Today’s re-cap is gonna be a bullet point edition. I’ve been dealing with some heavy family stuff today, so you’ll have to forgive this bare bones re-cap.

• Ellis still really likes the new Slipknot album
• Tomorrow’s show will be the last one of the year and celebrity stingpong will make its comeback
• Ellis was supposed to get a lump in his face removed, but the doctor said he’d need plastic surgery to get it done
• Tiger and Devin performed in their school Xmas plays, and Ellis noticed Devin headbanging while playing the ukelele
• Ellis and Tully are officially old according to a study that says the average age on Earth is 32
• This got Tully talking about how older woman today are hotter than they were in the past because of better health, diet, and exercise
• Madonna looks like The Joker and Ellis thinks that is hot
• The Reverse Awards winners were revealed and here are the results:
  • Smartest Virgin: HotDog
  • She’s Still Got It: Bruce Jenner
  • Rising Star: Andrew “Dice” Clay
  • Clean and Sober Living: Andy Dick
  • Most Talented Dog: Air Bud
  • Most Uncreepy Male Star: Bill Cosby
  • Athlete of the Year: Wilson “Fuck Machine” Pendarvis
  • Least Smelly Box: Guy Fieri
  • Smallest Clit: Bruce Jenner
  • Smallest Butthole: Justin Bieber
  • Least Punchable Face: Tyler Posey (Teenwolf)
  • Best Movie: Anything Cumtard Likes
  • Best Actor: Shaq
  • Most Deservingly Famous: Willow and Jaden Smith
  • Most Welcome Comeback: Pussy Hair
  • Most Alive Celebrity: Angelina Jolie’s Breast
  • Lifetime Achievement: LA Rocks
  • Band of the Year: LA Rocks
  • Most Human Looking: Tara Reid’s Nipples
  • Best Ellis Show Guest: Andrew “Dice” Clay
  • Woman of the Year: Sam Ruben
  • Man of the Year: Bill Cosby
• A man has spent $150K on plastic surgery to look like Kim Kardashian, turns out he got pretty bad surgery
• The remaining slots for EM10 were filled and NYA’s own AZ_RedDragon had his video reviewed, but was found to be too much of a murderer to compete. You’re my boy, Blue!
• Kevin came in and delivered another joy-filled edition of Droopy News
• A site called The Darwin Awards has a ton of videos of people doing stupid stuff that gets them killed and it turns out that almost 90% are of men offing themselves. Shocking
• Will revealed that he dated two sisters back-to-back, thus adding to his already illustrious fucking career
• Kevin, HotDog, and Tully competed in some Ellis Jeopardy and Tully, with the aid of his incredible death rattle buzz-in, was victorious
• Tully said that if he gets the DNA test results back that everyone submitted and it’s revealed that he has a high chance of ball/dick cancer, he’d chop it off and become a woman with a shower head vagina. So hot.
• A new show in Las Vegas will start performing featuring hologram Liberace
• Kevin and HotDog battled each other in an acoustic sing-off battle featuring Tully on the guitar. Kevin ended-up being far superior (although HotDog was far better at singing than he was at rapping)
• Kevin and HotDog then took turns playing guitar and battling each other. Kevin sang about fucking HotDog’s mom and cumming too quick, while HotDog sang about fucking Kevin’s dad in his glorious gay, sexual beast voice. Game. Set. Match. HotDog.
• Ol’ slow hand Wilson picked up the guitar and demonstrated his mastery of the six string while delighting us with a new HateBean song.
• More Wolfknives were given their names
• Final Calls wrapped things up and ended the show

Remember, tomorrow is the last new show of the year so make sure you don’t miss it. Also, I would like to take the time to mention that this is the end of HotDog’s internship and I would like to thank him for being arguably the funniest intern in the history of the show. Here’s hoping this isn’t the last we hear of him. Cheers, mate!