shoving bottles of 151 in there after hearing the Slash interview….this guy was fucking drunk of his balls!

Thursday, January 24, 2013 Ok this is one of those pivotal points in your mom’s life, well kinda the opposite as she’s lost all ability to pivot on your dick anymore which made her one of the nation’s top 5,000 hookers in the  40 and above division.  Now its just a matter of survival when fucking your mom, thanks to Rawdog though maybe we can make it out alive!

Friday, February 22, 2013 OK, that it, I’m never fucking that bitch again…Cumtard‘s fucking her.  Ghostload out!

I do usually leave when she asks for a foot rub.  FUCK THAT!

I do usually leave when she asks for a foot rub. FUCK THAT!