There might be torrential downpours in California, there might be biblical like flooding, sure some lady got distracted by her windshield wipers and caused a massive pile up on the 405 but all that doesn’t stop The Jason Ellis Show from bringing you the best radio on radio! Ellis has three balls, two between his thighs and one between his cheeks and had an ass period last night ruining his new undies. You ladies know his pain. They talked quite a bit about getting old and how aging is a bitch. We all know it and we’re all gonna have to deal with it so before I lose my strong full youthful boner I’m going to move on. Apparently Joe Rogan, Shane Carwin, and Brandon Shaub had some internet drama and it got quite heated before they all ended up wrestling naked covered in oil and eventually getting over their disagreements just in time for the slumber party. This then brought the conversation to head injuries and concussions in MMA. Speaking of head injuries, check out the UFC this weekend. Especially if you recorded it because that shits over by now.
Are you missing some limbs from a freak accident? Do your friends call you Stumpy McGee? Do you dress like a pirate every Halloween? Then you should be in the Amputee Dating Game! Just email Tully at Tully@siriusxm.com and you might be the lucky winner who gets their stump licked like, like a stump licking licker. A recent survey shows that English people are creepier than we previously thought, apparently over a third of Brits have, carry, and most likely fucked their teddy bear well into their adult life. This riveting story forced everyone to become educated on the tale of Theodore Roosevelt and the three bears. Today’s adventures also brought us to new Faction music. Or so we thought, we heard such crap as Hozier, Nickelback, Rick Ross, Willie Nelson, Marilyn Manson, AC/DC, Soundgarden, Diarrhea Planet, E40, and a bunch of other shitty music. I think the only songs that will be played are Manson and AC/DC so that’s a relief.
There will be a movie review on Wednesday. They guys will be revisiting the classic, Die Hard. The navy announced that they have working lasers and they’re fucking awesome so take that terrorist fucks. Murica, Fuck Yeah! They guys called out to any celebrities that might be listening to call in and let the guys know what they’re doing and to my surprise there are a lot of famous people that listen to the show. Some of the people that called in were, Brad Pitt, Christian Bale, Hulk Hogan, Mathew McCaughnohey, Gerard Depardu, Andrew Dice Clay, Kelly Slater, Antonio Banderas, Kim Jon Un, and Bane. WHo would have thought that I would have bothered writing all these names down? Surprised the fuck outta me! Tully has been reading Cosmopolitan Magazine, naturally, and ran across an article with some BDSM tips for ladies to try with their man, or butch lesbian girlfriend, depends on how you roll. Some of the tips were to stab him with forks, pull on his earlobes while riding him, violently smack him with a hairbrush when he least expects it, have him give your volvo freezer burn, call him Professer Wankenstien until he beats you, and have him wrap you in seran wrap until you can’t breathe and then he can watch the football game in peace. These are such good tips I’m currently touching my bad parts with a cattle prod while listening to Meatloafs, Not A Dry Eye In The House.
According to the most awesome study ever, men who have sex with more than twenty women have a lower chance of prostate cancer and other cancers. Will brought in a news segment that had nothing to do with weed or cocks so I really didn’t bother listening. Maybe next time he won’t waste our time with bullshit news. And after all that bullshit there was more bullshit with final calls. It was riveting, like watching soft core porn, just tits and ass. This is the part where I write a joke about yer mum but I’m having a bit of writers block. I wish mum jokes came to me as easily as yer mum cums to me, OH!