Show Re-Cap for Friday 6/14/2013

How you fuckers doing? We’re gonna pretend this is Friday evening and much like Ellis,825259473_chick_fil_a_hate_more_gays_xlarge you just got done jerking off in the shower. Ellis went to the Chateau Marmont for breakfast but even thought he liked the place he got shitty service. He went there instead of El Compadre, his usual spot, because an ice cream that he got for Devin had glass in it [SHITTING BLOOD IS METAL] and the other place he usually goes had water in the pancake syrup, cheap fuckers! Rawdog thinks Chick-Fil-A is all cool now because they allegedly stopped giving money to gay hating groups over six months ago after donating millions. Domino’s Pizza might be against gays too but the crack team of interns isn’t able to find solid evidence. Josh found something but his vote doesnt count becuase he can’t argue the reason why going to Chick-Fil-A is okay now but not if they discriminated against the Jews. He said, “Belief alone shouldn’t disqualify a company” except when that belief is something of his own apparently.

We came back with Hollywood news but still steaming from the conversation of the last demotivational-posters-demotivating-posters-funny-posters-cross-burning-KKK-the-klan-fire-burns-burn-victomsegment Ellis told Josh that it is either him or Josh and with that, Rawdog left. Ellis then talked to callers that either kissed his ass or were just plain ‘ol retarded. On the bright side, Ellis doesn’t have AIDS. A dude called in about perspective and made some good points but the only thing that I can take from it is the number of times he said perspective. I think he said perspective at least a dozen times. Perspective. Will started telling heart warming stories of his childhood and the KKK and cross burning barbecues and laundry day at Billy Bobs Laundromat where your whites get whiter than white.

After the most painful hour on radio Rawdog returned to do the worst segment on radio, Hollywood News. Did you miss it? Lucky you.  Next up is Ellis Jeopardy Intern Edition with celebrity guest Butterballs! As one would expect they are all total and complete morons! Anal Gay tried to cheat, twice and got caught both times, once by deducting points from one of the other tards and the other time by looking at the computer. At the end the real winner was Tully, because he is the only one that didn’t get a little bit dumber from listening to these interns.slap-o

After returning from the fucktardedry we found out that Balls is retiring from fighting because his back is going out. It Turns out smashing walnuts isn’t hard so unfortunately that was a waste of time, but it was funny watching the interns run all over town trying to find them. Team Jetta came in studio claiming that Butterballs pissed on the toilet but thanks to Will Sherlock Holmes Pendarvis he checked the security tapes revealing that it is in fact Team Jetta that had a lack of weenie control and sprayed his splatter all over the seat! Ellis is doing a signing with other dudes at Tilly’s in Upland on Saturday, umm, yeah if you went then good for you but if you are just finding out now then, my bad. They talked about dating, fucking, being sketchy, deal breakers, and falling in love. But more importantly, So your chick has a stinky box! Sometimes it;s simple hygiene, sometimes she is railing too many other dudes, sometimes she just needs a little medicine form the box doctor. Or you can use the old school method the yer mum uses to make her snooch smell better, shove a rotting mouse up ya, OH!

Show Re-Cap for Friday 4/19/2013

What happens when you come into the show a couple minutes late? You hear that Ellis wants to kill and is full of bloodlust. But I’m sure that it’s just a misunderstanding because even Katie says that Ellis is getting depressed less and handling shit better. Ellis is going to be able to punch people in de face everyday now because he is moving from his current house to a home in Gymville, next door to Blackeyetropolis. Punching your friends in de face is all in good fun, but if you knee them in de face then your just a dick. Unless it’s some fakey spinning flying knee to de face then it’s just fucking awesome! Before the show the guys, Ellis, Tully, Rawdog, Dom, Will and celebrity EllisFam guest Butterballs, played a game of street ball as discussed earlier in the week and during the basketball MMA-knee-to-the-face-fights-eccbc87e4b5ce2fe28308fd9f2a7baf3-903game Will sprained his labia and finally got his first legitimate sports injury. It was described as a very retarded version of prison ball with as much butt rape as one would imagine. Back to Will’s sprained cervix, he said that he heard two snaps in his knee and claims its fractured compoundedly but most likly he just tore a ligament. Rawdog can’t make 3 out of 10 layups as expected but he can dribble way better now than he could before. Ellis’s pool party this weekend will have a real mermaid there for the kids and also to save Josh when he falls into the pool and forgets to plug his nose. The discussion turned to cool kid names and what names the guys would name their sons of they were to have one, but Josh just seems to want to name his son a name that will guarantee himself a lineup with The Chippendale’s.

Dom Ass News was almost an hour long conversation on the conspiracy of the lost city of Atlantis and that it never existed. It was a  very confusing conspiracy theory mainly because there seemed to be no conspiracy behind it at all. Dom said that someone is Bermudaclaiming that he city never existed but Dom says it did and that they are living below the sea in a bubble with a hotel and indoor plumbing and seaweed technologies and sushi and somehow have electricity for lighting because it is dark at the bottom of the ocean. With an argument like that how could Dom be wrong! They also talked about the Bermuda Triangle and that is another place that Dom doesn’t want to go because he doesn’t want to mysteriously disappear. But Josh solved the entire mystery by reading one tweet, Atlantis is under the Bermuda Triangle and planes and ships disappear because of their centuries old yet incredibly advanced technologies. Makes perfect sense now.

Did you hear the one about the beached whale and the Gordons Fisherman? Jeremy Stenburg, aka Twitch, called in and talked some shit and then something about the Best Whip contest on ESPN and you can vote here but by the time you read this part, wipe, and flush the toilet, the contest will be over so just sit back and relax a little longer. Here’s the Jake brown ollie 720 video. Burt McKracken came in and discussed a few things, like the

And that's just the foreplay!

And that’s just the foreplay!

micro ramp, rollerblades, and something new with methed out whores picking at their faces and partying. Oh yeah, also to debut Cunt Kicker, if you haven’t heard it then listen to it here! The song kicks ass and I can’t wait to see what the other songs are brought to the table. They also talked about how annoying it would be of their spouses were into their music or careers and thats when Tully revealed that his wife secretly runs NoYouAre. The mystery of who bitPimps is has been revealed, I always thought you had really nice tits for a dude. And a new game was played today called Freak The Fuck Out Of Burt With A Spider While We All Laugh. Guess how that went? He manned up after screaming like a girl and let the tarantula crawl on his hand. After that they talked about snake bites, death, trippin balls, unicorns, and jewnicorns.

Dom’s Sasquatch sound clip that is definitive proof that Bigfoot is real, seriously, how can you argue against this?! Tully’s Cock News was a compilation of some of the greatest cock injuries of all time. A doctor circumcised a kid and almost cut off his baby winky, a man at Arby’s had his junk sprayed by scalding hot water in the bathroom after flushing the urinal, a young man in India “accidentally” had his pet fish “accidentally” slide into his urethra when he took it with him to go pee “accidentally.” A man claimed that a street gang knocked him out, robbed him, and slid a nail up his pee hole. And aother dude injected cocaine into his urethra, got gangrene and lost his dick, both legs, and nine fingers. Thats why you never should shoot up coke in your weenis. Do you hate Ellis? You should tell him that, but more importantly do you hate NoYouAre? If you do then watch this last video. Now do you? Well if you do then just know this one thing, we don’t want to hear about it. Besides, yer mum loves us, all of us, at the same time, OH!