Hey everybody! I hope you all have your pussies nice and creamy and are ready to have your way with my words. You never know what’s gonna happen, so be ready for it to happen if it hasn’t already happened. Allow it to happen, because if you die, you’ll have just missed what was going to happen. Dr. Greenthumb reeks of absolutely zero kook, he’s an awesome guy with awesome stories and awesome electricity. Ellis is still feeling the Texas. Tully’s kid is watching YouTube videos of people opening up packages of dinosaurs and keeping daddy from getting more sleep. God damned son of a bitching YouTube videos of people opening up packages of dinosaurs. Road rage in Hollywood near where everyone on the show lives caught on video, Police Scanner Will knows all about it of course. Feel free to speculate on this road rage incident and be sure to as judgmental as possible because you’re better than them. Also, Henry Rollins was a dick to Tully once, so fuck that god damned son of a bitch too. Not to be outdone by some road rage, Tully picked a fight last night with Tyler Posey and now they’re no longer talking, they’re fighting. At EllisMania 11. At the Hard Rock. In Las Vegas. Nevada. October. 9th & 10th. BE THERE! Will is old and he’s plugged into a world even older than himself, basically knew Moses personally. Tully found out recently why refrigerators are magnetic now, because the old latch refrigerators would trap kids and kill them. Murderous refrigerators were a thing, man. Dave The Voice Boyce & Jude should be coming soon to Faction on Sundays, Ellis got an email from the Sirius XM execs saying exactly that. Well not exactly that, actually it was more like, “My face, your ass, my nuts, your mouth, my fist, your kids dome” or something like that, I’m paraphrasing.
The Fur Institute of Canada has called for a plan to revive the seal penis sales because fisherman up there love the seal cock. “Hey Francois, check out this seal dick I just scored, eh!” “Oh, that’s not a seal dick you frog, check out this seal pecker, eh!” Apparently seal dongs have been sold for up to $650 Loonies or Toonies, whichever one is worth the least. Will has some music that is currently not being played on Faction, it might have been played in the past, or maybe it’s never been played before. But he’s there and so is the music he brought in. So they listened to it. Pat Robertson told a grieving mother her dead baby could’ve grown up to be Hitler. What? I didn’t make that up, that’s no joke. That’s pure, 100%, bat-shit crazy Christian ideology. LA passed the minimum wage hike to $15-an-hour, so be sure you go out and mortgage that $1.3 M house you’ve had your eye on. So the guys have put together a list of a bunch of terrible events that have happened, like Will walking out at the very mention of this segment. So they’re going to try and say the nicest thing possible about these terrible events. You remember how this game is played. I don’t have time to write all of it down so you’re just gonna have to listen to the replay or On Demand.
Andrew the Lying Farter is probably the scariest person I’ve ever heard. He knows way too much about Katy Perry and Taylor Swift for a grown-ass man. People freak out at some of the pictures I post, none of them are as disturbing as Fartdrew’s obsession with Taylor Swift and Katy Perry. It’s far from normal and he’s not joking in the slightest. I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up arrested for stalking one or both of them. You know he probably drives by their houses or places they might visit. Andrew Perry-Swift is young, he needs to learn from a trained stalker like Will. He’s been in the stalking and fuck game for over 4 decades without a single conviction on his record. And that’s all I got for ya. So go clean up that cream corn snatch of yours and compose yourself, you god damned degenerate.