It’s Friday, and that means that you do not have to give a fuck about anything. Anything at all. Fiscal cliffs? Fuck em. Filibuster? Never met her. So toss your children to the side, give your spouse two middle fingers and sit down and read my bullshit! FUCK YEAH!
Men in the 50’s used to come home from work and eat a dinner that was ready when they walked through the door (at least it better be ready), smack their wife on the ass (or eye if she burnt dinner) and sit and read the paper whilst smoking a pipe and drinking a scotch. Sounds like one hell of a life if you ask me. There was a common consensus among the two Super-Dads in the room that the whole scenario is pretty Barry damned fucked up. These days, men should forego the days of working overtime and binge drinking and spend more time with their family, which is what most people on their death beds would say unless their last name is Kardashian of course.
The new producer, Dom (@TheHippieDom) has a pierced lip and says it attracts attention to his mouth. I imagine Pendarvis has a hard time making eye contact then and it’s only a matter of time before he starts trying to tickle Dom in the green room. And then Dom will get invited to his first “Prize Chamber Slumber Party.” And then we will never see Dom again. I hope Will can keep his meaty hands to himself because so far, Dom is a sweet ass dude. Get this: The guys started talking about drawing and who would be the better artist. Of course, this snowballed into they should be drawing titties, and those drawings needed real life inspiration. So Jason issued a challenge to Dom, telling him he needed to get them a naked lady they could draw in the next 45 minutes or else he was going to be the model himself. Well I’ll be a son of a bitch if that dude didn’t wrangle up a hot chick who was hanging out around Shade45 and brought her in to a round of applause. No, the guys didn’t start clapping, this chick Tya started making her ass shake, and I have to admit, I was aroused. I’m getting aroused now. This is no longer my hands typing, I have incredible dexterity. So Jason, Tully and Rawdog all drew their depiction of this girl and they all sucked, but Josh’s actually seemed to offend her, so the Titanic method isn’t going to help the Dog get laid anytime soon.
Note: I couldn’t get the pictures of the drawings to save, and I’m not going to try to hard, but check out @ellismate twitter or @wolfmate on instagram.
Did you know it’s International Women’s Day? Well I can’t think of a better way to celebrate than another edition of “Women, Am I Right?” some of the highlights: Some chick got arrested for pulling over on a freeway, stripping down to nothing and screaming “I don’t give a fuck.” Red Dragons to you, ma’am. On the more redneck side of the world, a woman crashed her car into a mobile home while running from the cops, stripped off her pants and tried escaping in a power wheels car. This prompted a bet between Ellis and Rawdog about the upcoming GSP/Diaz fight, and the loser has to drive a power wheels car naked for Ellismania. Looking forward to that. In more WAIR news, a woman got a DUI for driving on the sidewalk and then kicking a cop in the balls. A woman was charged with masturbating with a vibrator while driving(There seems to be a pattern today). And finally woman who was already in prison was charged with squirting her titty milk on a guard, which as everyone knows can pass Hepatitis, AIDS and Cholera to anyone it touches. It’s like a fleshy super soaker filled with disease.
Women, Am I Right?
MMA News: Nick Diaz and GSP are fighting at UFC 158 and there was a press conference call in which Nick Diaz started going off about how GSP is talking so much shit to him that he’s got soccer mom’s telling him on the street they hope GSP kicks his ass. Diaz also said that the people want to see a fight not a wrestling match, which is probably what it’s going to be. GSP can say he’s super dark and he is going to beat him up all he wants, but we all know the only things that will be bruised at the end of the fight are Nick’s thigh and GSP’s pelvis.
MIKE FUCKING TYSON WAS ON THE SHOW TODAY. Another shout out to Dom for hooking that shit up. Iron Mike sat down with the boys and seemed like he was fucked up off of his balls at first. There was a moment there when it seemed like it was gonna go off the rails like the LL Cool J interview but Ellis got it back on track and they talked about life, pigeons, bitches and pathifism. Mike kept busting into an acapella version of Black Dog, and holy shit this man has brain damage.But he does have a one man show he is touring with, and I’ve heard it’s fucking awesome from quite a few people. They talked about how he went to just about everywhere in Australia except Tasmania because those people are kooks. Ellis spent a few minutes trying to get Tyson to tattoo him, but Tyson wasn’t having it, saying he’d give him gangrene and shit. Overall I’d say the interview went well and the guys left a good impression on him.
After the Tyson interview, the chick that came in for the boys to draw came in again with her friend London something or other. I never fully caught her name because Ellis was all over that shit and it started feeling like middle school when you were the only person in the room who wasn’t making out with someone. That never happened to me I’m just saying. Shut up. The chick wanted Ellis’ nuts and it took Sir Michael Tully telling them to get the fuck out for the show to get back on track.
Hollywood News: Bieber is losing his shit. Or not, but he is definitely well on his way to losing his shit. He passed out during a show and is evacuating his vagina all over twitter like puny little Canadian songstresses do. I don’t know, I’m only going to take an interest in Bieber when he is on Celebrity Rehab throwing his feces at Haley Joel Osment over who gets the top bunk. The rest of the Hollywood news was a bunch of BS crap you’ve all heard before and nobody is even reading this anymore. I’ve had a long ass week full of work stress, stress with a 4 month old, and I have to say writing these re-caps has to be one of the coolest things I have ever been a part of. Thanks to @bitpimps and @az_reddragon for allowing me to riff off some bullshit on a radio show that we all love. Being a part of Ellisfam isn’t just about being a fans of a radio show, it’s about the sense of community that comes with it. You are the people that live in my phone, you are the unnervingly honest and friendly people I’ve ever (not actually) met. Red Dragons.
Also, your mother is a whore.