Jason Ellis is looking forward to “having a monster in his pants” for the weekend and wonders if Eminem really is gay. Fuck if I know or even care, but now that fucking song is stuck in my head. Along with images of Young Wing and Slim Shady aggressively pounding it out prison-style like sweaty Neo-Nazis as Rihanna is strapped onto a Hitachi and screaming in high-pitched delight while squirting ladyjizz across the room and onto their glistening tatted bodies. Tully estimates that Eminem is 30% gay. NYA is happy to provide the other 70. Welcome to the Friday recap, you’re stuck with me again. Prepare your sphincters for some bullet points. Continue reading
It’s Friday the 13th…for the second month in a row. Ooh, Spooky! Saturday is pi day. (3.14 get it?) Ooh, Interesting! It’s also #WGAFF…and the crew here is feeling it too. So you get me again, the NYA utility fielder, pulling a doubleheader. And it’s raining no fucks given so this is gonna get sloppy and be all over the place and end very abruptly. Just like yer mum’s last abortion. Yeah, it’s gonna be like that today. Continue reading
It’s hot in LA and white people sunburn easy. Welcome to the show! Life is full of ups and downs and according to Ellis, the stagnant middle is to be avoided at all costs. He wouldn’t want to get comfortable on the rollercoaster of life. Devlin Steele is in Ellis’ head again and we’re off in another moment of inspirational motivation that has Young Wing mindful of doing all the right things. Just like that we’re off and rocketing into the show…and this recap. Hold on, this will all be over soon and only slightly very painful. Click, click, click…here we go!
It’s Friday and everyone is busy telling social media how much they don’t give a fuck, and we here at NYA are usually no different. But today is special. Today is the birthday of someone you all know and love. Today is a day to give a fuck and celebrate. But keep it quiet…not everyone knows…and we’re planning a surprise…so let’s keep it for the end.
I started my previous recap by stating that Ellis was back. The above statement was how he started the show today. I think we lost him again somewhere between last Wednesday and Las Vegas. Apparently he’s been stricken with panic attacks every day since then, and of course he always worries those will lead to AFib. Add to that the social anxiety of a weekend on display at the AVN Awards and it’s no surprise he needed a day off on Monday. It seems the recent Australia trip was a bigger blow to the psyche than he initially realized and he still hadn’t taken proper time to process that shit which can only compound his PTSD. The man has issues.
The man also has a hell of a lot of good people who really do care about him. More than he will ever allow himself to believe. We get it, mate. Many among us walk similar obstructed paths in life and fall victim to the black hole of negativity because of it. I don’t need to preach about the benefits of seeking comfort in the positive aspects of one’s life, or inspire with meaningful words, or motivate anyone to do better for themselves by facing a challenge head-on. That’s your thing. Besides, how do you tell a champion that he should stop fighting a battle and learn how to live with the loss? And then convince him that is how he will ultimately win the biggest prize? A fucking lame boxing metaphor is all I got. Take your medicine Jason Ellis. Continue reading
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