Show Re-Cap for Thursday 2/28/2013

Fuck the man!  Thursday’s just as good as any day to do just that, Fuck the man!  Ellis took part and showed up 2 minutes late, Fuck you man!  Remember how like 5 years ago Ellis was hot shit on myspace?  Shit Tully said its difficult to find a clip without The Wing plugging the shit out it.  It’s still kinda like that now, well with Twitter, Instagram and Telly – but again, Fuck The MAN!  So what else, Ellismate’s been getting to bed earlier so he can get up when Tiger n Devin do.  Speaking of Mr. McPiggles, Ellis said he was in tears cause he asked to be a freestyle moto dude but Big Daddy said no, well when he’s 18 maybe.  Tully played devil’s advocate, asking if Tiger wanted to do mega ramp, and it was more deadly than it currently is, what if then?  Its a good point, much like the kick returner in the NFL verse playing as a kid in little league – just depends, risk verse reward.  Shit changes, shit gets heavy, Fuck The Man!  To Fuck  or Not To  Fuck Hatebreed, that is the question?  Yeah the topic arose again, which brought up a good point again by Oxford, just bring him on cause of TJES controversy around Hatebreed.  Well Ellis went to the callers, cause of course the fucking callers aren’t morons, and the votes were official, Fuck Hatebreed, Fuck The Man, and look for Rainn Wilson riffing with Rawdog and the crew soon!

 

In case you didn't know who Rainn Wilson is (On the left!)

In case you didn’t know who Rainn Wilson is (On the left!)

 

Some shit about this 9 year old kid rapper, so  go ahead and get that up ya. So who’s on twitter that ain’t following @mike_in_canada?  Well he sent in an idea to Tully, ‘ey, and Fuck The Man we played a game today kids.  Guess which Rock n Roll rumors are True, False or Who Gives a Shit!  Aight so there’s not a ton to write really, and mostly cause I was just zoned listening and didn’t really jot my notes – but again, that just means it was radio gold my friends.  Ok so Led Zepplin tied up and fucked some bitch with a shark, an octopus, whatever they  had back in those days.  Of course the David  Bowie and Mick Jagger incident.  John Lennon fucked  mad dudes and Yoko called him  out of the closet.  The Beatles smoked weed at Buckingham Palace and their dentist slipped them LSD in hopes of an orgy.  Jimi Hendrix was abducted by the mob while on heroin, and didn’t even  know it happened.  The whole Vanilla Ice Sooge Knight thingy and finally Marilyn Manson and Trent Rezner fucked some groupies bush out while on fire.  So if any of that interests you to be true or false or whatever the fuck, go back n check it out!  And if that don’t do it for you, how about a sweet new Jingleberries song about Tully shitting in a washing machine, yup!

 

Rawdog during his ass whipping from Katie, with a Horse Cock.

Rawdog during his ass whipping from Katie, with a Horse Cock.

Rawdog been talking some shit, but first check out this gnarly fucking Sea Lamprey found in New Jersey!  And second, one of the two assistant dudes, the shoebox dude, he’s now Anal Day Lewis, so that’s whats up.  OK, so Rawdog says he knows more about music that Katie does, and Ellis calls bullshit.  Maybe Ellis is just calling BS cause Katie’s his girl, or maybe  he knows something Rawdog doesn’t.  Either way shit’s gotta be settled and for cash n prizes, well you know.  If Katie wins, get ready for Rawdog verse Katie at EllisMania 9!  If Rawdog wins, well I wasn’t sure but it was something out of fart on her, grope her, spiderman her.  Well before we get to the battle, lets see what Katie’s got for the new punching machine.  Her first attempt fucking sucked ass, a 16.  But she bounced back and got a nice 45 to top Cumtard, who immediately whined his way into another shot for himself only to drop a 36 and continue his legacy.  Oh, and the other intern assistant guy (I guess there’s 2 dudes now, huh) he’s Fruitler which is an Australian American term for a fruity Hitler looking motha fucker.  Will JizzCult Pendarvis III had 20 questions, and folks let me tell you, this will definitely without a doubt like your mom next to a cock garunted she sucks it be on Best Of real soon.  Heres the scoring as I had it:  Katie, Katie, Rawdog, Katie, Rawdog (3-2 Katie so far), Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie Katie (That’s now 11-2, still Katie by the way), both got it wrong, Katie, Katie, Rawdog, Katie!   So basically Ellis Mania 9 just got fucking sicker and I just successfully name dropped @underwearwolf like 20 times!

 

 

Picture 1

This guy follows @mike_in_canada for sure, ‘ey!

Did you know that Ikea furniture is in the horse meat game?  So Chuck from Eat At Carlos, get it – asked Ellismate what kind of custom calzone he and the boys would like?  Well we all know this is a dream segment for TJES, and for us the target demographic, ya know dumb fatass Americans, so what is your dream calzone?  How about an Ellis favorite spaghetti n meatball calzone, or perhaps the breakfast calzone with hash in it.  You could get the Tully inspired Thanksgiving calzone, or maybe your a chocolate n Vanilla ice cream calzone like Rawdog.  Whatever your into, get it up ya!  If your into Twitter, then get @mike_in_canada up ya cause he strikes again, summoning the one and only GodWar to the show to play one his games for prizes, well by prizes really but its fun.  This time GodWar hummed the rifs to popular rock songs, in reverse and reversed those or whatever the fuck he does, dudes weird really.  Anyways Godwar did it again, no one reached the prize chamber, not even ol’ GhostLoad, ‘cept for one dude at the very end who nailed the last one despite its difficulty, so shout out to you dude whoever you may be!

 

How I Feel Before n After hearing Godwar

How I Feel Before n After hearing Godwar

 

Not much in the way of Hollywood News, so we’ll just update you on Lindsay Lohan and call it a day.  She told the man, Hey Fuck You Man (She must listen to the show or at least read the recaps), and is headed to court, cause she don’t wanna go to rehab.  Oh and coincidentally the Green Day dude is out of rehab and said it sucked.  Tully says dudes in rehab smoke cigarettes above the knuckle, I think its code for take it up the ass but I could be wrong.  Ellis is in a Fuck Off mood, but loves ya #FullHomo, but seriously Fuck Off!  That could only mean one thing, yup – Placenta Talk on The Jason Ellis Show!  Oh boy some dude’s wife put placenta into pills so she can take them 4 times a day, Woman Am I Right?  Tully kept Linsanity’s umbilical cord for like 8 months in the butter dish, and conveniently says all women from Wisconsin are bush pigs.  The Used will be in concert tomorrow night in LA, and Ellis will be there, rocking WolfKnife attire perhaps.  No alone time with The Wing on Final Calls, in fact, Tully pretty much took over from here.  Remember the boss who asked Tully for advice on how to get his workers motivated without options to really replace them – And Oxford told him to fire like a 10th of his workforce, ya know trim the fat, and dude called back and damn if it didn’t work like a charm.  Tully also called out some bitch who called in saying her man was scared to cum insider her even though she said she’s on the pill – when he asked her if she were to get pregnant, would she want to keep it?  She jumped at her chance to answer yes, sounding sketchy as all hell leading Ellismate to tell dude to run for his life, and sparking the catch phrase “In the Bum, No Babies!”.  That’s what I keep telling your grandma, but she insists her box fell out 20 years ago and I got nothing to worry about, sounds like a set up to me, OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 2/25/2013

oscar_goes_to_jail

You’re a monster, Oscar, a monster!

It’s Monday, the day after the Oscars! Whose feeling fabulous?! Yeah, me neither. The only thing I hate more than Hollywood gossip has to be Hollywood award shows. But, you know it’s gotta be addressed – especially since you saw Rawdog tweeting his little furry butt off Sunday night during the awards. Actually, I think that’s the most he’s ever tweeted. If you’re looking for more Oscar Awards talk, you’re in the wrong fuckin’ place, sister. You better sit your gash down and hit some other shitty website. It’s Tiger’s birthday today, have you wished him a happy birthday yet? Shame on you! Smooth segway into today’s first guest on the show, Ding-o-mate, pound for pound the smartest guy raising his feet while driving past a graveyard. He ate a bunch of shit and woke up to spew chunks and then go back to sleep, like an Australian version of a Roman in the vomitorium. That probably doesn’t make any sense. Ellis is back in therapy, sounds like he had himself a session today to up his game and shit, he also watched some porn this morning – dude had a busy morning so far. Rawdog went out on a fourth date this weekend with some little hussy, they went to a comedy show, had a few drinks, and got himself a kiss on the cheek for his efforts. Tully got eye raped by some weird dude that was coming out of the bathroom at the zoo.

mantis_thug

Thug mantis is ready to rumble, motherfucker.

Is pollution shrinking our cocks? Could this explain a Chinese man’s pecker? Or is this pure bullshit? I don’t know, my cock & balls are cool. Dennis Bermudez called into the show today after his fight over the weekend, which made fight of the night and is contention for fight of the year. He’s got 7 stitches over his left eye, his right eye is almost swollen shut, and the rest of his head is busted up – but, like a fuckin’ warrior, dude sounded great on the horn. Ronda Rousey ended up beating Liz Carmouche, and apparently people really want to hump on Rousey and everyone agrees that Cormouche kinda looks like butt chin Urijah Faber. Sounds like the UFC is considering a new clothing rule for women’s MMA after Rousey’s titty almost popped out on several occasions, which I’m amazed we haven’t seen someone’s ass cheeks yet. There was some speculation on how much MMA fighters are getting paid versus other athletes such as boxers, and why aren’t the fighters getting paid more. Generally, everyone seems to agree that these fighters aren’t getting paid what they should be, but everyone also things those numbers will go up as the sport grows.

shes_on_what

Lindsay, find her pretty much anywhere.

Ace Frehley is losing his home to foreclosure while Lindsay Lohan is in trouble again – no, seriously. Ron Jeremy on the other hand has been cleared to go back to torturing vagina’s with his disgusting dong. Kanye West won’t let Kim Kardashian sign autographs anymore, I’m not so sure it’s him teaching her to keep part of her life private as much as he’s embarrassed to be seen with her extra thick bacon coat. He say’s he also won’t be appearing on her shitty show, and it sounds like Kim might not even come back for her own shitty show. The League of Extraordinary Kid Rapers Church is once again getting slammed right in the proverbial asshole over allegations of a super priest wanting to do gay things with other priests, making them the gayest anti-gays on the fucking planet. Time to completely dumb all your stupid people and stupid rules and get in on something where fucking children isn’t the main issue among your peers.

worlds_okayest_mom

Your mom’s spit cup.

Speaking of dick, Andy Dick just joined the cast of Dancing with the Stars, word on the street is he’ll be FABULOUS! Some dumbshit was saying The Offspring was potentially going to tour with Metallica, and that dumbshit needs to burn in hell. Some dude called in to say his pussy son (his words) got in a fight at school and wanted to know how he could be proud of his little girl without condoning fighting. Your mom called in to get a “Sweater Puppies” name. Everyone knew she meant “Wolfknives”, she’s a woman so we expect a certain level of thinking. Instead of giving her a name, they asked her if she knew the difference between her hippie ass and a hockey player. Of course she didn’t, so they told her that a hockey player takes a shower after 3 periods. Naturally, she didn’t get it. So they asked her if she heard the one about the child with AIDs? It never gets old. She didn’t get the joke, but she did pull out a picture of your little brother and sobbed, so that was still pretty funny. OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 2/21/2013

You Tell 'em Jewels, I mean Ellis

You Tell ’em Jewels, I mean Ellis

Well kids, gather around the ol’ camp fire and listen up to the Thursday tales from The Jason Ellis Show.  So uh you know how when you have puffy socks on and you can’t tell where the shoe stops and the skin begins?  And that feeling you get when your snuggled up in your sheets is as close to feeling your insides as you’ll ever get.  Look kids, your uncle Ghostload ain’t gonna lie to ya, the first hour isn’t going in any Backbone official recaps anytime soon……but still better than 98.2% of the other shit out there -so- How could you say no to having a pussy for one year, and still keep your cock n balls?  You can’t – gotta try it once right!  But no tits though, that’s just too much, and would you get all emotional and shit as part of the package, this and more but first.  Good old Sam Rubin joined the show again to shoot the shit, plus his Oscar red carpet show coming up, and totally disrespect the show.  Did you know he doesn’t even follow Young Wing after he gave him a nice EllisFam Flex to boost his followers?  Of course Ellis called him out on it, and Sam just replied he subs that out so let’s just ask the guy who runs Sam’s twitter.  Yeah well that dude called, and basically said that’s BS, even despite Sam’s attempt to blame a glitch in twitter.  Honestly, who gives a fuck about twitter, but its principals that matter here.  Other shit – Sam owns a blackberry, and had his twitter followers go from 10,000 to 100,000 in a day or so, but then magically down to 30,000 shortly thereafter.   Whatever dude – He’s a dick to Tully, totally full of it and proud to say so.  Check out his red carpet shit or whatever your mom wants you to do.  There is this video of Andy Dick on Sam’s show going ape shit on Howard Stern.  Other than that, check out Bernie with Jack Black cause Tully said so.

 

 

A woman's mind is complicated

A woman’s mind is complicated

Check out this year’s front runner for Best Picture at this year’s Oscars.  So this muthafucker here just lost his gay porn star mind.  Shout out to Scott Green and his #FullHomo ass, a true EllisFam ledge from way back if you don’t know what’s up.  Sounds like he may have an upcoming role in the potential masterpiece Gory Hole.  Think of a glory hole in Hostel, and let your mind wander.  Its gonna get pretty nasty, but hard first, then just nasty – check it out!  More nasty for that ass, this chic here was arrested for fucking her pit bull in public.  I really ain’t got no advice for that bitch….or any of these bitches on your favorite segment, Teen Talk.  This is where Rawdog reads off some questions for teen magazines and Tully n Ellis answer them.  So, if you suffer from an online boyfriend who lives in Iraq and you love him but don’t know what to do, or maybe just don’t know how to give a good blow job and need help (Don’t we go over this like once a week?), and if not that I’m sure your 17 and dating a 25 year old who just found out and is now pissed…..What do you do?   Nah, wasn’t shoot yourself this go around, but yeah some dumb bitches and more on that to come.  Did you know Cumtard is filling his free time from not answering the phones by working Craig’sList for guests and/or a new job?  More Teen Talk – Can you get preganat from precum?  Friends with pill and college dude addictions.  Some chic who lives with her grandma and isn’t allowed to fuck her boyfriend yet.  You get the drift – they should all shoot themselves, or just get the AIDS and be done with it!

 

 

Hollywood News time kids – Josh Borlin and Diane Lane are getting divorced even though he “allegedly” beat her who give a shit.  Lindsay Lohan lost her lawsuit against Pitbull.  Friend of the show Jackson Strong showed up on TMZ, but with a shirt on this time.  Hey man, seriously, who is the biggest loser on The Jason Ellis Show?  Is it Cumtard, or how about Will ‘JizzCult’ Pendarvis III?  Nah, its Rawdog with Sam Rubin as a close second, OH!  Riveting talk from here boys n girls.  Let’s talk hair!  Is Rawdog going bald?  Should he get the Jason Newsted with long hair in a pony tail and shaved sides?  Isn’t Will’s hair just the greatest, he’s so dreamy.  Think that’s not hot shit – Check out Beard Talk and how Tully’s got too much stubble.  OK, Beard Talk sucks, back to Hair Talk – Did you know Rawdog had blue hair back in high school?  Apparently Ellis used to dye his hair a lot too, and may explain why he’s bald as a muthafucker.  Dave Lombardo is out of Slayer for trying to get all smart and shit, and that ain’t fucking metal so fuck that dude he’s out!  Good shit -King Mo Lawal fights tonight in Bellator so if you read this in time go check that shit out!  Not only does Shia LaBeouf wanna fuck his mom more than us here at NoYouAre, but he wants to fuck Alec Baldwin too, but he’s on his own there!  Finally in Hollywood News, Matthew McConaughey has lost his fucking mind, but not that sweet ass hair….and here’s how!

 

 

         Seriously Dude!

Women Am I Right?  Truck Yeah you are if your a hair dresser lady in the UK who put $1000 a month into the wrong account cause well you know.  Trucker Yeaher if you know a guy from a dating sight, but never met, and give him $450K for his new gold mining business.  Truckest Yeahest if you shoot your free throws like this bitch.  All of a sudden shit got fucking Sirius at The Jason Ellis Show when Will ran into the studio with scissors and other sharp objects to slash up Rawdog’s face.  Why you ask?  Just a zit, but still that dude held a knife to the Illusionists face and took off a piece, Red Dragons Will!   Back to Women Am I Right, am i right?  So if your Valentine’s Day sucked, you can feel better after reading about this crazy bitch and what she bit of of her boyfriend.  Tully says a woman on average spends over 1 year of her life putting on makeup, and I call bull shit – its at least 5+ my friend.  And finally, we have ourselves a winner ladies and gentlemen – Women Am I Right?  Oh and Ellismate had a Jew Cookie and the fortune inside didn’t really apply to him – so be sure to check out JewCookies.com and get it up ya super accurately!

 

“Gory Hole” starring Jason Ellis, Rawdog and Scott Green

 

So I told ya the show wasn’t a huge success today, but still better than 4 hours of Mad Dog Russo, fucking hell man.  However, Ellis did do that super cool phone call thingy at the end of the show – Ya know where he just takes calls, but with no one else there – just Ellis and the fans – one on one – mano y mano, well uno y uno.  It’s basically Final Calls on steroids which is pretty bad ass.  Nothing too sweet other than Bieber talk and why Ellis doesn’t do hard drugs anymore, for the umpteenth time.  But once in a while you do come across a gem, and today it was the caller’s idea of a contest where a caller is on the show for an extended period of time, maybe an hour, and gets to just fit in and riff and see how it goes.  Not sure what then end game is here, but fuck it I’m in!  Ellis also did reminisce on Wolf Knife Laser Torch and its origins.  Other than that, I’d like to thank Barry for giving me the strength to persevere through Sam Rubin’s bullshit, and I’d like to thank the Dog Father for making those tasty little Jew and Honky Cookies we all love so much, and most of all I’d like to thank your grandmother for getting that dingle berry off my ass that had been there since at least last weekend……with her teeth, OH!

 

 

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 1/29/2013

So you say you like romantic movies?

So you say you like romantic movies?

It’s Tuesday and your mom’s gash is still just a fucking mess, when is she gonna get that crooked shit straightened out, man? Whatever, it’s not like I care, I was just wondering. Chopper Read was pretty much an asshole, but a glorified asshole – at least in Australia, also he has no ears. Jude came in stuntin’ with a new glorious scarf, talking about how he does movie reviews with B-Real. Ellis feels like everyone is mad at him for having a Porsche, like he’s a rich snob or something, and Jude glaring at him while ranting about how people come from all over to help feed the homeless, then leave to go back to their mansions, and Jude’s left with a homeless dude shitting in front of his house. Jude’s into romance movies, so picture this – Jude getting dusted on K and trying to watch Sleepless In Seattle. According to Tully, Paul Newman is a million times cooler than Robert “Ball Bag” Redford, he’s the Garfunkel of Simon and Garfunkel. Tully also admitted to us that he cried at the end of the movie For The Love of the Game with Kevin Costner, and Rawdog admitted he cried watching Field of Dreams, also with Kevin Costner.

Gangster's, rappers, gangster rappers, and kitties. All of them, above the law.

Gangster’s, rappers, gangster rappers, and kitties. All of them, above the law.

Hollywood news time, some guy says he has a photo of a young Arnold Schwarzenegger performing a sex act – and then the 1 person who cares threw up. Ellis thinks one of his neighbors was filming him having sex in his pool, or maybe not, but either way he’ll sue his ass if it leaks out. Rick Ross was the victim of a drive-by shooting yesterday, 50 Cent joined Dingo when he speculated that Rick Ross staged the incident, because none of the bullets that were supposedly fired at him actually hit his car. Daughter of Tammy Knickerbocker from Real Housewives of Orange County, allegedly rammed several parked cars and punched a cop. Lindsay Lohan says she’s too ill to fly and therefore can’t show up to court, but she was photographed out shopping and smoking. You know that whole Chris Brown / Frank Ocean fight thing? Yea, from surveillance footage, neither one actually threw a punch, it was just their posses going at it. Justin Bieber grabbed the titty of one of his fans at a meet-n-greet, TJES groping expert, Will Pendarvis, confirmed it looked like a boob grab but questioned the fans age. Guess who has a moat around their virtual castle, that’s right, Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen, and nobody really knows why – but it’s there. Whitney Houston’s brother says he introduced her to crack, not Bobby Brown, and the entire world is clamoring to explain to him that he might not want to go around bragging about it.

Jesus is such a prankster, after all, Backstreet Boys exist.

Jesus is such a prankster, after all, Backstreet Boys exist.

Can the show summon Jesus? It doesn’t seem that way, as Jesus did not appear or even call into the show. Tully’s motherfuckin’ baby has been keeping his ass up all night long, so he’s got video of his wife singing songs and shit that he plays for the little motherfucker to try and get him to sleep. Aren’t those little motherfuckers cute when they’re sleeping? AJ McLean and his airbrushed fingernails (no Lee Press-On Nails for that man) came into the studio to help save our asses from another NMT with Rawdog. He’s making jewelry and women’s lingerie now, which coupled with his fingernail art, and his man-crush on Ryan Reynolds might lead one to question his sexual orientation, but make no mistake – he’s married. He talked about kissing Britney Spears on a basketball court when he was 13 and some other stuff, and then Rawdog got his little Jew claws on the reigns and took over with NMT, no matter what AJ did to try and stop it. After that, we got to make up potential death metal band names for AJ and Ellis, none were mentioned much less acknowledged except the ones AJ made up, so that was pretty neat. Just about as neat as when your dad stuck his dick in a vice and let the neighbor shit on it. OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 1/24/2013

Yet another Aids Thursday at The Jason Ellis Show, but today was just a little feminine, well more than usual.  In fact, we all had vaginas before we were born, which probably explains why Rawdog knows the words to TLC’s ‘No Scrubs’.  Yes he did sing it for us, but wasn’t near as gay feminine as the dong Tully played from his personal library.  Enough with the pussy talk, did you know Tiggy has butt cheeks in his feet, named Bill and Ted.  And even more manly than that, Rawdog fish tailed in his car the other night,   and almost kept it on the road.  Even more manly than that, is keeping civil conversations with yo’ baby mama’s so you don’t fuck the kids over.  Also important to never trust a Catholic Priest for the same reason really.  Of course if he’s just a priest from another Christian religion, just keep an eye on that dude aight!  As much as we hope there’s a ghetto in heaven, we equally hope hell’s got something righteous for these kid fuckers.  Of course, if hell is like Tully seems to recall, then were just in a constant state of fire, which Ellis wouldn’t mind too much.  Jerk his fire dick and shoot his fire load, Red Dragons!  More on Catholics, Jizz Cult sent a link to Tully about how they conveniently said fetuses aren’t people when being sued, but they are when it comes to kicking your chic down a flight of steps if she’s gained a few pounds, ya know for added insurance.  Sure that might make for a bad first date, sure glad Rawdog didn’t use those tactics for his 1st date with this new short petite chic.  No titties or BJ’s for the Dog, just back to the house to jerk it to Sonic Youth and celebrity porn.

 

Watch out for those waterfalls Rawdog!

 

What is The Jason Ellis Show without a dose of Hometown Hollywood News?  Probably a reply, but today we found out that Justin Bieber is a funny muthafucker, and told this Colette bitch to shut the fuck up.  Kris Jenner used to beat her kids, and a lot of other dudes off, so says Bobby Kardashian’s journal.  If you were curious what that “chic” Manti Te’o had a false crush on sounds like, Bobs your uncle!  Sylvester Stallone paid his half-sister off, either for abusing her back in the day, or most likely cause its easier to pay the crazy pill popping bitch off than put up with it.  Halle Berry is seriously selling the shit out of Tostito’s, check her guacamole titties out!  Lindsay Lohan’s new movie The Canyons Movie was rejected from both Sundance and South By Southwest citing its lack of quality in a movie.  Good Grief, Charlie Brown was arrested for stalking, which just reminds Tully with today’s technology, stalking is as easy as its ever been.  It didn’t take Tiger too long to get some new snatch, check her out.  And it didn’t take Tiggy that long to drop another #FuckTullyHellYeah.

 

I knew something was up with that dude

I knew something was up with that dude

 

In STD News, those sick cunts may have found a cure for Aids.  Then we played a game, and shout out to @mike_in_canada for this one……Ultimate Survival Tactics with Rawdog as your host.  Well, the game was a great idea, but having Rawdog be the voice of reason made for some radio gold.  Here’s the setting, Donald Schultz flies Ellis, Tully and Cumtard out to Africa, to get away from any Blick Dragons and back to nature.  Only the helicopter crashes, Donald burns up with it, and the 3 are left to fend for themselves.  So hotshot, what do you do?   Despite Tully’s ideas of killing Cumtard, you basically just put a stick in everything and you will survive.  Here’s the best I can tell you to do if ever lost in the Savanah of Africa, first you gotta find shelter, and tie shirts around your legs to soak up water from the grass.  Then, you just set the whole fucking place into a wildfire to stay warm, of course if the helicopter’s explosion hasn’t already achieved this goal.  Then you take an air bath using dirt for soap, clean your teeth with a stick, and lock your hands together when crossing a river.  Oh, don’t forget to throw a rock in the river, so you can properly gauge the depth, that’s key!  If you get a tick, just shoot your jizz over him to suffocate him.  If your foot hurts, just harden the fuck up.  Oh, and last but certainly not least, if your ever in a snow storm, in Africa mind you, just take a shit in the coroner and let the heat and smell waft your way to keep you warm.  This is all true!

 

What do you do hotshot?

What do you do hotshot?

 

Woman Am I Right?  So this Portland lady got stuck in between two buildings, and this is the 3rd story like this  in months.  This lady in Washington smothered her man to death with her huge knockers, again another instance of this but resulting in death this time.  Curious to see the world’s widest hips, check her out.  In Juno, Wisconsin at ‘Silk Exotic’, these two bitches fought over a dollar, despite one of them being with child.  Women in Vancouver have started their own fight club, Woman Am I Wrong?  Nope, its a pillow fight club, check it out!  Some girl bit her mom’s thumb off during an argument, but couldn’t find that link.  I did find this link, to these two bitches at their holiday party, and the bitten off finger nail that transpired.  In Scotland, this Chinese lady stole this other Chinese lady’s valuables, cause the other lady is a dumb bitch.  I also tried to find the story about the lady who stole a 40pound dildo, but every key word just found me tons of porn.  OK, I’m back!  Just in time for this lady, who got out of 6 speeding tickets, by calling in a fake nearby emergency to 911.  This Swedish woman stole and crashed a fucking train into an apartment building, which ain’t that easy to do.  From there, just a Reno woman who killed her man over porn, some lady bit her mans ear off for her 19th offense since 2003, we heard about the lady who drove 900+ miles instead of 90 cause she’s a moron, and some lady got her 5 dead cats names tattooed on her back.  Woman Am I Right?

 

 

Remember when Will notified us that Woman are now allowed in combat?  Well, that was the rest of the show.  Woman are fucking awesome in war, woman fucking suck in war.  Period blood attracts bears so that’s not good at times of war.  You can leave a dude to die, but you can’t leave a bitch to die.  Callers Am I Right?   Brand new for today,  EllisMate is posting a photo on Instagram, and reading the comments at the end of the show….so be sure to follow @wolfmate on Instagram, and get some better shit for him to read or its over.  Also, don’t forget to check out the Roast of Dee Snider tonight, with Jim Florentine, Jim Norton and many others, all on AXS.tv.  I personally won’t be able to catch it, as I will be knee deep in your mom’s snatch, looking for shelter like Rawdog told me too.  But not until I first throw a rock in that pussy to see just how deep it is…..still waiting for a ‘Ker-Plunk’, OH!