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The ghost of Rawdog made his debut on the show today, he claims to have saw bright lights and Saint Peter trying to snowball him. If you were to believe this apparition, he said he told good old Saint Peter North that it was not his time, but we all know he loves his own load, so there ya go. Jude was also on the show today, talking about how he got all fucked up on morphine pills – which just might be the pill Tully has been looking for. And speaking of Jude and pills, he wants to shove a morphine pill up Rawdog’s sister’s butt, no biggie. However, Rawdog does not share Jude’s enthusiasm for his sisters holes and so he is cock blocking. This is a man that didn’t spit out his own load that got snowballed into his mouth because he didn’t want to make his girlfriend feel uncomfortable. When addressing the snowballing move to his girlfriend, he said “that’s kind of weird”, her response was “don’t be such a baby” Sweet Jesus! This chick is going to rule over the Rawdog, it’s starting to sound like an abusive relationship.
Keeping with the abusive relationship topic, Ellis said everyone should just leave Mayhem alone. He’s going through a tough time that he was unprepared for and it’s a hard transition to make. I really know nothing of Mayhem’s plight, but I do wish him all the best and you should too – if not only just to be a compassionate human. More talk about Staph Shaffington and his infected ding-a-ling, quite a few callers chimed in about the staph infections they’ve had in various places, such as on their balls, shaft, ass crack, etc. Shout out to all those staph genitals out there in the world, you make my eye twitch! In news that’s not really news at all, America is on the cusp of an obesity epidemic. Lot’s of people are overweight and many of them could probably do something about it, but choose not to. Whatever, there’s not much more you can really say about that except, BOOM-BOBBA-BOOM! Today was NMT, that is all. And now I leave you with a final thought, remember all those screaming sounds your mom makes when she’s getting DP’ed? Doesn’t it sound exactly like Stevie Wonder answering his clothes iron? OH!
The Olympics are over, and so is our Olympic coverage. Sure, we never actually wrote one damned thing solely about the Olympics, but that’s just a minor detail we can ignore. I’ll say this though, I bet there was more porn watched online today since the start of the Olympics. I mean, no more of that sweet, sweet, underage poon flipping all over your TV is going to make an impact. By the way, we don’t condone getting sexually aroused by watching that sweet, sweet, underage poon on your TV – that’s just fucking irresponsible and disgusting. I think. Pretty sure. Yup, I’m sure. Speaking of shit that’s just wrong, Cumtard was in the studio today in place of Rawdog – I assume Rawdog’s absence is because his “friend” Mr. X has fallen seriously ill due to all the snowballing he’s been doing lately, and not that he’s at a wedding in New York.
Cumtard went to a tranny party this weekend, everybody got naked, slipped into the hot tub, and started getting jacked off by one of the trannies. He claims he stopped it after 3 tugs because he was starting to get a chubby, but I think he’s the only person who actually believes that part. Judging by the picture and eye witness accounts – including from his current house guest, he was flirting all night with this girl and leading her on. I guess if you strike out with a chick because you shit your pants, you’ve only got so many other options. However, the best thing about fucking a tranny is reaching around and pretending it went all the way through.
Ellis Staph Shaffington has staph infection on his dick. You read that right. He showed it to Dingo, who promptly flipped the fuck out and said it looked like an over-sized herp. That has got to be fucking horrible, for everyone involved with that pee-pee. In case you missed it on Twitter over the weekend, Mayhem and Dana White traded tweets back and forth. The exchange seemed to start off friendly but quickly started to take an uncomfortable turn. I’ll say one thing about all that, it was the most entertaining thing I saw on Twitter Saturday. Here’s the start of the whole thing. Fuck Kony2012, Mayhem2012, am I right?
Not one to be outdone, Mayhem also got arrested today for being naked, inside a church, and fucking the place up. After hearing of this breaking news, Ellis immediately went to break and sounded bummed out. I’m sorry to say this, but after the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking Mayhem might be slowly losing his mind – and so far that just might turn out to be true, he sure seems to be acting out quite differently than his usual antics. I sure hope that dude turns his shit around before he goes completely off the deep end. On a lighter note and in another “Hey, me and Ellis have this in common” story, he was on a boat with Katie and his kids and got caught in a badass storm. Guess who else got stuck on a boat in a badass storm? Yup, this guy – last week. See? That’s like the 2nd story we’ve had in common, we’re connected now, right? No? Yea, you’re probably right.
And now, final thoughts of the Rawdog Memorial Show… actually, it’s more of a story. One day, guy goes to your mom’s house and tells her that he only wants to spend 5 bucks. She thinks for a bit, then says, meet me in the bedroom down the hall and on the left. The guy goes to the bathroom and then walks to the bedroom. He puts it in and it’s the worst feeling he’s ever had on his dick, it’s like sandpaper and teeth. He pulls out and tells her. “Um. something’s wrong, can you do something about that?” She crinkles her face, then says, “Why of course! But it will run you another five bucks.” She pockets the fiver and goes to the bathroom and is back in no time. The guy puts it back in and now, it’s the complete opposite: it’s the best feeling he’s ever had, and finishes in a flash. Panting, he asks her, “oh my god… that felt amazing… what did you do??” She smiles, and says, “for the extra five bucks, I pick the scabs.” OH!
#EllisFam support you Mayhem. Get better buddy.
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