Show Re-cap for Thursday 11/20/2014

“The truth needs to be told. No you are should interview me. I’m ready to tell all. ” – Jason Ellis

Ellis played soccer today with his kids at soccer practice and also with some of the other parents who didn’t look as old as Ellis but acted like they were way older. Jason and Tully talked about soccer a whole bunch and how it seems like every kid that’s not old enough to fuck is kicking a ball in a field somewhere. Soccer soccer soccer everyone has a boner No+Soccer+For+Me_9947f3_5185975about soccer, thanks England ya bunch of fucks! Is crap okay for kids to say? Can kids say crap without being crucified? in my opinion, yup, its O fucking K by me. Those little shits can say whatever fuckin shit comes outta their mouth, just so it’s not my kids. This topic drove the conversation to getting stuff off the internet, like the Vern Troyer blackout clip and Rich’s friend Ana Listing. Ellis is going to be in Austin tomorrow so if you’re there also you can find him somewhere and hang out. Want more info then don’t ask Ellis, just ask Austin Party Planner @JohnInAustin formerly known as @JohnInHouston.
Ellis agreed told us that he wants to do an interview with NYA. We decided that the seven of us can’t ask every question that everyone wants to know so send your question to AskEllis@lixlink.com Not all questions will be asked. Especially the shitty ones.

If you missed The Ultimate Fighter yesterday another chick got beat up and the chick that whooped her ass was happy. It was awesome. Next up, Hotdog Phone Sex Part Two, The All Beef Hotdog! This time Hotdog called a gay sex phone line and here are the highlights from his call:

Have you eva seen a grown man nekked?
Does your dick look like Madonnas arm, all veiney?
I can taste my own puke.
Describe your butthole to me now!
No I have to fuck you I can’t bend over I’m not that flexible.
How do you like my four inches of thunder big boy!

After this call of epic proportions a phone sex operator guy called in and said its just a tumblr_maa0elcDDA1qgqej2bunch of women in a same room like call center, the longer they’re on the phone the more they get paid. And there’s a supervisor that sometimes listens in. Tigerbox is reportedly sold out so they might move it to a larger venue, we will have more details as they develop.

 

Upon their return from the break Andrew The Giant hosted the Google Auto Complete Game boyfriend/girlfriend edition. Here are some of the stupid things these fucktards are asking.

  • Why does my bf/gf…
  • Why won’t my bf/gf…
  • Why is my bf/gf…
  • I want my bf/gf to…
  • My bf/gf is…
  • Why won’t my bf/gf stop…
  • Why are all these bitches on Google and not fucking…

An aussie morning show was doing a remote coverage of the “hoverboard” and the UxEqC7Dreporter got shit whipped by a rouge skateboard. Hunter Dundee Pet Detective, that’s right just let that sink in. It’s brilliant. I’d say more but I don’t want to give any spoilers. In a study of men who are receiving testosterone replacement therapy and found that there’s no link to heart problems so keep on fuckin saggy balls! Sirius is doing their hungerthon auction again, go to SiriusXM.com/hungerthon and the highest donation bid will get to sit in on the show for a day. Utah wants to bring back firing squads and that’s the most metal news to come out of Utah, ever. Jake Ellenberger called in finally and basically said he fucked up and lost the fight for himself through a series of errors. Final calls time and because the only thing worse than listening to morons on the phone is recapping morons on the phone so instead I’ll tell you to check out the Bua and Jude show on On Demand under the Friends of Ellis section. And while there check out yer mum, she’s also under friends of Ellis, all of them, every single one, OH!

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Show Re-cap for Wednesday 11/19/2014

Evening, readers. Welcome to yet another Wednesday recap where the half of it’s made up and the points mean nothing. Ellis opened the show talking about how Starbucks is suing people so they don’t have to say that they have GMO’s in their overpriced coffee. But that is mostly bullshit at best. So it just goes to show that just because somebody you know posts some shit on Instagram doesn’t make it true, and just maybe check shit before you cosign it. Speaking of bullshit, Madchild won’t be fighting Tully at EMX because of conflicting tour dates in Europe. So it’s time to pull out the big guns and start harassing that fight dodging pussy Mark McGrath until he comes to Vegas. Which will probably end with Tully realizing scotch isn’t as good for cardio as cardio, but will most likely never happen anyway. Continue reading

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Phone Sex With Will & Hotdog

So last night, Will, Hotdog, Cumtrard, and Andrew decided to call up some phone sex hotlines and record the results. While Kevin and Andrew solicited lines, Will and Nate would try to incorporate them into their sexy conversations. Will was… dry as a bone? He wasn’t feeling the sexy that night, it must have been a murdery night. And Hotdog was throwing curve balls all near the plate, causing some near misses but lots of hits. Also, the show addressed the “Wow” Pendarvis phenomena that happens only once in a great while. Have a listen! Continue reading

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Show re-cap for Tuesday 11/18/2014

You know what’s funny…I never remember my fucking password to get into this site. I mean…every goddamn week I have to try three times before I get it right. Maybe I just thrive on the pressure and the tidbit of adrenaline I feel when the little red text pops up that says I only have one more try before it locks me out for four hours. Or maybe…maybe I’m just too damn blonde for my own good. I totally got locked out once and had to switch my password. It was not awesome. But anyway….welcome to your Tuesday recap of The Jason Ellis Show brought to you by some twacky blonde with marginally large boobs and a wonderful ass (which got grabbed so many times at the HorseForce NYC show…you’re welcome guys…and girls ;)

Ellis is having penis problems! Dun dun dunnnnnnnn! No…not really…but lately more than ever Ellis has been noticing that his penis has a wide range of sizes. Ellis isn’t really off-put by his fluctuating penis size (he’s more perturbed by trying to say ‘fluctuate’ actually) but he has in fact noticed. Continue reading

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