It’s Friday the 13th…for the second month in a row. Ooh, Spooky! Saturday is pi day. (3.14 get it?) Ooh, Interesting! It’s also #WGAFF…and the crew here is feeling it too. So you get me again, the NYA utility fielder, pulling a doubleheader. And it’s raining no fucks given so this is gonna get sloppy and be all over the place and end very abruptly. Just like yer mum’s last abortion. Yeah, it’s gonna be like that today.
The show opened with another installment in the long-running love/hate relationship between Ellis and getting fit. He felt fat at EMX. He wants to pump iron and build muscle, but says fuck cardio and the crazy strict diet because abs are overrated and food is good.
We’ve heard it all before. Tully did throw in a reference to Mark Bavarro and I can confirm his statement about how the former NY Giant tight end had beastly strength and always had to be gang tackled. Steve Caballero is a 50 yr old kitty-cat of a man and Ellis really admires him. Someone called Ellis a ‘rad dad’ and he got kinda weird about it. A dude named Greg is in studio but I didn’t catch a last name or reason why. More fitness talk led to UFC 185 talk and some calls and that was the first hour.
Dude Is It Gay? and Dude Am I A Slut? make a return and here’s the breakdown.
- Nick let his girlfriend peg him – NOT GAY
- Toby thinking about hooking up with a hermaphrodite – NOT GAY
- Mike whose friend tongue-kissed him at party – NOT GAY
- Gary touched by other dude in threesome – NOT GAY
- Rudy sucked off by dude in threesome – GAY
- SpaceGhost would like to be jerked off by Tully – GAY
- Jay grabbed brother’s junk during DP, interlocked fingers during Eiffel Tower – GAY
- Ray asked to suck dick and swallow for $500K, said yes immediately – NOT GAY
- Jake watched brother jerk off, then jerked off by brother – NOT GAY
- Mike got a blowjob from a surprise tranny – GAY
More of the same old shit. No calls for Dude Am I Slut? was a bummer.
moderndaydads.com sent Ellis a questionnaire that will presumably be posted on that site at some point. The guys answered the questions on air. All were exactly what would you expect from a fluff piece like that. Apparently this is where the ‘Rad Dad’ comment came from.
We found a slut! Tess called in to admit that she made out with a girl so the other girl could get the last shot of whiskey! Sorry…false alarm. Not a slut, just a moron. And it’s time for another break as a guest is coming in.
Jusstine Kenzer, who claims to be a psychic, is in studio and……….
Fuck This! I will not acknowledge this person’s very obvious bullshit or the crippling effect it had on the show. The guys tried, but this chick wasn’t playing ball. Let my pal @bitPimps twitter comments speak for themselves…
Tully does a nice job defending the decision to have this chick on the show, but I didn’t hear much positivity at all about her on social media. Jude pops in studio to opine on her and before you know it the funny is back and JES order is once again restored.
We finally learn that Greg is the winner of the auction to spend a day with the guys. That dude helped the show raise a lot of money for a great charity so good on Greg. Jude exits as Will enters the studio for some lame news stories, an impromptu Hatebean song, and some phone calls including one from a dude that has been struck by lightning twice…but he didn’t get any cool powers so, whatever.
That’s all I’m giving you today because who gives a fuck anyway? Unlike yer mum’s gangbang crew I’ll pull out once in a while.