It’s Friday and everyone is busy telling social media how much they don’t give a fuck, and we here at NYA are usually no different. But today is special. Today is the birthday of someone you all know and love. Today is a day to give a fuck and celebrate. But keep it quiet…not everyone knows…and we’re planning a surprise…so let’s keep it for the end.
Jason Ellis is finally shooting loads again! Or at least one a day. Which he figures is probably enough for him these days considering his age and busy schedule. I agree, it’s like a daily vitamin and he’s finally on a regular dosage of vitamin O instead of jamming a handful in his mouth. Not sure if it’s a good or bad thing for Katie who, according to Ellis, seems to genuinely enjoy having a handful of something jammed into her mouth as often as possible. I’m sure they’ll work it out, they’re too fucking perfect for each other not too. Ahh…who are we kiddin? As soon as he’s able, the West Coast Cowboy will be back in the saddle sprayin his six shooter whenever he wants. Because he generally does what he wants. And since he’s been hangin out with Cab and some of the other old skate crew, now he wants to get back on the skateboard, and he has been. He’s still trying to cope with not being what he was once was with a deck under his feet, but Tiggy digs it and thinks his old man is the shit, and every dad knows they would keep at it for that reason alone. Tully does what he wants (that his wife is ok with) as well. And he wants to look good in fan photos at Ellismania 10. So he has been back in the gym and eating much better these days. Jason hopes he’s not going to be one of his 10 opponents, but Michael would never tip his hand if he were holding that secret. Can you imagine a better ending to EMX than to have the last fight be Ellis vs 10th man Tully? No matter the result, I just want that final moment with Ellis and Tully together, raising their hands skyward, triumphant in yet another successful event brought about by this crazy satellite radio show, and as I see it, their amazing partnership.
The fighters in the Musical Chair Fight are now allowed to choose their own costumes, with the best one receiving a prize. Canadian Ellisfam Adam Conniff, who was slated to appear as Ginger Spice will now be allowed to wear a Dave “The Voice” Boyce designed life-sized Chung costume. If you don’t know what a Chung is or who Boyce is, then please surrender all of your RDS gear immediately.
The guys talked about how some fans are bitching about their Wolfknives names. Some have even went as far as naming it the ‘Wolfknives Redemption’. Apparently they don’t get the joke. Or realize that it only came about because Ellis wanted that Porsche. Maybe if they were around 3 years ago when the Wolfknives package was originally offered they would have received something more to their liking. Maybe not. That’s the deal. Too bad if ‘Cum Dumpster Diver’ on a piece of plastic bothers you. It’s fucking hilarious to Ellis and Tully and just about everyone else. Actually that’s a pretty sweet name. Your dad got that one, right? They can’t all be winners folks, that’s how this show works, and you should know that by now. The guys did relent on a few and changed a couple of them, but I’m guessing none of those Wolfknives will be happy with the new names either. Everybody else was correctly told to fuck off and shut the fuck up about it or face exile from the fake gang. C’mon, people…play along.
Dana White says he never got the text from Ellis about fighting CM Punk. But he has gotten so many texts about fights for Punk that he just ignores them all now. Seems Young Wing stressed that one for nothing. Does that mean there is still a chance it could happen? Maybe. Does that mean we should continue to hashtag the shit out of EllisvPunk? No. It’s out there now, let the UFC execs decide who best suits what they want from Punk’s opponent. ie; who sells the most PPVs without making Punk look terrible.
Valentine’s Day is coming up and edibleanus.com has you covered. Unless you want chocolate (I’m guessing if you’re into this, then you do), because that shit is already sold out. But don’t worry, they have plenty of other fecal resembling items to soothe your ass soul.
Tim and Charlie from @HeroesProjectUS are in studio to briefly talk about their efforts to raise money for a climb to the top of Mount Everest to benefit Armed Forces Veterans. They seemed like really good dudes with a very worthy cause, so check them out and support theheroesproject.scout.com
The guys are giving away tickets to the Trailer Park Boys show that is happening at the Hard Rock the Sunday of Ellismania. If you are not familiar with these dudes, you should check them out. Fucking hilarious. The winners of the tickets were Malcom and Sean, so congrats to those fuckers, but if you’re in the area, you won’t regret forking over the cash to buy your own.
There was another audition for Tigerbox from some mouthy fucker named Jared from New York who performed an a capella version of Pantera’s ‘Walk’. Dude gave a great effort, but it was mostly horrible without that gnarly guitar riff pacing it. Tully backed him though, so maybe he gets in.
TJ Lavin and Uriah Faber are up next and Ellis is pretty pumped on Uriah, who he recently met and determined was a good dude…after years of bashing the shit out of the dimpled chin California Kid. Faber talks about his relationship with Nick Diaz, which prompts the old Ellis story about being friends with Uncle Mayhem, which automatically made him an enemy of the Diaz brothers. But Ellis has nothing but respect for the Diaz camp these days, and we all know how he feels about Miller now. TJ credits Tully for doing Pilates and says it’s the absolute best workout. He’s so cute. And a big fan of the show, who listens as often as possible whenever his daughter is not around. If you’ve been to the last few Ellismanias, you have likely ran into Lavin or at least heard him on the mic during the fights. Simply one of the best dudes ever. If you’ve been around the MMA scene long enough, you’ve probably already heard the unbelievable and completely fucked up story about Uriah Faber’s adventure in Bali. And if not, it definitely deserves a listen. And according to witnesses…it really did happen. TJ relays a story of when he first met Ellis. It was at a skating demo, and Young Wing was jumping off an air conditioner and bomb dropping into the ramp. And bailing hard. Time and time again. The same thing that made me take notice of this Jason Ellis guy back in the day was what TJ also saw…the unrelenting determination. That tattoo was greatly deserved and that same attitude still drives Ellis to this day. Ya know, when he comes up for air long enough to remember that side of himself. Faber has an idea for a PED Lie Detector Challenge, and through some very heavy insinuations, seems to think Ellis’ former Famous Stars and Straps teammate Dominick Cruz might pass on that test…because he could never actually pass the test. He really fuckin hates Cruz, and doesn’t hold back much at all when speaking of him. Uriah also reveals that he is bros with CM Punk, and thinks Ellis would be a good match for him. Go tell your boss your thoughts on that, bro. The segment ended with a really nice phone call and story about how great of an ambassador to the sport, and just all around swell guy that Uriah Faber was on a visit to a military base. The banter between Ellis, Tully, TJ, and Uriah was top notch and I have a feeling we will be seeing the California Kid and The West Coast Cowboy teaming up again real soon.
With about 25 minutes left in the show, the guys have Wilson come in to read some news stories, probably sent to him by bitPimps, and start winding down the show. After a few of these, we hear some music in the background and are told that a guest has entered the studio. It’s Dillion Harper! Apparently that bastard Freddie Wilson Pendarvis III is having a birthday today too, taking some of the bluster out of our own AZ_RedDragon‘s born on date. (Yeah, that was gonna be the big surprise I was saving. Thanks for fucking that up too, Will) So happy fucking birthday, Captain Lanyard. Anyway, back to the fuck show…by this time Will’s dream girl, Dillion is stripping completely naked and giving him a serious chubby to go along with his now bright red face, by rubbing her young, shaven vagina on his old, brittle knee. At the peak of the awkwardness, Will says bitPimps’ name, followed by “is Awesome”! (I’ll let my anonymous pal worry about the psychology of that himself, but I seriously hope he remains in disguise again at EMX to move undetected by the bloodthirsty arsonist Pendarvis) Of course Ellis only adds to the weird energy in the room as he goes on and on about how incredibly hot Dillion is. Any connoisseur of current porn could tell you she is one of the best of the young fuck film sluts. This is why we subscribe to officialjasonellis.com, and if you don’t, you missed an all-time highlight. The show winds down with more teasing of Wilson and a few final calls.
As mentioned earlier, Feb. 6th is also No You Are’s own, Jason Vankilsdonk’s birthday and on behalf of the entire crew here we want to pass along our best wishes and also our gratitude for all the work Jason has done here at NYA and for what he means to the Ellisfam in general. My bro is crazy dedicated. He has personally fucked his way through roughly one half of all your mothers. Don’t worry…he left room for bitPimps to fuck the other half. They like it when their tips touch in the middle.
SEE YOU FUCKERS IN VEGAS!!!!!