Have I ever told you guys how much you mean to me? How much I appreciate you and how you make me happy by reading this? No? That’s probably because it’s Friday and I don’t give a fuck. Ellis wants shark teeth by an illegal dentist when he’s old because he figures his regular teeth will be gone and what better to replace them than shark teeth? A while ago Sirius did an auction for someone to hang with Jason and to feed hungry kids and today Justin and Maya, the winners of that auction, are hangin in the studio. Shout out to their asses! The rest of the first hour was filled will conversations about pretty much everything. They touched on Wills app idea where you have a fake hungry kid on your phone that’s supposed to make you remember to donate to a real hungry kid or the one on your phone dies. Devin has heelies, her mom bought them despite the family dishonor, but it’s better than Devin taking on bodybuilding and shooting up roids in the bathroom and having backne. Ellis and Katie are retiring, from what exactly I’m not sure. He said maybe they would do private porn or just go back to the old balls resort and bang in front of everybody. I’m confused, it happens. They also mentioned Jason Statham, swiss army balls, LA water supply, rubber lawns, Temecula, national everything day, and donut fucking. Oh and happy steak BJ day all the insensitive bastards that don’t respect bitches.

In Shark News a female Great White shark was tagged and tracked for one year. In that year not only did she cross the Atlantic, she traveled about 19,000 miles total. Christian came in today with another set of his now signature segment, Striped Vocals. Today we

Admit it, you’d still do her.

heard from Poison, Machine Head, B52s, Queen, Pat Bennatar, The Who, Smashmouth, Faith No More, Metallica, The Sex Pistols, and the backup chick in that one Rolling Stones song Gimme Shelter. All of a sudden though a masked intruder stormed the studio pointing a gun right at Jason’s head! Good thing it was only Blasko and this was all a test to see how impenetrable Kevin Bourne’s knife defense really is. Well, it isn’t. Kevin was about as useful as a bus full of Cumtards at a… well, anywhere really.

The middle finger of Satan hung out in the studio after his vulgar display of power and had a bit of knowledge dropped on him. The Oxford dictionary added a few new words this year, some of them are beat boxer, chugging, bestie, and four variations of the word cunt. Cunty, cuntish, cunted, and cunting. So go cunt yourself you cunting cunt! Also what

It’s official, you’re cunts.

would a day with Blasko be without doing Get The Cock Off Your Chest! We heard confessions like how a dude shut down a cafeteria claiming food poisoning to get a piece of nurse pussy, a guy pooped next to tent, a dude had sex with the preachers daughter in his church on the altar, a dude fucked a tranny on purpose, a guy fucked his best friends girl, a guy got his boss fired to get his job but didn’t, dude and his bro used a tarded chick to get them beer then ditched her, a guy had sex with a crippled midget, and a dude fucked his buddy’s mom. Now all these assholes are free and clear to commit more moral travesties knowing that their record is wiped clean, party on dudes.

Aiden Ashley, adult entertainer, came in at moments notice so she can lift a kettle bell while saying sexy things. But instead they just had her say the lines from the show intro. After that, Hatebean performed live with new songs never heard by mortal ears like Punch Your Face (With My Penis) and Unconcious Pumps. Between the sweet vocals, shredding

I love you Ellis ~ Kevin

keytar, and Blaskos bass riffs pulled straight from hell, I couldn’t help but crank it up and start head banging. I loved it but the other people at the bus stop didn’t get it. Because Kevin fucked up and couldn’t protect the wing with his bodyguard skills like Kevin Costner covering Whitney Houston, he has to spin the wheel of doom. Luckily for him he got the 3 minute zombie, except that he had to put a dildo in his butt and act like a zombie, a special needs zombie as it turned out. And before I end today’s recap just remember, there are massive invisible sharks all over the Gulf of Mexico so watch your back, especially if you’re with yer mum, her chum bucket brings all the sharks to the yard, OH!