2013

Posted on July 11, 2013 by bitPimps 中

Devon Ellis! You better not be reading this or we’re going to tell your mummy and daddy, young lady!

Hide yo kids, hide yo’ wives, cuz NYA is ruining young minds up in hurr!

It’s Thursday and people are testing my shit, what’s up with that shit, huh? Fuckin’ hell. Space helmets, Prometheus robot sticking a finger in your drink, and World War Z idiot. I don’t know what any of that is about (thanks work) and next thing I knew they were talking about having crazy gills, being able to swim like a dolphin, looking like an old shriveled ball sack, and swimming at the bottom of the ocean. Aquaman and old fish people could not swim as fast as a shark. So, everybody good and lost like me? Fantastic! Let’s see how much more I can miss because people are fucktarded. When’s the last time you hung out with an old guy and he wasn’t an ex-marine? Rawdog thinks he’ll be a cool old person and thinks he’s an “old soul” plus he likes camomile tea. Ellis’ ex, Andrea, thinks Ellis is racist against the Jews, but in reality he only hates Rawdog and her ex-boyfriend.

Rawdog leaving Nana’s house.

Rawdog thinks his sister, Dumb-Dumb Snaggle-Tooth, is smart – like all the Jewish girls he knows or ever met, including his mother and Nana. He also thinks Asians are generally smart, but he can’t explain why they can’t drive and there are no Asian Nascar champs – go figure. Tully, on the other hand, thinks Albanians are stupid, genetically pre-disposed to be dumb as fuck. Remember yesterday how Ellis talked about his daughter seeing some stuff online? Yeah, well, turns out No You Are might be partially to blame for that. So uh… sorry about that! Makes sense though. NYA is written by a bunch of 8 year-olds. KACHOW! Let’s just pretend that didn’t happen and move on, cool? Cool. So uh, you on some of that d-ball son? It’s slang for “Duribol” which is an anabolic steroid typically injected in your ass.

What’s more terrifying, old people or Freddy Krueger?

Rawdog & his girlfriend have his & her towels.

There’s a new anti-gay law in Russia, if you have any kind of homosexual propaganda and you could be fined and spend time in the polar clink. What’s even more weird is that unbeknownst to Rawdog, his girlfriend texted Ellis to ask him not to do anything to Rawdog’s cock and balls anymore now that he’s using them more. Ellis wants to have an Alice In Chains party and play more Alice In Chains on Faction. So the guys went through a bunch of their songs and picked out several to be put in rotation. This moved into some Elvis Costello song searching, but just for a bit because there’s just not enough time to delve into his deep tracks. When I suggested more Oingo Boingo and Rawdog agreed, it earned him a dick punch and me another lashing from Ellis and Will. So far today NYA has been bad and now me, I swear, this is not how my mother raised me! Corey Taylor (Slipknot) has a new book out that deals with the supernatural. It’s called: “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Heaven: (Or, How I Made Peace with the Paranormal and Stigmatized Zealots and Cynics in the Process)” God damn that’s a long title. Brian Stann has retired from the UFC. That’s enough news for you, now it’s time for the Google auto-complete game that you don’t get to play, so there! I’ll tell you this much, Ellis and Rawdog have both gotten plane boners before, on long plane rides with some vibration and viola, they had plane boners. We were all having lots of fun with the game. And then Mayhem walked into the studio and brought that shit to a loud, screeching, halt.

Me yelling at Mayhem, who is yelling on the radio.

After a break and prepping for Mayhem’s antics, we came back to Hollywood news. Luckily for you, I was stuck in traffic so you’re going to get the abriged version. Justin Bieber peed in a mop bucket, Lil Twist got nabbed for DUI with a blunt in his hand, Joe Rogan has a new show on SciFi, and then there was some other stuff. The leader of the Church of Scientology, yeah, his wife has been missing since 2007 – nobody knows where the hell she’s at or heard from her and anyone who asks about her is told that it’s none of their business. Sounds legit. Johnny Depp wants to buy the Wounded Knee site and give it back to the Oglala Sioux Tribe. Jason Ellis’ mom (technically, he’s Hollywood, right?) texted him to say she just watched the Howard Stern interview with him and says she never protected his father or something. There’s a new movie out called Sharknado, it’s on TV tonight, and it’s full of C and B movie stars. This movie makes me think the guys should make Jewclone. It’s a cyclone full of the Jews in the Holocaust, sounds pretty good right? What about a porno called Jewkkake? No? Fine.

Even still, nobody likes Jar-Jar.

Mayhem has a new clothing line and he wants to sponsor Ellis, the deal? Ellis will do it as long as Mayhem never tweets Dana White again, ever. No deal, of course. And that pretty much wraps up today’s recap. Thanks for stopping by and reading, we hope you return tomorrow for another exciting recap filled with laughter, important life lessons, and factually true stories like this one. Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins. The first cowboy says, “I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands.” The second cowboy can’t stand to be bested. “Why that’s nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I’m still here today.” The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his penis. OH!

Show Re-Cap for Thurday 5/9/13

Posted on May 9, 2013 by wiz1010

Sup fuckers, it’s yet another Thursday with your Uncle Ghostload, and the ADHD is heavy today. Ellis’s jaw hurts cause he’s been sleeping crooked and shit’s breaking on him. Why do crab’s sleep sideways? But like Tully points out, if there was a roided up smurf, beating the shit out of all the other smurfs, and your 6 foot ass rolled into town, blue roided up smurf would bring it to you despite your towering appearance cause that’s all he knows how to do! Which really just means Ellis wants to get back on his board and shred, but not with a bunch of 14 year old kooks. And Linsanity would be more likely to be Ellis skate board buddy, not to dare be confused with his DP buddy, since Tully is too old a dog to learn that new trick. Did you know that Will practically gave birth to Silverchair? I mean this dude was the first to play them state side, and he was the dude that picked them up at the air port in Hotlanta, I mean practically raised those little warlords. Some crazy dude wants to be Ellis’s fight date buddy, again not his DP buddy, but this dude has never trained, just lifted some weights……well, get it up ya mate! Speaking of crazy dudes, Rawdog is all set to go to Mars. He even has it planned to coincide with the his last TJES show in roughly 6 years…….and then I lost transmission……..

……..until they give Ellis $1,000,000.

…..yeah so I finally got back into The Jason Ellis Show, and just in time to hear them tell some dude to go write a haiku on Silverchair, followed by some other dudes best attempt at “Baby, Baby” or some shit. So what the hell is going on? Its the Little Miss Jason Ellis contest! Yeah I probably should have just switched over to Jude, but I stayed in and here’s what I deciphered. We had 3 lovely contestants, John, Perry and Jason. They each went through a well thought our test consisting of the aforementioned Silverchair haiku and a sexy karaoke, as well as eating a banana, a few questions, their overall looks, and of course a turn on the punch machine! Fuck dude, that’s a lot of shit, this mutherfucker must be important huh. Perry, who turned out to be the creepy dude, is the ocean and the least fuckable dude, had a haiku more about himself than Silverchair. Perry did win the punch machine with a solid 66 (Which he used his palm to strike the pad, hmmmm), but came in last in the final voting so fuck off. John, has huge areolas, which swayed Rawdog’s vote quite a bit, killed “My Humps”, and dominated the banana eating competition. John had a horrible and uncalled for haiku and more horrible and more-er uncalled for ass or lack thereof, so clearly he isn’t Little Miss Jason Ellis. Folks, meet Jason, not Ellis just a random dude with the same first name. Jason knows why bitches be trippin’, haikud the shit out of Silverchair, was easily the sexiest by default, and despite him not knowing how to properly eat a banana, he is the winner of the 2013 Little Miss Jason Ellis Pageant, so enjoy your free shit and don’t ever tell anyone about any of this, ever!!!

So this is what I pictured….

Kevin Farley is just a casual laid back dude! He stopped by the show to shoot the breeze with the fellas, cause you know he don’t give a flying mutherfucking fuck! Plus, he can do a spot on impression of a cop, so he’s got that going for him. You ever notice how sometimes in interviews we tend to find out more about Ellis than the guest? Well, this was kinda like that, but we did find out Ellis and Kevin share a serious bond having brothers who passed and both having to deal, with that and drugs and life and whatever dude let’s talk about Dancing With The Stars. Kevin’s hosts the road version of the show, which is still mega. He’s friends with Andy Dick as well, and subtly calls BS on Andy’s new female love thang. But its not just Ellis that bonded with Kevin today, Tully too shares a bond, University of Wisconsin-Madison bitches! Turns out that school is like a mini Australia, partying and burnouts. Kevin also was part of 2gether, a mock boy band, so he knows AJ and all the other boy band stars. He hangs at Rocking Riley’s, the only Irish Pub in Hollywood as it turns out, and sticks to vodka cause of the calories, but lets just keep that hush hush, its a little touchy. Lets also keep this hush hush, Tullyvich allegedly has some of Trader Joe’s finest in his home made Red Bull, all alleged of course, yeah come to think of it that didn’t happen, #fucktully. Back to Kevin, and his new movies! First off is Project Bigfoot, and this just pissed Rawdog off cause its a spoof on Bigfoot. After a 5minute exchange of Rawdog justifying Bigfoot being real, and The Loch Ness Monster dodging sonar, Kevin got back to his new movie, Project Bigfoot, which is due out in a few months and should be hilarious. But lets just say you don’t wanna wait a few months, and want your fix now, BOOM! No its not called boom ya dumbass, check out Paranormal Movie out on DVD now. Also, not sure how long you gotta wait for this, but Kevin and Ellis wanna start Titty Fucking Magazine so fuck yeah! Oh, and finally, for the ladies, if your in the Hollywood area and wanna get titty fucked by a Hollywood Star, thats @ImKevinFarley on twitter – Enjoy!

Rawdog was quite the little artist!

Well turns out the ADHD meds are wearing off on yet another tremendous edition of Your Mom’s House, so enjoy Hollywood News kids. Demi Moore is banging a younger Jason Ellis, good on ya mate! The Crickets are still alive. Nicole Richie was awesome in her dress she wore at this years Met Gala. Rawdog ain’t down for eating any crickets, maybe Dom is. What the fuck is a Met Gala anyways? Tom Hanks tops the list of Most Trusted individuals. Julia Roberts is Hindu. Some dude was swallowed by a hippo. “Meth Heads Die”, “Tully Beating Potheads”, “Will Suggesting Coke” what do all these have in common? They’re just random notes I jotted down, again the ADHD is thick today. Mayhem just figured out he ain’t listening to the show for a few days…….

…..but I’m sure he would feel better knowing that this dude Min existed back in the day, and could drop a load in the Nile River to ensure to crops would grow, duh! That reminds me of the time I tricked your grandmother into believing that if I dropped a load in her throat, her teeth would grow back, OH!

Show Re-cap for Friday 3-15-2013

Posted on March 15, 2013 by wiz1010

Fuck You! I don’t have to tell you shit man, I don’t have to tell you it’s Friday, and I certainly don’t have to just talk about The Jason Ellis Show. In fact, Fuck That! Its Dog Center mofo’s and joining our illustrious host Josh Rawdog Richmond is none other than Michael McTumble Tully (It’ll make sense later on) back from a two day aids-cation, which he “claims” to be over, uh huh! Rawdog doesn’t really fucking care what Tully has to say cause he gets to push the buttons and sit in the big boy seat! Tully did say he checked out some radio while out and the ‘Best Riffs’ was good clean radio fun! Superdad is also shocked Purple Haze is now out of the pool of 64. Tully also caught yesterdays no dick having proposition and got Rawdog started again, and just as he was about the marry a tranny, in walks our hero, our saviour, Young Wing. Well I guess Rawdog didn’t get that memo, you know the one about checking with Ellis first before just going into Dog Center like that. Turns out he didn’t get it, so in the end we all learned a valuable lesson today kids…..It’s Will’s fault, fucking Jizz Cult, who isn’t there today cause of his own aids-cation, which has officially been termed “Tully’s Shit Your Guts Out Disease”. Just hope that shit don’t make it to the East Coast! Anyways, Tiger kicked a ball into his face, and then he whipped his face off on Burger Ellis, and your Chad Reed’s poopie underwears! How sweet would it be to take Tully’s new drug, which makes you feel just like a 3 year old, blissful as it may sound it does include temper tantrums? How sweet would it be to think a Sperm Bank is the place you donate your load huh Rawdog? From there it was just phone calls on fisting stories, the likes of which produced the creepiest of creepy. One caller did remind Ellis how symmetrical and proportionate, not to mention aerodynamic, Ellismate’s penis is. That and Tully needs to tell Ellis this same type of compliment more often, to which Tully jsut dodged big time, finally giving in with a mediocre “Nice Cock”. Rawdog on the other hand does care for 6 pounds, and even suggested he get a Weenie Warmer for those colder nights!

Hope You Get Better Soon Will – Barry Damn!

UFC News is pretty fucking simple, its UFC 158 this weekend with Nick Diaz battling George St. Pierre, oh and GSP plays ~~mind games~~ with himself! Grill Em All is this magical fucking place where these sweet add dudes make the baddest fucking burgers n sandwiches n all since like well never before. They came on the show to toss out some eats for the gents to review, and to plug their shit – win/win! Did you know Grill Em All is no longer just a truck driving around Cali, but rather a restaurant, with walls n a restroom n shit in the restroom n shit. Crazy I know – Its also true they got some deal worked out with Metallica for the name n all, and Metallica has not eating there as of yet. The dudes from Grill Em All did get to meet Lars one time, through Dave Grohl of course. They also were invited to a party Metallica was having, but didn’t make it??? Whatever, these dudes brought food and its Friday so fuck off. Ellis had the Behemoth which was fuckign awesome. Rawdog had the Dee Snyder which was pretty fucking tasty. Tully had the Bar Coastal, also excellent. This place sounds delicious! Weekends are crazy busy for the boys so it sounds like their move indoors is paying off handsomely. The good folks at Grill Em All also extended the hook up to Rawdog to impress any date he may want to bring by, fucking cool man. If your ever in California check these mutha fuckers out and enjoy!

Image from searching “Panda Porn”

Image from searching “Panda Sex”

Breaking News – Panda Porn works! Its weird as fuck, but apparently all those years of shoving two teddy bears together has paid off. Well its March, so what else could that mean? Its Best Riff time everybody. Today we were able to advance one more team to the Elite 8, this time from the ‘Alternative’ bracket. I didn’t catch it song for song, but you get the idea:

#1 – “Superstitious” – Stevie Wonder WINNER

#16 – Some Radiohead song

#8 – No freaking clue

#9 – “In The Flesh” WINNER

#1 – “Superstitious”

#13 – That Pixies song

#4 – “Jerry Was A Race Car Driver” – Primus WINNER

#12 – Violent Femmes

#5 – “Money For Nothing” – Dire Straits WINNER

#4 – “Jerry Was A Race Car Driver”

#5 – “Money For Nothing WINNER (Triple Overtime)

#5 – “Money For Nothing” WINNER

#9 – “In The Flesh”

So the MTV song defeated Les Claypool’s strip club anthem in one of the toughest fought battles we’ve seen in year’s folks, only to move onto the Elite 8. More to come on this when we, you, well really The Jason Ellis Show decides who has the Best Riff!

Say “Hi” Dom!

Hey you’ve met Dom, the new producer dude right? He seems pretty cool so far, but as we all know that don’t mean shit until you get bitten by a snake, or shit on by one too that’ll do it. Well, today is no better day to initiate Dom into the club and who better to bring in the muscle? Reptile Outpost no doubt! And how better to determine the punishment, the Wheel Of Doom no doubt. And how to determine he Dom should face The Wheel, a simple little Q+A devised from #EllisFam tweets and Rawdog. For those of you who wanna play along at home, I’ve left the questions at the end. Now look, questions don’t mean shit here, all we care about is life and living it right! Well man, Dom learned to live today and tomorrow the air will taste so good to him. Cheese will probably never taste good to him as its almost as scary to him as getting bit by a snake or scorpion. Well after the first two questions were wrong, and Dom suffered through both blue and cream cheese and near vomiting, we eliminated cheese from The Wheel and shit got heavy. From there Dom pretty much feel apart really. He pet a scorpion and then a bird eating spider with minor complaint, but when the giant cock roach came out Dom lost his cool and almost his lunch since those things apparently smell like shit. Then it was put your hand in the box time for Dom. The first go into the box Dom was lucky as he missed the dick and touched only the bottom of the box. Then the snake was put in and Dom got another go, and another. Let me tell you by this point Dom was freaking out, screaming with a pitch the likes of Frank Decaro, but the snake wouldn’t fucking bite him. By then Ellis just had the Reptile Outpost dudes bring the snake out and try to bite Dom while his arm was extended but no dice. Its almost as if there’s a direct link between stroke victims and snakes refusing to bite them, weird. Anyways heres the Q+A for you to play along at home, along with Dom’s answer when incorrect (And the “Correct” answers are in the caption of the next picture, if you don’t get it then you are Fucktard Of The Week):

1. What was Tully’s original nickname? “McTumble”

2. Who was 1st winner of Musical Chair Fight? “Dingo”

3. Whos the worst house sitter? “Dingo”

4. Who’s the king of all pouches? “Raw Dog”

5. Give another nickname for Rawdog?

6. Who’s the original owner of Ellis’s Porsche? “Benji Madden”

7. Whats the jet ski tat on Ellis’s leg say?

8. What’s the girls name who gave Rawdog a hand job? “Sasha Grey”

9. What is Tully’s kids nickname? “Little Man”

10. What is Ellis’s favorite Offspring song?

11. Name a sex move Ellis has invented? “The Mouth To Vagina”

12. What is Dingo’s catch phrase? “Really”

13. Who’s the greatest toon to do coke with? “Scooby Doo”

14. What’s the original name of Death! Death! Die!?

15. What does “TFB” mean? “Tumble McRumbleson”

16. Who lives under the studio? “Springs”

..and for those playing at home, Dom got 4 out of 16, I got 15 out of 16, how’d you do?

(1. Cow Fucker) (2. Butter Balls) (3. Jason Mayhem Miller) (4. Jason Ellis) (5. theres so many give yourself a point) (6. Thomas Haden Church) (7. Kawasaki or Kawaski) (8. I Don’t Remember) (9. Linsanity) (10. None of them) (11. Reverse Scorpion, Reverse Chicken Wing Ball, Reverse Motosaki) (12. Pound for Pound) (13. Skeletor) (14. Tony Hawk’s Taintstick) (15. Trust Fund Baby) (16. Bill The Scorpion)

How could I forget tonight is Tiger Box, the greatest event one man has ever planned. There’s gonna be metal n whores n locusts n Rawdog may go too, tis fucking sick man! But before the show can go on, Ellis needs to find his guitar tech/roadie, and this can only be done with a test of will n strength n fucktardedness. So each intern was giving a task to complete, a task that may or may not be asked of a tech in a pinch. Anal Gay Lewis had to go purchase rubbers, poke holes n ’em, and return as quickly as he could…..so Ellis can impregnate every lady there and make tons of shredding babies to carry the Riff on forever, duh! Fruitler was giving a gun, that may or may not, ok was used for a murder and needed to be buried where no one could find it. Both of them were to take pictures of the task for proof, and again return as quickly as they could, at least before the end of the fucking show right. I kinda missed a lot from here to the end, Hollywood News was about Sharon Stone pissing off her maid, and Val Kilmer tweeting Tully about checking out his new play. Well only 5 minutes of that shit and Anal Gay had returned. Well he definitely was the fastest thats for sure, but a job must be done correctly or the clock has not stopped ticking young grasshopper. Well, Anal Gay not only got regular sized condoms, he also decided it be best to take them out of the wrapper to poke the holes in them, and them slip them back into the ripped packaging. As Tully, who so elegantly hosts the world renowned Woman Am I Right, put it “woman ain’t that fucking dumb dude”! From here the show got very happy and stuff, cause it’s Devin’s birthday today. Happy Birthday Devin, hope you have an awesome day!!! Ellis worked it out so he could tell her Happy Birthday live on the radio, so everyone had to be super chill or else! Well Ellis flexed his radio muscle for Snookie to hear, and no more than 10 seconds after he said bye does Josh drop “…shit man, Fuck!” Fruitler had returned during all this, so lets see how he did. Well he had a picture of the gun being buried, and buried too! Well just to make sure he’s the guy, and to also quiet Anal Gay Lewis’s tears of frustration over losing this event, Fruitler was giving the same Impregnation mission, to which he poked the fucking holes into the wrapper – Boom! Anal Gay just died after that, and in my humble opinion got very Bitch Chocolate like from there on out. Anyways its Final Calls from there and you know we don’t give flying mother fucking fuck! All we care about is being elbow deep in your grandma with one arm, fist deep in your dad’s ass with the other, knee deep in your mom’s vagina with a leg, and standing straight up on the other as to form the self proclaimed “Family Tree”, OH!

Show Re-Cap for Monday 3/11/2013

Posted on March 11, 2013 by bitPimps 中

Skrillex faces are exactly the same as food poisoning shitting / puking faces.

What’s up sluts? OMG, you guise! It’s 311 day, and that’s gay. Skibbi-bee-do-bop. So there’s a radical dude in the studio, he goes by the name Dingo. Someone’s been fucking with the voice altermication machine and letting the air out of the tires in the THC Porsche. Kids love tattooed head guy in pink pants. Ellis took his kids to trampoline world, and when Katie went to the bathroom to go number 1 or 2, she heard kids talking about tattooed head guy in pink pants and all he got was smiling faces. The Ellis household got food poisoning again, this time from the Mexicans – but no love loss, they still their food. Puking and shitting good times was had by all! Then he got in a bit of trouble. Andrea had come over, to get the kids I assume, and as she was leaving, he turned and said, “thanks my only friend.” Of course that didn’t go over too well with Katie as she didn’t take it as a joke and felt slighted. It’s all good though, Ellis smoothed it over and they banged out the issue. Rawdog needs a jacket with a “Jew Claw” patch on the back, and the topper would be to invent the “Jew Claw” finishing move in EllisMania fights.

Xzibit’s fall back career? Pimp my ride Afghanistan edition.

Why hasn’t Mayhem gotten back with Ellis about co-hosting Tiger Box? Is he out training, secretly hitting ever open-mic night in Hollyweird, in an effort to show Ellis up with his newly honed comedy skills? Who knows. What would Ellis and Dingo be doing if they had to fall back on to another career? Probably build houses or dig holes, that seems to be the Aussie crutch. Thankfully for everyone, that’s not the case. It’s calzone time, some Chuck (@EatAtCarlos) dude that makes them stopped by today to deliver the guys’ inventions so they could all try them. In case you have forgotten, here are the calzones featured on today’s menu: Chicken nugget, spaghetti & meatballs, loaded nachos & cheese, chili dog, dessert calzones with Little Debbie snacks & Nutella, Nutty Bars, Brownies, peanut butter & jelly with peanuts etc. Ellis and Tully gave the nod to the chili dog calzone. Dingo seemed to be satisfied with the peanut butter & jelly calzone. And of course, Rawdog went to town on the chicken nugget calzone. Apparently there’s a fucking pizza convention in Las Vegas, which sounds kinda cool until you think about how many bullshit pizzas there has to be there. Nobody wants to be the guinea pig taste tester for the pesto chicken with buffalo cornflakes pizza.

Dude. Your steroids are not helping.

Moto news, Ryan Villopoto joined the 3-time winner at Daytona club, by umm, winning. Man, that guy, he’s one heck of a guy. Villopoto is now in the lead on the umm, leader board. This pushed Davi Millsaps into second place, trailing by 2 points and a couple of shots of steroids. Greatest riffs bracket has been setup, there are 64 entries on the bracket and it’s time to start whittling it down to 32, then the sweet 16 round, and finally the elite 8 round. It’s confusing how the bracket is working, but Rawdog gets it, so we’ll just have to trust him. Basically, 64 songs. If a song wins once, it goes to the 32 round. If that same song wins again, it goes to sweet 16 round. If that same song wins a third time, it goes to the elite 8 round. The confusing part comes up because there are only 8 songs planned for today and the plan is to get those 8 songs down to 1 song, putting that song into the elite 8 round.

Cat Scratch Fever (Ted Nugent) vs Ain’t Talkin’ Bout Love (Van Halen)
Sweaty Teddy won.
Black Betty (Ram Jam) vs Sweet Child o’ Mine (Guns ‘N Roses)
G’NR won. *
The Boys Are Back in Town (Thin Lizzy) vs Eye of the Tiger (Survivor)
Survivor won.
Under Pressure (Queen & David Bowie) vs Back In Black (AC/DC)
AC/DC won. *

Now to send 2 songs from the previous round, to the sweet 16:

Cat Scratch Fever (Ted Nugent) vs Sweet Child o’ Mine (Guns ‘N Roses)
G’NR won.
Eye of the Tiger (Survivor) vs Back In Black (AC/DC)
AC/DC won.

Now to send 1 song from the previous round, to the elite 8:

Sweet Child o’ Mine (Guns ‘N Roses) vs Back In Black (AC/DC)
G’NR won and is now in the elite 8.

We got to hear some Mike Tyson songs on the show today, thanks to umm, Mike Tyson and The Jingleberries. Science is now saying the beer goggles do not exist, which okay, being drunk doesn’t make a chick hotter, it just lowers your standards. Makes sense, poor decision making and loss of inhibitions tend to go with alcohol. We got a little more information about Dom the producer today in an effort to get everyone to know him better, he used to do radio in Arizona and his Twitter name, @TheHippieDom came about because he was labeled as a hipster. However, he wrote out a few more questions with multiple answers and the guys have to guess which is most likely

Hot, naked Dom

Q: What is the main reason why girls break-up with Dom? He goes Dutch on all meals, he works too much, or he has no future?
A: Survey says: He has no future.

Q: Dom toured around several states doing what sport? Extreme frisbee, hacky sack, or paintball?
A: He was an amateur paintballer.

Q: There’s an annual thing Dom does once a year in Mexico, what is it? To hear some great Americana music, to buy prescription pills for his rash, or to visit a friend in prison?
A: He goes to listen to Americana music.

Q: Dom has had some weird jobs over the years, which was it? A real estate agent, a urine drug screen collector, or an accountant?
A: Real estate agent.

Q: One of Dom’s most memorable trips to Mexico was what? Had no phone, no wallet, no passport, & $10 bucks and left by himself in Mexico, something else, or had to sleep in a Tijuana airport for 3 days?
A: He got left because he banged another chick besides the other girl that wanted to bang him. And he is now friends with the chick that left his ass stranded in Mexico.

Q: On a snowboarding trip one time, he came back to find what stolen from his car? Roof, seats, or wheels?
A: The roof.

Q: While trying to do a 180 on a snowboard ramp, Dom broke what? His tailbone, rib, or finger?
A: He broke his rib.

Q: Dom’s first concert was what? Sneaking in to see U2 at the age of 10, Rolling Stones at 2 weeks old, or Guns ‘N Roses at 25 or some shit?
A: U2, he likes Joshua Tree. HAHAAA

Dom stage diving at U2.

Q: Dom’s favorite alcohol of choice is what? Tequila, something else, or absinthe?
A: ‘Atta boy! Tequila.

Q: Six months ago, Dom got hit with what condition? Bell’s Palsy, Premonitory Turrets, or Osteogenesis Imperfecta?
A: Bell’s Palsy, he had a temporary stroke and half his face froze the fuck up and he has pictures to prove it.

Q: This year, Arizona nominated Dom for what? The most eligible bachelor in Arizona radio, best radio personality, or something else?
A: He won the best radio personality in Arizona radio.

Q: The scar Dom has on his arm is from what? A .22 caliber, a human bite, or a bottle rocket?
A: He got bitten by a Cumtard when he worked a developmentally disabled place.

And with that, we close out today’s re-cap and you can go on your own merry way and spread your herpes, just like your father, mother, brother, and sister before you. Also, Burbank Dave sends his regards, to your grandmother.

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 2/13/2013

Posted on February 13, 2013 by Az_RedDragon

Can you dig it? can you dig it? CAN YOU DIG IT? No, but I can write it. Hey, word of advise when starting something, don’t blow your intro load too soon. That can fuck up your whole game and you can end up failing like a failing failure. For example, Chevy Chase, he has played the dick, the loser, and an ass. I don’t know how that’s an example but here’s another example of something non related. 80’s movies that don’t hold up. But not haggard! That shit is timeless, according to Ellis. Anthony Kiedis and Rick Ruben both cried over a bunch of kids crying over Justin Beiber in Justin’s movie. And if you want to see something else that won’t require a walk down the feminine hygiene isle you should see Romper Stomper. Turns out that Tully’s wife can fix stuff and he can’t, please insert Asian joke accordingly. Someone emailed the show with a movie idea that might actually be feasible a helicopter crash mock-u-mentry based on the survival instincts of the guys. Basically it would be the guys wandering around the desert while snacking on Donald Schultz. Ellis rediscovered that working out with music is way better than doing it without so now he is pumping iron to some head splitting rock like Fiona Apple.

DMX was arrested again for driving without a license, again. But this time we have a video clip of him describing incident. Katie is now rocking the web cam scene earning her keep fro Big Daddy Jace Cakes, her user name is UnderwearWolf, so I’m told. Some Fan Fiction was sent in by Tim and it was read by Tully, Kevin, and intern Will. There was a strange twist at the end and the rest of it was something that I’m still trying to dislodge from my mind. Well done. Unsigned Farts again today, they were mostly crappy, fuck the pun, but the last two were remixes and rather entertaining. Mayhem joined the guys in studio for farts and so much more. The topic soon turned to flying cars with Mayhem and Rawdog and how cool it would be never mind the thought that Rawdog AND Mayhem would be flying them too. Flying moto was also mentioned and quickly turned into an Ellis vs Josh and Mayhem fight. Seems Josh and Jason don’t understand that if the kikes can fly then the jumps would just be nothing and it would suck balls and nobody would care. This fight was diffused by caller who reminded us about Rawdog’s “Pantera like” song. The only thing would make this Panters like is if Dimebag played the keytar and all the rest of the band were Muppets with somebody’s hand up their ass. Rawdog’s new girl now his old girl as he now continues his quest to throw some digits in some bitches all over SoCal.

Upon return the guys brought back an original favorite, Monkey Business! News about monkeys and the crazy evil shit they do. Some cruise in the Gulf of Mexico got stranded and all the toilets got backed up from the people too stuck up or stupid to hang their fish feeder off the side now labeling this as the Shit Cruise, creative name, I know. Corey Taylor of Stone Sour and Slipknot and every other fucking band in music was in studio today talking about all his bands, him not drinking because he wasn’t very productive and now being too productive. Mayhem brought up getting butt fisted while stage diving, and Corey shared a Lemmy stories about a joke about fisting grandmas ass. Slipknot cereal almost existed, and Jason played Corey the Slipknot Cereal that the Jingleberries made and now Corey wants to put it on his Facebook page, that’s fucking metal!

They came back with Unsigned Bands with special guest, Corey Taylor. Here’s what i got:

Two Weeks, sucked
No Class Assasins, sucked again
Jeremiah’s Kind, bad, just simply bad
Funk-tion, not funky not tion but not the worst
The Honey Shakers, this better be a homeless dude on the subway
Everybody Run, mayhem liked it for what it’s worth
Texas City Bombers, recorded on a tape recorded in a garage while the street is being demolished, I liked it on a comedy level
Seven Dirty Words, not bad, didn’t make my ears hurt
Haunted By Heros, supposed to be 12 year olds but everyone is calling bullshit
I’m not sure who the last band was but Corey sang and made it a hit, but the band probably sucked anyway, they should just get this audio on loop and jack off in a corner because that’s the best that they will ever be

Check out Corey Taylor in a city near you, unless your some hillbilly that lives in the middle of butt fuck Egypt then your just screwed.

We returned with Ellis complaining about “an explosion of female phone drama.” I’m sure we will find out whats going on in the near future. This led into Cock News where we learned about a red white and blue slug that has disposable penises, Murica, Fuck Yeah! Oh, and Steve Martin is having a baby, congratulations to his old and saggy balls. Then there was Final Calls where a dude called about his dead parents because they were as old as shit when he was born and he was cool with it and possibly normal. Can Ellis and mayhem kill dude with a knife or sword? Fuck yeah they can, all Kung-fu like and shit. Then we were briefly gifted with Mayhem’s view on wrestling being banned from the Olympics, he thinks it’s bullshit. Burbank Dave is getting extra creepy on web cam, no surprise We enjoyed deep thoughts with Steve, the former bomb tech, and Dip, the truck driver. And finally the boys got a few Bless Your Hearts to Tim or Tom, the previous caller, Mayhem, Wills ass, Cumtard, Rawdog, Tully, and Ellis’s head tattoo. Unfortunately the caller got cut off before he could bless yer Mum, because he so does love slappin that back fat as he rides the cellulite carriage to smash town, OH!

No You Are

Red Dragons, Bitches

Tag Archives: Mayhem Miller