Welcome To The Pendarvis Grill & Pub!

marlboro_soup

Home style cooking!

So obviously there was no show today. And what happens when we’re all bored because our favorite radio show isn’t live? We find a way to stave off boredom, that’s what we do. So I decided it was time to play a game called #PendarvisAndSides The premise? Wll has died and said we could eat him, so people pitched in ideas for ways to eat Will and the sides that could go along with Will. Like a massive Thanksgiving feast with all sorts of food, anything and everything went. This gave me the idea, with all this food, we needed a menu so people could easily choose what they wanted. Thus, the Pendarvis Grill & Pub was spawned. Thanks to everyone who participated, we now have a menu! Let’s check it out.
* Nutrition chart unavailable.


中 Our Menu 中

Lil’ Will Smokies
Will’s fingers & toes smoked until tender and then lightly cooked in a sweet glaze, served with a mixed fruit and Will eye / testicle salad, topped with crushed pecans and cigarette ashes.

Crispy Wills
Will skin chips, lightly salted, with his ball cheese, sweat, & salsa for dipping

Waistline Will
A small portion of baked, boneless, and skinless Will on a bed of rice pilaf and served with green beans almondine.

Pendarvis BLT
Will bacon cooked to perfection with a hint of maple and Marlboro, lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise, served with sweet potato fries.

Pulled Pendarvis
Slow smoked (in tobacco), hand pulled Will sandwich with chipotle mayonnaise and pickle slices, served with baked beans and cantaloupe.

Slick Willy
Pendarvis confit served with deviled eggs and a pack of your choice from Philip Morris.

Southern Pendarvis
Thick slices of Pendarvis roast served with candied yams and collard greens.

Will Medallions
Will medallions smothered in gravy and topped with melted provolone cheese, served with potatoes au gratin.

Tender Pendar
Fresh cuts of Will dry rubbed and slow smoked for 24 hours, served with mashed potatoes and corn on the cob.

Welfare Will
A generous portion of mac-n-cheese with sliced pieces of all beef Will, served with a deep fried Twinkie.

Rack O’ Pendarvis
A half rack of Pendarvis spare ribs, served with coleslaw and cornbread.

Pendarvis Panini
Tender pieces of Will with an assortment of fresh peppers, onions, melted cheese, and a shiny shin salad.

Alabama Fried Will
Breaded & fried Will breasts, served with mashed potatoes & gravy and a biscuit.

Heil Pendarvis
Willwurst with sour kraut, served on a lightly toasted bun with a dab of spicy mustard.

Smoked Pendarvis
Tender, slow smoked cut of Will meat, served with coleslaw and beans.

Yippee Ki Willay Burger
Will burger cooked to perfection, topped with onion strings, and with your choice of cheese, and condiments, served with onion rings.

Sweet Home Alabama, Will’s Bad Mama Jama
Deep fried Pendarvis shins with crispy onions and home fries.

Pendarvis Plantation Special
Smoked Will hocks served with collard greens.

Fancy Pants Pendarvis
Bacon wrapped 6 or 9 ounce filet of Will, served with roasted garlic mashed potatoes and grilled asparagus.

Hairless Sir Pendarvis
A tender cut of Will sirloin steak, served with chemotherapy.

Sign Your Will
Our famous PenChowder.

Ballpark Pendarvis
Smokey Will dogs topped with crumbled bacon bits, served with potato salad.

Handy Willy
Will’s meaty hands fried to perfection in his own belly fat and served with gravy.

Rise ‘N Regret
Eggs Willy cooked to order, served with hashbrowns, bacon, champaign and orange juice, and a lifetime of regret.

Struck Match
Your choice of Pendarvis and waffles or Pendarvis scrapple with eggs, topped with ketchup and tobacco spit.

中 Desserts 中

Deep fried Twinkie, pecan pie, bread pudding, and cupcakes with brown frosting.

中 Beverages 中

Pepto-Bismol, Iced Tea, Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew, and Mountain Dew.


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Try our hair pies! Contains 100% fruit and Pendarvis pubic hair!

Thanks to: @TwistedMetalFab, @shit_toboggan, @emilyinSD, @eastcoasttully, @Cody_McCraw92, @sharkchucker, @mike_in_canada, @J_Chappel, @Truk_Norris, @Scarlet_Kitty, @willfromcowtown, @thegooser, @mighty_boognish, @CrackerStacker6, and of course me, @bitPimps, because I’m an attention whore!

EllisFam Interviews

I have asked for the EllisFam to do a small 8 question interview so that we may get to know one another and how The Jason Ellis Show has changed or impacted our lives. These are their reply’s, unedited and all in their own words. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do, and thank you to everyone who participated. Without you all this wouldn’t be possible.

Tara O’Blanc (@TaraIsSmiling)

A brief look into how all of you crazy motherfuckers came into my life and made me spend money to fly to Las Vegas, NV just to hug the fuck out of some of you….

  1. Where do you live? I live in the dirty, dirty South. Louisiana. Born and raised. The culture, the hospitality and the food keep me here. Moved once. Hated it. Came right back. Minus a husband. We’ll get to that.
  2. What is your occupation? I am the Sales Assistant for a company that manufactures and distributes water and wastewater treatment chemicals all over the state. I’ve been back here a year. Worked here a total of four. Love the people, love my job but I’d rather get paid to spend time with my kids, my man or party.
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. As above mentioned, I had once upon a time moved to Houston, TX with my ex-husband, he didn’t treat me very well to say the least, I wanted to come home and he didn’t want to follow. So with that I packed up myself, my kids and the few belongings I chose to keep and moved home, scared shitless and broken without a leg to stand on. During that time I had reached the lowest point of my life and made some extremely poor decisions. Drugs, alcohol, thoughts of ending it all. Completely lost.
  4. How did you discover TJES? On the way home from our first business conference, Shannon and I were listening to the show and I was cracking up laughing. I knew nothing of Jason or the show or Ellisfam. She gave me a brief rundown and history and shortly thereafter she convinced me to join Twitter to fill up my time at work because I was “working too fast”. So that’s what I did.
  5. How long have you listened to TJES? A year later, these incredible people that I’ve come to know have pulled me from the depths and helped save me more and more every day.
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? Each of us have our own trials and tribulations and seeing some of the things that some of you have risen above, inspires me more and more to be the best version of myself.
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? You have all taken me into the family with open, loving arms and sent me words of encouragement and strength daily. You guys have reached out to me when I felt like I had no one else in the world. Closer a family than my blood. For that I can never thank any of you enough. Hell, I even fell in love with one of you crazy ass people. I hope that I can be there for all of you the way you have been there for me.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? I don’t get to listen to the show as often as I would like but when I do…I laugh my ass off. I realize that we’re all the same. I look forward to spending next weekend in Vegas at EllisMania and I hope it’s only the beginning of years of annual debauchery for myself! See you fuckers there!
    Much Love! Tara is INDEED smiling!
John Flath (@TwistedMetalFab)

 

  1. Where do you live? The Beautiful(?) Garden State New Jersey, near Philadelphia.
  2. What is your occupation? I am a welder/fabrication for Big Bill’s Truck Shop in Deptford NJ. I also own and run Twisted Metal Fabrications also in Deptford NJ. Where I build and repair race cars and race components.
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. I am a 40 year old divorced Dad of the most awesome 12 y/o daughter on the planet(biased opinion of course). I am a huge MMA (read  fanatic), Football,Hockey and Baseball fan. I have been a welder for over 25 years and have a degree in Mechanical Engineering from Rutgers University(Go Knights!). Until recently I ran my own business where I built not only race cars, but custom motorcycles,cars and trucks. Even the occasional hot rod cop car or 2 LOL. My work have been featured in magazines,TV,and a music video or 2. I am currently finishing a hand built motorcycle for a local charity to raffle off to raise funds for their efforts. That was the good, but with good comes bad. I was the victim of abuse and molestation by members of my family throughout my childhood. I spent 18 months in prison when I was 21 for tearing a guys ear off in a bar fight. I have been a drug abuser, and had a heroin and meth addiction . I have attempted suicide over 15 times. While most of these issues were in my youth,(I am clean for 15 years) I still deal with daily the residual effects of the wreckage that is my past.
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? For around 5 years now.
  5. How did you discover TJES? I bought a Dodge Ram that had Sirius in it, I loved the mix of music played on Faction. I would hear Ellis on tony Hawk’s show.
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? First and foremost, its the fact anything can happen at anytime. Nothing is scheduled or scripted. Makes for real moments. I identify closely with the show crew on various levels.
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? It has on several occasions. Its made me feel like I am not alone in dealing with issues. Its also taught me #HTFU is not just a slogan.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? #EllisFam, TRUE #EllisFam are the most amazing people on earth.

If you would like to be apart of the EllisFam Interviews, please contact me (@Az_RedDragon) through twitter and I will send the interview to you.


The Many Nicknames of Joshua Adam Richmond

What speech impediment?

Josh has so many nicknames, I feel like sometimes people may not know exactly who we’re talking about when we refer to him by different nicknames. So here’s a list of past, current, and possible future nicknames for the guy we all tease, but all love:

  • Rawdog / RawDizzle
  • Tussin Wolf
  • JägerBeard (Alter ego)
  • Bush Baby
  • Trust Fund Boy / Baby
  • ManBoy
  • Thunder Bird
  • Thumb Fucker
  • Chill Cock
  • The Illusionist
  • The Eliminator / MC Elimination
  • Knight Dog
  • Cujo
  • CordRoy
  • Jack Nippleson
  • Rumble McTumble / Rumble McTumbleBum / Rumble Tumble
  • Loadcamotion
  • Cum Barnacle
  • Radio Gold
  • Koala Joe (One off)
  • Jessica (If he was born a girl, his parents had chose that name)
  • Santa Claus (Alter ego)
  • Mel Gibson (Alter ego)
  • MachoMan (Alter ego)
  • Suge Knight (Alter ego)
  • Sara / Sarah / Samantha (Alter ego)
  • Rawdogalypse (One off)
  • Doc Banger (Alter ego)
  • GodWar (Alter ego)
  • MMGay Analyst (New possible nickname)
  • One Rubber Stunner (New possible nickname)
  • The Alienator (New possible nickname)

There are more nicknames that I can’t remember right now, most of them are not used and were very temporary. If you happen to remember any, post them in the comments. Don’t forget that the @Jingleberries have made numerous classic songs dedicated to our infamous friend!

Update: Thanks to @bwstranger, @CobraTits, @CptnSparky , @emilyInSD, @Lugoman34, @mike_in_canada@murray_terry, @MyMathGarcia and @TwistedMetalFab for the help, reminders, and suggestions!

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Role Call, Introduce Yourself: Part 1

So, I asked people who follow me on Twitter to introduce themselves with this tweet: Taking roll call. Raise your hand & I’ll call on you. Introduce and say a little something about yourself.

And here are the responses:

@itswillbitches Hi! My name is Will and I think trains are cool and I always stop what I’m doing to watch them go by.

@AZ_RedDragon My name is Jason and I’m always late to places so everyone will look at me when I come in. Hi.

@Cassieleeisme My name is Cassandra and I wear high heels to concerts to tower over short people (6’2 in heels).

@KimDultz Oops, I’m slow, but not slow enough to ride the short bus, just slow enough to be an artist. My name is Kim, or Kimmy D, mthrfcker

@TwistedMetalFab Hello, my name is John. And I would like to take Cassandra to a concert. (I’m 6’5″)

@RedJammieGirl Hi everyone!!! I’m Michelle and @KimDultz is my partner in crime. We love to eat cookies!

And there you go, six people. For those of you that turned up, I thank and salute you. I guess Thursday evening isn’t the best time to do a #RollCall and that has been duly noted. So, if you were disappointed in the turnout, I’m going to post a few videos you comedy / cooking / sex craving deviants might enjoy. Continue reading