Jason Ellis is him, not you, and he knows that because he is him and you may not be quite knowing of that because you are you and may kind of want to be him, and you know what, he can only be happy as he is him and as he is him in certain pants. Am I right, ladies and gentleman? Boom. Big Daddy Jayce Cakes knows the pants that he’s happy in and he knows there are people that are happy in pants that are unlike his happy pants but that’s because society and life shapes us all into the types of pants that we like and that become our happy pants. So you, over there, be happy in your constant sweatpants because those are your happy pants and I will be over hear in my skinny jeans because these are my happy pants. I am not a person who wears sweatpants in public…sweatpants are not my happy pants. My ass is not fabulous and lusciously defined in sweatpants like they are in skinny jeans. But, we’re not really gonna talk about me and my fucking amazing ass, because Ellis isn’t talking about my ass (no matter how much he should be). Tully is totally on board with what Ellis is saying about happy pants and extends it further to include hoodies because Tully has (at any given time apparently) 5 hoodies on hand in rotation that he wears, but there’s a 6th hoodie that he keeps in the car for those just in case moments when he doesn’t have one of those top five hoodies and it gets chilly while he’s walking the streets at night looking for those Infamous Ladies of the Night….or maybe playing at the park with his kid because he’s a happily married man with a toddler. So anyways, there’s a 6th hoodie that Wifey got for him (because she works in the fashion industry and it was free) that Tully is sure makes a ton of the other people hanging around at the park after hours super jealous, but that he never in a million years would buy for himself because it’s just about as bad as those jeans with super embroidered back pockets. It’s a nice hoodie…just not a nice for Tully hoodie.
They sort of then gloss over that whole civil unrest thing that’s going on in Ferguson and then Jude walks in to a cacophonous round of applause and woo-hoos and shouts of ecstasy and they get talking about Herpes and Ellis says that he allegedly has a cure for Herpes and getting the herps would be pretty frisky if there was in fact a cure for it. Jude agrees that curing herpes would be big business and Ellis could make a few bucks doing it and probably buy SiriusXM and steal Jude away from Shade45. And, omg btw, speaking of Slim Shady (do people still call Eminem that? I’m not very hip to the haps) Jude’s dad is in the new Eminem music video and he got the gig in the most gangster way possible, because duh. Jude made sure to say that he had nothing to do with it whatsoever, but that one day he got a call from his dad who told him the news and was pretty pumped on it. I mean, who wouldn’t be? Em is still a powerhouse and being in a video for him is great exposure for anyone. So, what’s the way that Daddy Angelini got the gig? He got on the phone, refused to audition and said if they wanted him, they could come and get him. And that really is sweet. They watched the music video and the actress who was in it is named Chantelle and has Vitiligo (a condition where your skin is 2 different colors- black and white- a la MJ) and the guys all think that it’s pretty sweet that she full on owns the thing that is generally perceived as a flaw and is making it work for her. So hot. I googled her since Will was all “she was on Americas Next Top Model” and Tully had said the condition and she’s very attractive so…good for her and everyone involved and maybe one day the world will also want really short models with thick thighs…but…no prolly not. My body is just too damn bootylicious…smh.
Jude and Ellis then get to talking about the Bua and Jude show because Ellis was talking to Bua last night and Jude was right there in the studio with him, so why not bring it up? Apparently Bua was feeling a little anxious about the whole thing because he wasn’t quite sure about how on board Jude was and also, that whole thing where Jude likes to partake in non prescription medication from time to time, but Jude is just ready to go. He wants to be in the chair doing radio and not talking about doing it because he’s the talent and he doesn’t need perpetration beyond being told that it’s a done deal. Once he gets the heads up that it’s all set and this is the day and this is the time he will be in a constant state of making sure he’s ready on that day and time. It seems to me like. Ellis gave the him the official unofficial ‘the time is yours and Bua’s’ so hopefully we’ll be hearing more of The Bua and Jude show very very shortly.
And then…sigh…Ferguson. We all know it’s going on, right? We all know that there’s been rioting and burning and what caused it and that the cop isn’t being indicted and people are losing their shit. And it’s just…a shame. I mean…I dunno. They talk about it on the show for a bit, Ellis, Tully, and Jude say their piece about it which basically amounts to ‘Continuing violence isn’t going to stop the violence, bring the love, and maybe they should have put the cop on trial’ and…it’s exhausting. There’s a media frenzy over the whole thing and I think Tully is right in saying that they sit there reporting and looking grim and saying that they hope sanity prevails while in their minds they’re going ‘burn burn burn’ because it’s good for their business. Jude is really pushing that they should put any cop on trial who kills someone who is unarmed….but…the whole grand jury indictment process exists because if there is not enough evidence (found by a jury of citizens) then they don’t go to trial because then the whole trial becomes a trial of speculation…and that’s not a fair trial for either party involved. And I’m not saying that the cop going free is fair either- it’s not. I don’t think this is a situation where anything is fair. It’s all a shame. To me, there is nothing anyone can say or do that makes this better. There isn’t anything to be done that would equate to justice. A cop killed someone. A family lost their son. I would say that no one can know what happened except for the officer involved and the man who was killed….but a part of me thinks that maybe that isn’t true. Unfortunately one side of the story doesn’t get told because a man died, and the officer only knows what happened in his mind and memory isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Again…it’s sad. A man is dead, an officer has to live with it for the rest of his life, and Ellis is right…continuing with the hate will solve nothing. We need to turn up the love a bit. And Jude is right too…it does seem to be happening more and more, police involved violence. Is it because people are getting more violent or because police are quicker to use deadly force? It’s a question of what’s wrong with the system…the system needs to be fixed.
in the next segment they talk about some news that’s been going on around the world and…you probably don’t care. What you do care about is Andrew Dice Clay and what the motherfuck happened there. I was behind in listening to the show and had been perusing twitter so I knew something happened and just kept waiting to hear what happened. The first part of the interview was pretty standard and I’m not really gonna talk about it because I don’t feel like wasting my time saying anything potentially nice about someone who turned around and became the douchiest of all the bags because that’s not how I roll. I don’t roll with douchebaggerry. The set up of what happened is this: ADC came in for interview and brought along his kids who have a band and their band is opening for him in January. During the interview it comes out that Ellis is supposedly also going to be interviewing the kids and their band and playing a song of theirs. Ellis chats with the kidskin bit, but mainly listens as it becomes the ADC show about how fucking awesome my kids’ band is segment and finally gets to playing the song. Ellis then stopped the song after the first verse and made a comment about how they need to look into getting some better production, and how it wasn’t really Ellis’ fave type of music. And welcome to the fuckshow. Dice got dicey. He ran his mouth a bunch about how Ellis is an asshole and will never be famous and no one will ever know his name (guys, my fucking 49 year old chiropractor boss knows who Jason Ellis is) and played like he was a tough guy and did a 180 on everything nice he said about Ellis and the show during his shameless self promotion of a one sided interview and called him a fucking asshole jerkoff face who was unprofessional and the kids walked out after saying they ‘didn’t have to take this, fuck Jason Ellis and TJES’ (because, you know they’re super professional). It was amazing. Ellis and Tully handled it decently, Ellis kept it cool and Tully tried to bring some rationality to it and tried (unsuccessfully) to bring ADC back from whatever planet of angry insanity he launched himself off to and….then they went to break. I will not mention how many times ADC brought up Opie and Anthony like they still matter.
After the rejoin Ellis made a joke about forgetting to get an Instagram photo with the Dice and they discussed a little what happened and what caused it to go to shit and it comes down to Dice went into defensive Daddy mode as soon as he sensed that Ellis didn’t like it and he did a Hollywood Bullshit 180 and we were all witness to it. Obviously someone should have told Andrew Dice Clay that he was going into a no bullshit zone. We also got to hear from Cullen that this same sort of situation happened in NYC where a Radio Host got hoodwinked into the ADC + kids interview but was unable to respond as Ellis did because, well, that guy isn’t Ellis and prolly also didn’t have the power of the happy pants behind him.
Tully switched the subject to talking about how he got to enlighten his kid to the nuts and bolts of how Santa works and it was his top moment of being a father so far because there is nothing so magical to a kid as Santa and now his little dude is old enough to really get the whole magic awesomeness of Santa. Rounding out the show they do the ‘other other thing ‘ that they were going to do which was discuss an article from a Christian website about things you are doing that make you unfaithful to your spouse that you don’t even realize. They ranged from flirting to being in the same room as a me ever of the opposite sex and were ridiculous and the best thing to come out of that was Tully talking about an office relationship he had and how it was awesome because working in an office is fucking hell, but fucking in an office is hella fucking awesome. It is. I totally got railed by Hubbs at my old office…and every time I looked at the desk we did it on after that…I was a happier person ;)