2013

Posted on November 27, 2013 by bitPimps 中

Rawdog’s still not there. Talk about changing the show intro. I can see you’re deep in thought.

Welcome to the thing. The last show & recap for this week, right before the Thanksgiving holidays coma for us Americans. Before getting into the show, let’s go ahead and quickly address what’s on everyone’s mind. No, Rawdog is not there today. Yesterday, a caller asked where he’s been and Ellis just said he wanted to take some time off and that’s all he knows. Then today, a caller asked where he’s been and Ellis said he’s taken a leave of absence and may never be back. As the show intro was playing, apparently Ellis also said they have to get a new intro and that they should change it anyway. What does all that mean? I don’t know, read into that what you will. But it isn’t looking good. Moving on, Shoebox is in studio today. Ellis was gonna go to the gym today, but he had a vibe and went with it, so he went to the beach instead. While he and Katie and Burger were there, some random people were taking pictures of them. Ellis wants a little bit of side burns tattoo, not mutton chops a la Danzig or anything, but just a touch of knife burns.

Whose gonna blow me? Anyone? Anyone?

Hey stalkers! Wilson revealed that he and Christian live about a block from each other, so get your stalker maps out, make sure you have the proper tools, and you might want to look at a larger kill room. Everyone thinks Wilson is from Germany, some people yell things at him, other’s give him a nod & a wink, and superhero’s look at him in awe. Four years ago the police busted Chewbacca and Elmo in a drug ring in front of Mann’s Chinese Theater, some people got shot, and a woman tourist got stabbed for not giving some homeless, crazy fucker a dollar. So if you’ve been planning to take a vacation to Hollywood to hob nob with the stars, you might wanna think twice about that because you’re basically going to pay for a trip to see and smell piss and shit and crushed dreams and if you’re lucky, you’ll only get robbed and shot once instead of multiple times. According to Mr. Hand, there’s also a “boys town” part of Hollywood that’s well known for a gay scene and getting a blowjob in 45 seconds or less. Beats Dominoes I guess.

Just cuz I’m white doesn’t mean I can’t get down to some Bone Thugs.

Did you know beer is better for you than Coke? It sounds just ridiculous enough that I can believe it. High-fructose corn syrup was invented by Satan and it is in pretty much fucking everything you eat and drink and it’s gonna kill you, probably tomorrow. The guys talked about old school ads for cigarettes, where doctors were advocating a certain brand of cigarette over the other, you know, because they care about your health and not the loot lining their pockets. But enough with the doom and gloom, it’s time for Bone Thugs‐n‐Harmony to come serenade us with super quiet “I’m high as hell” inside voices. It was hard to hear some of the Bones because they were so quiet. It almost felt like I was a hot chick and they were trying to run game on me or something, all suave and shit. They talked about their upcoming show tonight, how tight they are, and how they’re so tight they don’t know who in their group is married and who isn’t. They don’t go around smackin’ people in the grill anymore because they don’t wanna get shot, which I say is wise life choice. But don’t get flip the script and get it all mixed up, if you step, they’ll squash beef and cave in teef. They just want them and their fans to go out and have a good time, they try to steer clear of drama, Unless you count the time one of them got shot in the head. Or the time one of them accidentally shot the other one. And not the time one of them got kidnapped as a child along with his 3 sisters and found by John Walsh from America’s Most Wanted. For sure not the time when a dead body got dropped off in front of one their homes. You know, it’s your typical wholesome story that could be part anyone’s childhood. All joking aside, it was a great interview and they had some interesting stories.

Breaking news time. Big Fucking Mega Boat is on iTunes now. Breaking, breaking news time. Big Fucking Mega Boat is also on Google Play Music and is already #1 in the Metal section. Breaking, breaking, breaking news time. Big Fucking Mega Boat is also on Amazon and is already a #1 seller in the Hard Rock & Metal section. You should go buy a copy like I did. All the cool kids are doing it, you wanna be one of the cool kids, right? Well, don’t come running to me when people start making fun of your music library for not having Big Fucking Mega Boat. Breaking, breaking, breaking, breaking news time. It’s time to pass out the 2013 Yoko’s in this year’s Reverse Awards! Here are your categories and your winners:

Sorry winners of a Yoko. This is the reverse awards.

Best Religion: Scientology
Best Jingleberries Member: Bryan “Backbone” Cullen
Smartest Intern of All-Time: Anal Gay-Lewis
Smallest Clitoris: Brock Lesnar
Best TJES Guest Ever: Method Man & Redman
Best Wolfknife Nickname: Urethra Butt Butt
Least Radioactive Jew: Rawdog
Most Profound Kid Rock Tweet: “I didn’t come here for a hard time, I came here for a good time.” – Kid Rock
Realest Animal: Rawdog’s Dad
Most Uncreepy Male Star: Corey Feldman
The Rising Star Award: Kevin Kraft
Lifetime Achievement Award: Jaden Smith
Most Welcome Comeback: Andy Dick
Most Deservingly Famous: George Zimmerman
“Clean and Sober Living” Award: Lindsay Lohan
Most Alive Celebrity: Larry King
Smallest Butthole: Sam Rubin
Woman of the Year: Paula Deen
Man of the Year: Chris Brown

Bless this post, and bless all of you. Bless us everyone!

And there you have it, folks. The Yoko’s pretty much wrapped up the show all neat and tidy. There were a few short final calls, oh, and a mention that either tomorrow or Friday, there will be something “special” on Faction, but that’s all that was said. I assume you’ll have an opportunity to hear old or best-of shows for most of the day or something like that. That’s my best guess anyway. So I guess I should wrap this up huh? Pop quiz hotshots! Why are there no Walmarts in Afghanistan? Because they become Targets. OH! Happy Skanksgiving to all my American trick ass bitches and gangsta-ass swingin’ dicks. Happy get up and go to work like normal to all my Canadian molettes and moles. And shout to all the girls I’ve loved before.

Show Re-Cap for Thursday 11/21/2013

Posted on November 21, 2013 by bitPimps 中

Check out my Instagram!

Welcome to another fun-filled Thursday from Crüe Town, but not actually. Ellis swears he feels cancer in his face and he’s threatening that face cancer with a doctor’s scalpel. He’ll have that shit cut out, a sweet face scar, and gold teef. Then he’ll be fresh to death and chillin like Gucci Mane (pronounced Mang) but way better and without an ice cream cone tattooed on his face. People are still catching flack over their Ugg boots, which are made out of the skin from a sheep’s asshole. In an odd reverse anti-Ugg boot debate, Twitch’s wife posted something on Instagram about Ugg sheep and some Ugg boot supporter reported her for it. God bless the Internet trolls with severe trolliosis. Cows, sheep, pigs, chickens, they’re all getting treated brutally – but god damn are they really useful and tasty. Some clothes made out of animals are more acceptable than others, such as gator skin underwear. That shit is sooo sexy. There’s some YouTuber’s making $1.4 million dollars (and more) a year just posting videos on YouTube. Ellis saw some chick that just makes videos of herself in room or whatever and she’s banking it, so now the question becomes, how the fuck can we get in on that shit and start making the kind of money where a point (.) doesn’t go before the cents part. The guys kicked around a few ideas on what they could film and post to YouTube to start making some bank, but the whole relationship between Ellis and Rawdog is what would work, but Rawdog doesn’t want to do anything that makes him the target of ridicule or anything that may be poking fun at him. That didn’t stop callers and fans coming up with some ideas the guys could potentially use on their quest for YouTube fame. In the end, it’ll probably never happen because Ellis wants it to be more like a scene from Silence of The Lambs where Rawdog is trapped in a well and Ellis screams at him to put lotion on his skin. Meanwhile, Rawdog wants it to be more like an episode of Laverne & Shirley.

Ellis talking to Rawdog

Some dude in Japan four backpacks and being the civil Japanese citizen he is, he turned that shit in and it was packed with $48 million dollars worth of cocaine. Tully desperately wants to go to Ricky Carmichael moto school (RCU), and Jason can only think about geography because it sounds cold where RCU is. But all Josh is worried about is if Ricky Carmichael is there. At his own school. Where he teaches people. At Ricky Carmichael University.

Ellis & Tully looking at Rawdog for not paying attention.

Ellis continued his geography lesson and did better than one might tend to think, but he also had a few hiccups where everything was Sacramento or Michigan. Apparently Snook was in full on normal kid mode today, she didn’t want to wear leggings because they’re itchy. Ellis was trying to reason with her, but she wasn’t having any of it, so he did what all us dad’s do. We tattle to mommy and let mommy play the bad guy. Except mommy never is the bad guy on anyone else’s part except her own, so just what would happen in my house, happened in Ellis’ house. The kid got what she wanted, because it’s just easier that way. This brought on a discussion about kids drinking coffee at really young ages and how crazy that is. I couldn’t imagine waking my daughter up for school, she’s tired, and I put out a few lines of cocaine next to her cereal bowl for the little pick-me-up she needs to start her day. Going back to pants for a minute, a caller named John cannot wear pants unless he absolutely has to and has freed himself of the tyranny of pants, and I say unto him, good on you sir! Keep fighting the good fight.

Rawdog loves pants. I mean he really, really loves pants.

Oxycotton John called up after the previous John, he’s going to get a new liver! The hospital called and said come on down, trade in your old liver and walk away with a new one! So shout out to him, we all hope you have a successful surgery and a speedy recovery, homeboy! Tully has never watched The Ultimate Fighter series, but he did last night and it completely sucked! Just kidding. Tully didn’t watch it, but not joking – it did completely suck because there were no fights, just more crying. Some people are backpedaling now about the GSP / Hendricks fight, now saying that GSP won due to the number of strikes, even though GSP’s face and Dana White totally disagree.

Celebrities can’t manage their finances. Boo hoo.

Aaron Carter just declared bankruptcy. Who is Aaron Carter you say? And I’ll tell you, don’t worry your pretty little head about it, trust me. You’re better off not knowing who he is. But real talk for a second. People be filing for bankruptcy like it’s going out style, am I right? You know I am. Wilson is out sick today, but since he never stops working, he sent in a story about an FCC proposal to allow cellphone usage during flights. Jetta came up with a game called “Guess the fetish” for the guys to play, oh and we learned that he’s a basketball stud. Maybe. We don’t know that for sure. It’s a little premature to assume he’s a basketball stud. Okay, just know he played basketball once. Anyway, Jetta went through the Internet searching for some fetishes and will quiz the guys to see if they can tell what the fetish is based on the scientific name. As you can imagine, there were a lot of fucked up “philias” and “isms” and I don’t have time to look all them up, but that can be a game you play yourself, go look them up and then try to masturbate to completion to any of them. If you finish, that might be your fetish.

There’s a new world’s tallest water slide being built and I think it’s supposed to be wedgie free. Ellis has a friend (possibly Moses Itkonen) in the studio who refuses to speak, and he’s not friends with Rawdog, you, me, or the Pope, just Ellis – so there. The show was looking for calls from police officers, but only for about 10 seconds. After that, Shoebox came in not bearing any gifts, but he promises he will bring them in tomorrow. What gifts? Hard copies of the new Death! Death! Die! album. So he got a bit of an ass chewing for being a big fat liar, liar, pants on fire – caught it on a telephone wire. Cats leave shit crystals all over the place, they’re pretty nasty. We ended up hearing from cops about cops that fuck citizens, fuck Crips, fuck other cops, and generally just fuck and stuff. Then more Uggs versus Peta versus sheep versus minx versus cows talk. Sounds like Joanna Angel wants to book D!D!D! to play at an after party after the AVN awards and Tully can go as long as he wears his chastity belt. Best. Gig. Ever. And that pretty wraps up this recap, the only thing left to do is leave you some words of wisdom – so I’ll quote my wife: “Quit being such a lazyass and do something!”

I drew you a picture!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 1/23/2013

Posted on January 23, 2013 by wiz1010

Fucking Yamaha, I knew it!

What else would The Wing wanna do on a Wednesday, but ride a bull and be a cowboy. Oh, and of course shout out to the man, the myth, the ledge Chad Reed…who’s currently in 3rd place overall, just ahead of TotoMotoPoto and Dungey. Of course its gotta be due to his sabotage tactics, reminiscent of the Cold War or any 80’s movie. He better have that shit handy if he ever faces Spider Man at next year’s A-1, that dudes got skills. Death! Death! Die! got skills too, and laid down a fresh track last night, didn’t get to hear it yet, but were all wet with anticipation! Of course the real task was reading Shoebox’s graffiti lyric sheet. That reminds me, FUCK Revolver Magazine, and the Dallas Cowboys while were at it! Just please never trust an awards show, or a Canadian who lives in -41 degree weather, again! That goes for Beyonce too, stupid Milli Vanilli acting bitch. Also, don’t trust anyone who owns an automatic weapon, but isn’t cool with them being banned or controlled, or some sketchy shit like that. More gun talk, and some video of a dude who says kids won’t be allowed to own turtles if we ban assault rifles, but I couldn’t find it and it wasn’t that riveting.

Happy BDay Tully’s Mom!

Hollywood News is always riveting, and so is Johnny Deep’s ex girl friend, who’s fucking some new chic, yup! Arnold is more interested in fucking his old chic, lizard lips. Speaking of Arnold, turns out Rawdog saw The Last Stand recently, and said it was damn good despite his gut going into the movie, and that it was only like 10th ranked after its opening weekend in box office sales. What was #1? Your Mama, seriously it was. Of course none of those are a match for The Jew Box. Ellis gave us a in depth recap of this masterpiece, starring Matisyahu, and whoever else is in the fucking movie. Sounded good to me, especially the ‘Jew Buzzer’ scene, so be sure to get it up ya! Do you know the difference between a Jew and a canoe? Snoop Lion doesn’t know the first thing about being a Rasta, or so says Bunny Wailer. Lindsay Lohan doesn’t know the first thing about a lot of things, plus she ain’t selling out either. Adele isn’t selling out her kid or his name, shes just too stupid to pull it off is all. Shia LaBeouf ain’t selling or sharing any of the shit he scored on the set of his next movie. And last but certainly not least, please don’t follow @jew_box on twitter, dude called the show and its pretty fucking creepy.

A.K.A. EllisMate beating that pussy up yo!

Check this muthafucker here out, naked on a roof, jumps off roof, breaks into home, jerks it on rug, shits on sidewalk, rubs himself over kids clothes n shit, oh and it took place in Florida! Jim Florentine took his place in Florida, after being 18 and laid only twice, he nailed a smoking hot chic first day in Florida. He stayed for 2 years! So what’s Jim been up to these days, who the fuck knows as he and Tully just spent the next hour comparing Ellismate’s sexual adventures lately, to hall of fame baseball careers such as Ted Williams, Randy “Big Unit” Johnson, and of course knuckleballer R.A. Dickey (Who has a long way to go to the HOF – just saying). From 3-2 counts to inside-the-park home runs, Florentine and Tully fucking lost me on this one, but hilarious none the less. Apparently Jim’s also big into asking his buddies for advice on the best moves to put on their ex hook ups. Hey man, if you know a trick she loves, hook me up with that info homie. And if you know a chic who’s cool with you shitting out a nugget, while having sex, I don’t fucking believe you for one second! Of course Jim wasn’t here to talk about that, though you could have fooled me, instead he will take part in the Roast of Dee Snider, tomorrow night at 9pm ET on AXS.tv. But enough about Jim, whats Ellis been up to? How about shoving 18 gauge needles in his ass and getting fake Canadian birth certificates, Red Dragons to you my friend.

Find out on TJES!

We found out Rawdog ain’t alone in his love of large areolas. One Jim Florentine gave our furry friend the nod of approval when hearing the news. Does that mean Robin Quivers has huge nip nips? One can only dream….about this nasty bitch from Boston, who beats her man for fa’ting in the bed, the nod, while singing her smash hit with Ellismate, “Ha’d to Fa’t” – which was lame, but no where near as creepy as WesleyPipes-tallica. Dick dog just wasn’t made for that riff, but the Ellis show is made for Jew jokes, needle talk, areolas and of course, shitting out nuggets while fucking some broad….or selling a BMW too, that’s kinda gnarly. Jew Joke: This kid asks his dad for fifty bucks, so the Jewish dad says “Forty bucks, what do you need Thirty bucks for?” If that didn’t sell you on listening tomorrow On Demand, then how about inverted nipples, hairy nipples, and of course skittles popping out of nipples. No, then its gotta be the baseball/Ellis sex life that has you intrigued. For me, I personally am a huge fan of the Jew jokes, including my favorite joke about your mom…..she’s a Jew…..a ‘Load Jew’, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 1/16/2013

Posted on January 16, 2013 by wiz1010

So Cullen put together another nice Best of, but that was yesterday. Today is live bitches!!! Yeah so Ellismate’s been sick the past couple of days, he just didn’t want to get Tully and Rawdog sick, I mean fuck Will right? On top of being sick, the Wing also dropped his new iPhone 5 in the pool, Tiggy’s sick too and saying ‘Hell Yeah’, and that of course means the ex ain’t to happy either. But all us fans is happy we got us a live show today, and that we got to hear DavidLeeRothtallica today, stemming from this vocal only track of ol’ Diamond Dave doing Running With The Devil. Ok I was kidding, who gives a fuck about him, back to the show. Tully says Linsanity is officially smarter than a dog while Rawdog has still been going to the gym and says his pecks feel firm, wanna touch? Burger Ellis has been pissing everywhere and eating carpet, yup! And your boy Young Wing not only had a credit card cancelled for some bullshit reason, but he also had to hear some moronic callers swearing you can put a cut onion in a room with you, and it will suck up the aids and gay in the air. Grandma also says you can cut up potatoes and put them in a sock, rock your little potato necklace, and get mad bitches but no herpes. This same tactic is often used by Kayne West, who was caught on tape being a douche bag while Samuel Jackson and Spike Lee were being bigger douche bags, its about 30 seconds in. Oh, and Jay-Z hugged Tully this one time, thats about it.

Why You Don’t Beat It On XMas Day!

So what will Rawdog buy Tully and Ellis with his Trust Fund, which is due at age 35? Nothing, he’s Jewish, OH! Just kidding, but seriously the Jingleberries are some bitches (That we love and respect!) for retracting on Rawdog’s shitty beard as man-boy-ly as it may be. Pornhub.com is full of bitches, doing some really cool shit too, and they say these are the 11 days of the year that we ain’t jerking it…using a computer! So remember that special guest Ellis was referring to last week? Yeah well it wasn’t Stupid Tits who was back on the show to preform his infamous impressions. If you’ve never heard of Stupid Tits, he’s a former intern who’s metal as fuck, and if you’ve never heard him do an impression, well you must go back and check this out. Spot on Mitt Romney, Jackie Chan, Jenny Lopez ass and all, James Bond and not the shitty David Craig one either! This dude sent chills down our spines with the likes of Hulk Hogan, Batman while chowing Catwoman’s carnival, Dracula chowing whoevers beave, and of course Rawdog who is the king of eating pussy as we all know. Some hilarious shit here to hear, and a Stupid Tits side note, he’s no longer in All Gods Kill but instead front man for Lazarus Casket, check him out!

Metal As Fuck

So remember that special guest Ellis was referring to last week? Yeah well it was former Metallica bassist, and current shredding ledge, Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Jason Newsted. Honest opinion folks, fucking bad ass interview here and worth every minute of your time. Ellis and Newsted just flipped it back and forth…12 years tomorrow when Newsted left Metallica….Newsted’s proud of Ellis for that shark heart eating incident….no shooting elk at Newsted’s place…Newsted eats left overs….yeah don’t let that last one throw ya, good radio here. Oh, and of course, Unsigned Bands! But this wasn’t any ordinary Unsigned Bands, no this time we had actual advice and help and shit, it was weird! Just a few that we heard from, ‘Teleport’ with that micro penis dude from Vermont, ‘The Wad’ from Puerto Rico or there abouts, ‘Young General’ who’s lawyer sent in the tape, ‘Rusty Hook‘ who’s not that bad, and legends in the unsigned bands game ‘Cuddle Crew‘. Jason Newsted really gave some legitimate advice to these fuckers, and one last band of note, Death!Death!Die!. Yeah Tully slipped in “Pain of Time”, and Jason Newsted gave it honest review, and yes Shoebox the vocals are too low! He did justify why it was low, had to be for the guitar or some ~~nerdy shit~~ good reason. He also said the singer was pretty good, and the dude on keyboards fucking killed it. Be sure to check out the “Metal” EP and NewstedHeavyMetal.com.

#FuckTullyHellYeah

Obama said fuck you to Star Wars! Donald Schultz says fuck you to the blicks, but thats in a best of somewhere. Today was live, and so were the animals Schultz brought in for Ellis ‘Snake Box’ he’s been envisioning. Schultz and his boy Mark, from The Reptile Outlet who came in to help, say a big snake isn’t ideal for this box as they’re too hard to care for. Nah Mate, how about this “friendly spider”? Its a huge tarantula, with 1/2″ fangs which suck out the insides of beetles like slurpee’s. Well picture that in a tank, hanging from the ceiling, with webs inside of skulls and shit, just starring at you with those straws for teeth, and tell me its friendly. Seriously though this thing doesn’t bite humans, just insects and male spiders, fucks them up bad like! No name for our furry friend yet, but its sounds like she will be a huge part of the show to come. I do however have a name for our furry friend who also is huge, and can suck the cum out of anyone with her straw like fangs, its Your Mom, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 1/2/2013

Posted on January 2, 2013 by wiz1010

Happy New Year Bitches!

Its’ been a long time, we shouldn’ta left you, without a dope recap to step to. But their fucking best of’s, and we got shit to do. Today was live though, first of the year, and started with the reminiscing of that time Ellis got that one chic to put a phone in another girls ass, and called in on the air, and he thanked his mom. Its shit like that he does to help the world, so EllisFam like you and i don’t get all pissed off with the morons living amongst us. So the next time some idiot cuts you off in traffic, and fucks your lady, you can thank Ellis for not getting so pissed. So what happened over the break for the fellas? Rawdog didn’t get laid, but did go to some formal party with Bentley and did get to jerk off his roommate when the ball(s) dropped. Tully got all spur of the moment n shit and took his wife n kid to Palm Springs so he could hang at a gay bar. Ellis took his kids n lady to Mammoth Mountain, got ’em ski lessons n shit, and told Katie to Harden The Fuck Up for all the wrong reasons. Thank god Jude showed up to spare us the drama and instead bring us stories of babies painting playpens in shit. Jude also got the recap of the Reckoning from Rawdog, who is now a real man, taking that dick like he did, and is ready for a kick ass 2013, you go girl! OH, and whats a new years break without movies? Ellis saw Jack Reacher said its was pretty fucking good. Tully saw Ted and also said it was pretty fucking good. Rawdog saw Django Unchained, also saying its was pretty fucking good. Jude on the other hand, saw Django Unchained as well, but in a black neighborhood, and its was not a pretty fucking good idea, but the movie was kinda sweet. And everyone should see Killer Joe cause Thomas Hayden Church is the fucking man and you can suck it!

Couldnt find a naked one armed man holding an arm….

Maryland got the gay, allowing their states first same sex marriage. Tesla is more than just a ~~shitty~~ decent 80’s band, but also a bad ass electric car thats Ellis Show approved and American made brother! Who had the worst New Years you wonder, maybe this woman Tully ran into at Fat Burger that not only broke up with her boyfriend, but her car broke down and she slept the night in the parking lot. I’m sure someone out there has a worse story, and maybe it involves a car ride up a long windy road, in Australia of course, and your stopped by a naked man, covered in blood, holding an arm. If so, dude you totally shoulda called the show, cause Ellismate had a box of shit he needed to get rid of to whoever had the best story involving the naked blood covered arm carrying man, and how he fucking got their in the first place. Quite a few callers with some good ideas n shit, but none of which can be put into words, so go back and listen for yourself. Of course, if you were curious what Rawdog or Tully would do in a situation with this crazed maniac…..Tully would just turn around n leave, while Rawdog would reason with the fine gentleman.

Another Rawdog Classic!

Hollywood News time muthafuckers! ~~Kim Kardashian had a baby~~, oh shit thats not news worthy never mind. Kayne West fucked Kim Kardashian and made that bitch have a baby, thats Hollywood News! Justin Bieber was smoking weed in his Ferrari and some paparazzi dude got ran over for talking shit, says Rawdog. Then Tully, being super dad n all, had a long heart to heart with us all on the dangers of the paparazzi, and on listening to Rawdog and not reading the story for yourself, seriously people. Then shit got ~~real~~ realer when a mysterious wooden box showed up that Ellis thought could contain a bomb or snakes maybe. Problem solved, they just got Cumtard to open the box, which contained…….some cool super cross thingie sent from Trey Canard #41 moto dude, who’s got a movie out about his 2012 life story titled REvival 41, check it out. I’m sure you’ll check out Rawdog’s new movie coming out one day, you know the romantical comedy about Shoebox and Adrianna Curry….oh and Ellis will also be making a movie, well a documentary, about Rawdog making his movie = video gold! Anyways back to Hollywood news with Rawdog, about how Katt Williams got into a fight with Sooge Knight and managed to film the shit on his phone. Nick Stahl, dude was in Terminator 3, was arrested by the Celebrity Jerk Off Cop. Latrell Sprewell, the man the myth the legend, knows how to fucking party, but has racist neighbors. Hugh Hefner has made one lady super fucking rich in like 10 years. If you google image search ‘100 year old dicks’…….well, you know. Lady Gaga hates her fans that hate themselves. Did Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt do it? Matthew McConaughey did it, again, for the 3rd time. Theres your fix of what happened in Hollywood while we were all having TJES withdraws, good on ya.

Scientology is wierd enough, but some dude wrote “The Church of Fear” exposing some shit about the odd religion, such as an impenetrable fortress built in the desert for aliens to find when we all eventually die off. Oh and Tully has some fucking sweet Japanese underwear that are silky smooth. Shout out to one Todd Richards for hooking Ellismania.com up with some Go Pro cameras, fuck yeah! You know what else happened over the break, UFC 155 bitches. I didn’t watch it though, but Cain Velasquez is your heavyweight champ again, battering Junior Dos Santos in the rematch to take back the belt. There were other fights too, but whatever bro go read up on that shit its old news. The new news is Ellis is gonna get killed by all of MMA for punching Ronda Rousey, in the future when shes on his show and tries to snap him in an arm bar. Also in the future, Cain Velasquez will have to fight Alistair Overeem a.k.a Ovaries a.k.a. Walrus Man, whos all jacked up on steroids n raw feeder fish, had to be there. In case you weren’t there in the beginning, when Ellis got that one chic to put a phone in another girls ass, and called in on the air, and he thanked his mom – he played the vintage audio for you. In case you weren’t there over the break, when we weren’t writing recaps, and were TP-ing your moms, while I can’t show you the pics from that alleged day, this outta give you a good idea….

OH!

No You Are

Red Dragons, Bitches

Tag Archives: Shoebox

Show Re-Cap for Wednesday 11/27/2013

Show Re-Cap for Thursday 11/21/2013

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 1/23/2013

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 1/16/2013

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 1/2/2013