It’s Friday and everyone is busy telling social media how much they don’t give a fuck, and we here at NYA are usually no different. But today is special. Today is the birthday of someone you all know and love. Today is a day to give a fuck and celebrate. But keep it quiet…not everyone knows…and we’re planning a surprise…so let’s keep it for the end.
As with every year on Chad Reed day (the 22nd of February), TJES celebrates this day by singing songs, reading poetry, and haiku’s written by fans of Chad Reed and the show. Since Chad Reed day falls on Saturday this year, we celebrate a day early – even though technically it is the 22nd in Australia. Here are some fan submitted tributes to Chad Reed.
A haiku by @TonySamurai_
Why are you so fast?
Quickest Aussie on two wheels
Two-two, you are King
A poem by @sharkchucker
Though I have no idea who you are .
Or even what you do.
The wind beneath your balls is Ellis.
And the Dingo is swinging from them too.
Poem #1 by @bitPimps
My hero isn’t in comics
My hero doesn’t wear a cape
My hero doesn’t battle mythical monsters
My hero doesn’t have a special call
My hero isn’t talked about daily
My hero is real
My hero used to wear green
My hero risks his limbs
For the sport he loves
My hero isn’t invincible
My hero is a normal person
My hero isn’t perfect
My hero makes mistakes
But my hero is courageous and brave
My hero rides sharp and true
My hero is CRTwoTwo
Poem #2 by @bitPimps
Chad Reed is an international super star
His amazing moto skill has taken him far
Chad Reed is tougher than a woodpecker’s lips
He soars like an eagle while doing whips
Chad Reed will never surrender
He is not a registered sex offender
While you’re casing and dealing with arm pump
Chad Reed is just hitting his powerband before the jump
Remember this legend on this day
To pay tribute to Chad Reed doesn’t make you gay
Poem #3 by @bitPimps
He don’t use no voodoo
He relies on his talent and skill
He’s like Neo after he took the red pill
Fear not if he’s near the back of the pack
For this courageous man has huge balls in his sack
In a blink of an eye, he’s back leading the race
Standing on the podium with class and grace
Accolades? He has many over his storied career
I bet he’d still win races even if he looked like Lord Sear
If you’re looking for a hero, he’s a wise pick
If you doubt his determination, suck my motherfuckin’ dick
Poem #1 by @AZ_RedDragon
Theres this sick ass dude from Australia.
He’s faster than any other fella
His name is Chad Reed
He’s built for speed
And if ya ask, he’ll tell ya
Oh, the Places Chad Reed Will Go!
Originally by Dr. Seuss, improved by Chad Reed! And @AZ_RedDragon.
Today is Chad Reed day.
Chad Reed is off to Great Places!
Chad Reed is off and away!
Chad Reed has brains in his head.
Chad Reed has feet in his shoes
Chad Reed can steer himself
any direction he choose.
Chad Reed is on his own. And he knows what he knows.
And CHAD REED is the guy who’ll decide where to go.
Poem #3 by @AZ_RedDragon
Chad Reeds a dude from Nantucket
With a dick so long he could suck it
And he said with a grin, as he wiped of his chin
If me ear was a cunt I’d fuck it.
Poem #4 by @AZ_RedDragon
Reed was a young man of Australia
Who painted his ass like a dahlia
The drawing was fine
The painting divine
But the aroma — ah, that was the failure.
Poem #5 by @AZ_RedDragon
Chad Reed rides with style and class
Even when passing your ass
His voice is deep when he talks
And you hear a clink when he walks
Because his balls are made out of brass.
Poem #6 by @AZ_RedDragon
Chad Reeds a dude from Kurri Kurri
Always in a bit of a hurry
But when he’d see a fine lass
He’d tickle her ass
And ride away saying No Worries
Bonus: Ellis Sings His Chad Reed Tribute Song (2/22/2011)
Download (link to MP3)
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Seven years ago, I stumbled upon something that would forever change my life in ways I never thought possible. I was sitting at home, flipping through the Sirius music channels on my DISH satellite TV package when I came across this crazy Australian guy making fun of the Lucky Charms cereal mascot with the most hilariously-bad Irish accent I’d ever heard. I laughed harder than I ever had in my life and from that point on, I was hooked. Every weekday from that point on, I would listen to Ellis for all four hours of his show, hanging on his every word. It became my favorite part of the day: sitting down with the boys and shooting the shit while laughing our asses off. As the years went on, Ellis continued to be an inspirational force in my life, pushing me to always better myself and strive to be the best. He and the show became a major part of my life and helped define who I was. But it wasn’t until Twitter came along, that the greatest gift Ellis has ever given me came to be: EllisFam. It started off as nothing more than fans talking about what was happening on the show, but it would grow to become a life-altering aspect of all of our lives. Slowly, we all started to get to know each other and become friends, no longer limiting our conversations to the show. The more we got to know each other, the more we realized how much we are all alike and how we’ve been through the same shit in life. This connection was born that seemed stronger than anything ever before experienced, even though we’d never met in person. It was a truly wild and unexplainable experience how this all came to be; a bunch radio show fans, spread across North America, becoming this tight-knit community that was filled with love and support. The power of EllisFam didn’t become clear to me until a very dark period in my life. I was a freshman in college and I was struggling with the fact that all of my so-called friends from high school completely stopped being so when they moved away for college. To make matters worse, I had just had my heart broken by someone who I thought I could trust and I was left in shambles. I was deeply depressed and couldn’t shake the dark clouds that seemed to constantly hang over my head. It got to the point that I started to have suicidal thoughts and became very self-abusive. It all built up until one day I had a complete and total meltdown. I began ranting on Twitter, spilling all of my emotions into tweets that came fast and furious. I had lost it. I was going over the edge and was about to end it all. But then something happened. I suddenly started getting all these tweets from EllisFam expressing extreme concern for me and asking if everything was OK and if they could help in any way. They acted as a therapist for me as I blurted out all my life’s troubles, giving me positive reinforcement and a shoulder to cry on. Out of all the people that came to my aid, two people went above and beyond in consoling me: Jess and Steve (AKA @ladystrangler and @bwstrangler). The amount of care and compassion these two showed towards me was unreal. I was blown away by how two people who I’d never met in person and had only known through conversations on the internet could be so willing and able to help me like they did. This act of kindness sparked what would become the best friendship I’ve ever had. These two mean more to me than anyone ever has and I can honestly say that I wouldn’t be here today without them. They’re my best friends and I love them. From that point on, my bonds with other members of EllisFam began to strengthen and the “Fam” in EllisFam began to take on more meaning. These people became my friends, REAL friends who don’t abandon you at the drop of a hat. No matter what, I always knew they had my back.
Even though I’d been a hardcore listener since the early days of the show, I had never been able to make it out to an Ellismania due to my relatively young age and lack of money to fly to Vegas. That all changed this year. I was finally able to make it out to Vegas for what was sure to be the greatest weekend of my life with the people that meant so much to me. At one point, however, that dream was in jeopardy; I needed a roommate to afford the room at the Hard Rock and I was unable to find one on my own. Luckily for me, and in yet another showing of Ellisfam love and support, Tim (AKA @wolfman812) came to my rescue and hooked me up with other Fam who wanted to split a room, Nate, Sara, and Victor (AKA @DraXsiS_Rocker @thewoodswoman @Saveit4thewar). My dream was saved and Ellismania was a reality. These people didn’t have to help me out and take me in, but they did and it meant a lot. The wait for EM was brutal, but honestly went by faster than I would have ever imagined. Before I knew it, it was October 10th and I was at the airport waiting for my flight to Vegas. Upon landing, none other than my two best friends, Jess and Steve, were there waiting for me so we could take a shuttle to the Hard Rock together. Even though we’d never met in person, we instantly acted as though this was our thousandth time seeing each other. The connection was immense. After a short trip in a cramped shuttle van, we arrived at the Hard Rock, walked up to the Circle Bar and began the biggest hug-fest I’d ever seen. Everyone that I knew from Twitter immediately hugged me with everything they had. I’d never experienced this much affection in my life and it was awesome. When Sean (AKA @cantskateanymre) saw me, the first thing out of his mouth was, “Do you want some water?” He knew I didn’t drink and made sure I was being taken care of. When that happened, I knew that I truly was among family. We all hung out like it was one, big family reunion and that’s exactly what it was. At last, I was able to be among the people that meant so much to me and that had saved my life. This is what EllisFam is all about: people from all across the US and Canada coming together to form one, big happy and yes, dysfunctional family. The weekend was the greatest time I’d ever had and I wish it didn’t have to end. Every kiss on the cheek from Jason and Kellie (@AZ_RedDragon @azkellie), laugh shared with Alex (@shit_toboggan), loving hug from Tim (Wolfie), every chance to say “Hed Ragons” with Nate, Victor, and Gregg (@Fngr_Xpressions), and the countless other moments shared with my Fam will be something that I’ll never forget and cherish for the rest of my life. The goodbyes were filled with tears, hugs, and promises to text each other once we made it back to our respective homes safely. It was an experience I’ll never forget and can’t wait to do all over again. This is the greatest gift Ellis has ever given any of us, a family to call our own that has done nothing but provide positivity and love in our lives. EllisFam is truly something special and one of a kind. I dare anyone to find a closer group of people because they can’t. EllisFam truly is “Thicker than Blood”. Red Dragons, motherfuckers.
Written by Cody McCraw (@Cody_McCraw92)
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Remember when The Jingleberries put out a call for recordings? Well, we’re doing a 4th round that we can send off for The Jingleberries to work their magic on, while we sit back and hope it gets played on the air. Like these previous rejoins!
There was another rejoin that made the cut, but we don’t have a recording of it. If you do, please send it to us!
Fuck Your Face (by: emilyinSD)
Welcome Back (by: tank_yanker)
Get The Cock Off Your Chest, Motherfucker (by: tank_yanker)
Urinal Dream (by: AZ_RedDragon)
Testicles (by: serutti)
Get Out (by: sharkchucker)
Sarcastic Moment (by: sharkchucker)
Short Bus (by: sharkchucker)
A Book Story (by: sharkchucker)
Barrel of Monkeys (by: Scarlet_Kitty)
Special Feelings (by: Scarlet_Kitty)
Dirty Barry (by: bitPimps)
Smack Em Yack Em (by: bitPimps)
- Did you miss the 6th round? Go check it out!
- Did you miss the 5th round? Go check it out!
- Did you miss the 3rd round? Go check it out!
- Did you miss the 2nd round? Go check it out!
- Did you miss the 1st round? Go check it out!
- Not sure what to do and need help? Go see the instructions!
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Well hello boys n girls. Its your uncle Ghostload speaking, and if you can read this, dude get a fucking life. Speaking of getting a life, your mom is and old school tool from before I could drool. Bitch be so dumb, sticks n stones be insulting her, OH! Nah but seriously, we here at the No You Are clinic do care a great deal about your mom…’s snatch and ass hole, plus she could suck the rust of an ’83 El Camino that’s been in the back yard since ’84, cause she did! Well I don’t know about you, but I personally have a strong interest in your mom, I mean besides the fact bitch better have my money, she’s also your mom, and I like you! I was doing a little research into your mom, no not “In to” your mom, not this time – No I mean real research and I noticed a bit of a downward spiral in her life since we first commented on her back in January of 2012. Hell just think that was just over a year ago, and to think where she is now, in fact if you know where she is, hit me on twitter @wiz1010 cause like I said, Bitch Better Have My Money! Anyways, here’s a month by month breakdown on just how far the bitch, i mean your mom the bitch, has fallen – Enjoy……….
Monday, January 23, 2012 As I mentioned above, this is the first time your mom was mentioned, and at her height I might add,
hob slob-knobbing with former Passenger 57 mega-super-broke-star what’s his name.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012 If we were charting this in graph format, not only would we be a bunch of fucking nerds, but the curve would be on the upward. Today may be the greatest day of your mom’s life. Today is not only Chad Reed day, well really yeah its just Chad Reed day!
Friday, March 16, 2012 Ah yes, your mom is still fresh on the scene, appearing with none other than Die Antwoord cause yes, I fink your mom freaky!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012 Ok, so remember the graph, yeah were on the “downward slope” as they call it, well they also call it that cause when you go in your mom’s vage you immediately fall downward into the pussy, hence the term! Anyways today was the gruesome story of the day your mom started hooking, shocking but true!
Wednesday, March 30, 2012 Ok now she’s just a fucking bitch, I mean using the SiriusXM phone app is hard enough with it fucking sucking balls n all, but now we find out the truth about the Sirius phone app and your mom – stupid cunt whore oh and your mom is a moronic jizz cunt!
Wednesday, June 27, 2012 John in Houston, we have lift off! Your mom and the extinction of big foot? You’d better start keeping your eyes out and your cocks covered from here on out kids!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012 Now your mom hates the gays. Today, sadly enough was the day we had “The bet between evil Chick-fil-a and your even more eviler mom” dun dun dun!!!
Thursday, August 30, 2012 Now look, I’m not a fan of beating up your mom. Its only cause she’s into the shit really that I do it. I’d rather drop a deuce on her chest, return serve, and fucking roll the fuck out aids free! But to be fair, here is a reminder of what she used to be just a few months ago and probably my favorite, this is where Christopher Walken got his style from.
Friday, September 21, 2012 Now I know this one’s kinda confusing, you hear “Bit’s amazing day with your mom” and you think shit’s sweet right. Dude it’s fucking bit with your mom, shit ain’t that sweet right about now homie. The good news though, this one’s got some really sweet fucking pics, of batman and the joker crush’n’grooven and your mom (See the last one)
Wednesday, October 31, 2012 Well, well, well. It’s like I caught you in the cookie jar, pun intended! By now in the month by month recap of your mom’s past year or so, she’s just flat out of control, I mean all of #EllisFam?
Monday, November 26, 2012 Well if you fuck all of Ellis Fam, then who’s left? Yeah we saw it coming just sad it happened during the holidays. Things are really getting bad for your mom when turning tricks ain’t even cutting it no mo’.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012 It’s cold, money’s tight, and we at No You Are don’t fucking care about your mom. Sure we could buy her dinner, or maybe hold her hand, but nah! Now we just fuck her for sport……as if we ever didn’t. Some things never change!
Thursday, January 24, 2013 Ok this is one of those pivotal points in your mom’s life, well kinda the opposite as she’s lost all ability to pivot on your dick anymore which made her one of the nation’s top 5,000 hookers in the 40 and above division. Now its just a matter of survival when fucking your mom, thanks to Rawdog though maybe we can make it out alive!