Show Re-cap For Monday 1/28/2013

Will Rawdog have a similar conversation one day in the future?

Will Rawdog have a similar conversation one day in the future?

Welcome, are you ready to fucking fuck? How about just find out what the fuck went on with the show today? Okay, cool. You think you’re tough? Like shark tough? Well wrap your gills around this shit, a killer whale will come up from under your shark ass without you knowing it and ram your shit, and you will explode! So you ain’t so tough. Remember that fucking shit, fuck. Rawdog’s wearing a shirt with a tiger on it today but says he’s a lion, even though when he goes home, he puts on his Burger King crown. Sounds like Ellis’ head tattoo guy isn’t calling him back, so the bear head, head tattoo might already be history. A drunk Dingo opened up to Cullen at the X-Games about that new announcer chick, Ramona Bruland. I don’t know exactly what was said, I’m not sure he knows either – but the gist was that he thinks X-Games fucked up by replacing Sal Masekela with that chick, and saying it makes everyone look bad. Josh Hansen called in, so naturally, talk instantly turned to moto and how he got ejected from Supercross and how they want him to pay a $4,000 fine for taking some dude out in a turn.

Mr. Easter Bunny likes that crack rock too!

Mr. Easter Bunny likes that crack rock too!

Exciting news for Rawdog, he will be going back out with that new chick he recently met online and jacked off to last week! He also signed up for some sketch comedy classes over the weekend and is still hitting the gym as well, so things are looking up for his Jewish ass! Go get ’em tiger lion! Dave Mirra called into the show all excited, Ellis had to hush him up real quick and told him not to talk about anything they’ve recently been texting each other about. Could this mean a possible Mirra presence at another upcoming EllisMania? If you’re on that crack, cocaine, or a crack cocaine cookie, you ain’t hiding that shit from nobody – no matter how good of a lie you think up. Have you been wondering how to make crack? Maybe you’re having guests over for a dinner party and are looking to impress them with your cooking skills? Well good news, you can listen to E-40 – The Recipe to find out how!

Why shouldn't get Rawdog get a tattoo that says "I love my sister"?

Why shouldn’t Rawdog get a tattoo that says “I love my sister”?

Rawdog lost his bet over the weekend concerning the UFC, now he has to get a tattoo while he and Grant Cobb are both wearing shock collars, or eat salad for an entire week. You know he’s not going to be eating just salads for an entire week, so time to start brainstorming tattoo ideas for Rawdog! It was at this point that I missed the next 45 minutes or so of the show and have no idea what went on. I came back in with Rawdog and Tully reading what I assume was Hollywood news and then they went to break with some Michael Jackson. Sweet news for you Soundgarden / Ellis fans, the new video for “By Crooked Steps” by Soundgarden, featuring Ellis & Katie, and directed by Dave Grohl, is out today. Even though Ellis didn’t get paid in money to appear in the video, apparently Dave had asked Ellis when he wanted him to go on the show! Brand new game today, “Win Kevin Kraft’s Money” which is odd because that dude has about as much money as that homeless guy that sleeps under the bridge. His whole $11 is on the line here, if you can guess the correct answers to the questions, you can really put Cumtard in the poor house. Perhaps not so surprisingly, the callers didn’t know their ass from a hole in the ground so the guys had to resort to cheating to get people to win Cumtard’s money. Hopefully next week, we’ll have a “Win Will Pendarvis’s Money” game where the tables will be turned.

Overly attached listener's can be scary. Trust me, I am one.

Overly attached listener’s can be scary. Trust me, I am one.

There’s a website that Dingo frequents quite often, it shows registered molesters that are living in your area. It’s weird too, because those red dots just seem to keep following Dingo around, no matter where he moves. HA! (see what I’m insinuating there) There was a dirty cock sock smell in the studio that everyone but Rawdog could smell. That might lead you to believe it was Rawdog that was stanking, but remember this too – Dingo just left your little sister’s house and socks come in handy when you’re tying down the unwilling. OH SNAP! (Ooops I did it again) Some dude called in to get permission to name his bulldog after Tully. I didn’t even know that was something that needed to be asked? Some chick called in about indecent exposure and distributing drugs, but nobody really took her seriously because, well, she’s a woman. BA-ZING! And then a copper from Oklahoma called about humping on kids, said it was pretty cool (no he didn’t) and that people are given different levels. You start off as a novice and can work your way up to Phil Donahue status, which is considered the highest level of wizard. And with that, we end the re-cap with your dad, the ultimate kid toucher, the ding-a-ling put to his mouth and sing cowboy, Phil Donahue. OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 12/18/2012

You gonna masturbate with that bleeding cock or what?

You gonna masturbate with that bleeding cock or what?

HOLY SHIT Y’ALL! WHO FARTED? Hahahahaaa! Man, I’m a killer. Anyways, let’s all just calm the fuck down for a second here and remember, it’s Tuesday, and we’ll never forget! At least until Friday, actually, maybe tomorrow, I promise. Have you ever thought you were gonna die? Terrifying wasn’t it? Yea, you betchya. Ellis was in a Soundgarden video this morning, doing things and stuff. He also smashed his head and it left a mark. Turns out it was from a dildo – that’s right, a dildo related injury to the dome is how you know your life is headed in the right direction. Rawdog had a sex related injury once, his girlfriend got on top of him the wrong way and I assume he got that weird boner pop that don’t feel too good. Some MMA fighter broke his dick too, poor motherfucker had to get dick stitches too. Cumtard, the rolling rave machine, squeezed his dick so hard to stop himself from pissing that he pinched the tip of his off. Who scalps their own dick? Queue the callers, all with dick injury pecker wrecker stories, and if you’re a male listener, you spent the majority of the time cringing. Maybe today should be exploding dick awareness day? 12/18/2012 Never forget!

A wreath of Franklins...get it?

Speaking of celebrities… A wreath of Franklins…get it?

Instagram terms of service has changed and everyone is going ape shit. Basically, they can use your username and photos, sell that shit and give you no duckettes in return. This isn’t anything new among the larger social media websites, Facebook, Four Square, etc. all have terms of service that are very similar, your shit is not private, if you want full privacy, don’t upload content to social media websites. Or, you can just do whatever Pink decides you should do. Some dude that hacked Scarlett Johansson’s phone and leaked nude photos of her got 10 years in the clink. “Flocka Claus” is a thing on Twitter. Donald Trump won a $5 million dollar judgement against an ex-Miss USA contestant. Charlie Sheen donated like $75k to some girl with cancer, so Stevie Wonder donated $100k and then sang to her, just to fuck with Sheen. Tom Cruise has specified zones for his house staff, they can’t just go walking all willy nilly through his crib. They also had to pass a bunch of tests and shit, which isn’t crazy at all, nope, not at all. Lindsay Lohan has asked friends to start sending letters to a judge in an effort to make her look not so fucking stupid. Cameron Douglas, son of Michael Douglas, got his leg broke on a $100 bounty or some shit while serving time in the slammer for dealing meth and shit.

Last minute gift ideas for mom or Rawdog? We got you covered!

Last minute gift ideas for mom or Rawdog? We got you covered!

Moscow’s own super racist, anti-gay soccer fans want an all white, non-gay team to represent their community, and they also say they are not racist. New video today of Doing Stuff with Rawdog, where he tries to do an ollie on a skateboard, you can go see that tomfoolery on EllisMania.com if you want. NMT year’s end round-up version today, being that this is the last Tuesday in this year of our Lord Wolfknives 2012. There’s also a new blog where Rawdog will be posting NMT playlists and writing other things for about a month or so before he gets bored with it and moves on to something else. To be honest, even though this was one of the shittiest years in music, it was also the best NMT we’ve heard in awhile. I think mainly because I’ve heard most of the songs on today’s list, or maybe it’s because we got to hear the guys’ and friends of the show favorite songs from 2012. Things got so exciting that Burger Ellis pissed on Big Daddy Jayce Cake’s jacket! Consider it payback for the broken leg. Fuck it, I’m done. Great news! Your mom won the “Classiest Lady In The Hood 2012” award when I overheard her say, “What’s the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can’t gargle with sand.” OH!